“Love is love is love is love. Cannot be killed or swept aside…Now fill the world with music, love, and symphony” -Lin Manuel Miranda, 2016
The theater has always been a place filled with love. From the couples in the audience on a date night to the iconic onstage performances, the theater embraces romantic attachment. It has showcased prominent love stories from modern and historical texts. And a less-well-known part of attachment in theater are “showmances”; real relationships that develop between actors who are portraying fictional love on stage. As a theater major and actor myself, I began to wonder how this attachment develops and whether showmances are any different than other relationships.
To investigate this topic, I interviewed fellow actors about their perception of love in theater. First, I wondered what they thought about portraying a couple on stage as compared to being in a real relationship off-stage.
“Theater mirrors real life. So stories are told on stage that could happen or have happened in the real world…but I think the biggest difference between portraying romance on stage and being in a relationship is the authenticity and uncertainty of real life. You don’t get that same struggle on stage because it's a script.”
However, this actor also understood that sometimes portraying a couple on stage can turn into real feelings.
“You’re spending hours a day together, pretending to be in this romance, and I think sometimes it can lead to real feelings or real relationships because of how much you get to know each other and how much time you spend together.”
This development into a real relationship is the definition of a showmance and this actor’s answer aligns perfectly with research on showmances. Saslove and colleagues (2022) write that showmances develop due to the amount of time that actors spend together while rehearsing a show and the act of pretending to be intimate which brings the two together in a unique way. In addition to the development of showmances, this study also found that the people in showmances show higher levels of nurturance and eroticism towards their on-stage romantic partner (Saslove et al., 2022).
The development of a showmance is similar to the development of any attachment in childhood and adulthood. People become attached from care and proximity (Esposito et al., 2017). The time spent together and care between two actors as they perform creates an attachment, first for pretend and then manifested into real life. Showmances evolve from scripted chemistry to genuine connection, proving that even in the world of make-believe, real feelings can take center stage.
References
Saslove, J., Gormezano, A.M., Schudson, Z.C., & van Anders, S.M. (2022). “Showmance”: Is performing intimacy associated with feelings of intimacy?The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality 31(3), 329-341. https://muse.jhu.edu/article/874127.
Esposito, G., Setoh, P., Shinohara, K., & Bornstein, M. H. (2017). The development of attachment: Integrating genes, brain, behavior, and environment. Behavioural Brain Research, 325, 87–89. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2017.03.025
I can see how spending all that time together could lead to real feelings. It makes me think of a time when my friend told me he was starting to like his main partner in the school play. He told me they spent a lot of time together and they built a lot of chemistry with one another. I can see how the line between acting and real life could blur. Shared experiences are a great way to get to know someone. I imagine it was difficult for them when the play ends and they have to go their separate ways.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog post as I have always been intrigued by this subject. So many of the television shows that I watch, I always wonder how the actors don't fall in love and am surprised when they don't end up in a relationship. I enjoyed how you talked about how proximity can play a role, because I can even relate this to when I was on a dance team. We had to do a dance where we were telling a story of a relationship, and just by spending so much time with this person and being in rehearsals together it made it hard for there not to be a spark. I also really liked how you included interviews from fellow actors to get different perspectives.
ReplyDeleteI was a theater kid growing up, and the showmance is such a quintessential part of the theater kid experience; even if you aren’t involved in one yourself, you know somebody who has been. I actually just had a set of friends get married that had started dating after playing Bert and Mary Poppins in middle school. Theater tends to be incredibly intimate, and requires that you get to know your costars very quickly so that your relationship plays correctly on stage. I think another big factor in theater relationships is the closeness of the community, theater kids are super close (for better or worse) simply due to their strong, shared set of interests, which is a great foundation for getting into friendships and relationships. That, combined with the adrenaline of performing, is a recipe for lasting relationships.
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense that performers sometimes developed romantic feelings for one another after spending so much time with their fellow performers, especially if they were acting like they are in love. I wonder if this interferes with the authenticity of a real relationship. I feel like this may not be an issue if the bonding occurs outside of acting, but I am also not sure because most of the time would be spent acting. I am curious to know if relationships that come out from two actors spending time together on set. Had any research been done on the longevity of these kinds of relationships? Really interesting topic!
ReplyDeleteThis was a super enjoyable read, as someone who enjoys the theater but never really thought about how genuine relationships can materialize on a stage. I loved how you described showmancing and linked it to real attachment styles. Your quotes from their interviews were terrific and helped make the topic feel real and relatable. It stands to reason that if you spend that much time faking a relationship, you’re eventually going to start feeling one. The idea that love can blossom from even make-believe interactions is really much sweeter than I initially believed. Thanks so much for the lovely take on love in theater, and overall this is one of my favorite blog posts, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis post was a fascinating look into the world of showmances and how emotional attachment can blur the lines between stage and real life. I found it especially compelling how you tied in research to explain why these connections feel so real: constant proximity, emotional rehearsal, and the vulnerability required to portray intimacy. As someone who once participated in a high school theatre, I remember how close the cast became, even though no showmances formed. We shared intense moments, and I can see how a romantic storyline could easily turn into real feelings. Your interview responses and references made the topic feel personal, grounded, and insightful.
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