“Love is love is love is love. Cannot be killed or swept aside…Now fill the world with music, love, and symphony” -Lin Manuel Miranda, 2016
The theater has always been a place filled with love. From the couples in the audience on a date night to the iconic onstage performances, the theater embraces romantic attachment. It has showcased prominent love stories from modern and historical texts. And a less-well-known part of attachment in theater are “showmances”; real relationships that develop between actors who are portraying fictional love on stage. As a theater major and actor myself, I began to wonder how this attachment develops and whether showmances are any different than other relationships.
To investigate this topic, I interviewed fellow actors about their perception of love in theater. First, I wondered what they thought about portraying a couple on stage as compared to being in a real relationship off-stage.
“Theater mirrors real life. So stories are told on stage that could happen or have happened in the real world…but I think the biggest difference between portraying romance on stage and being in a relationship is the authenticity and uncertainty of real life. You don’t get that same struggle on stage because it's a script.”
However, this actor also understood that sometimes portraying a couple on stage can turn into real feelings.
“You’re spending hours a day together, pretending to be in this romance, and I think sometimes it can lead to real feelings or real relationships because of how much you get to know each other and how much time you spend together.”
This development into a real relationship is the definition of a showmance and this actor’s answer aligns perfectly with research on showmances. Saslove and colleagues (2022) write that showmances develop due to the amount of time that actors spend together while rehearsing a show and the act of pretending to be intimate which brings the two together in a unique way. In addition to the development of showmances, this study also found that the people in showmances show higher levels of nurturance and eroticism towards their on-stage romantic partner (Saslove et al., 2022).
The development of a showmance is similar to the development of any attachment in childhood and adulthood. People become attached from care and proximity (Esposito et al., 2017). The time spent together and care between two actors as they perform creates an attachment, first for pretend and then manifested into real life. Showmances evolve from scripted chemistry to genuine connection, proving that even in the world of make-believe, real feelings can take center stage.
References
Saslove, J., Gormezano, A.M., Schudson, Z.C., & van Anders, S.M. (2022). “Showmance”: Is performing intimacy associated with feelings of intimacy?The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality 31(3), 329-341. https://muse.jhu.edu/article/874127.
Esposito, G., Setoh, P., Shinohara, K., & Bornstein, M. H. (2017). The development of attachment: Integrating genes, brain, behavior, and environment. Behavioural Brain Research, 325, 87–89. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2017.03.025
I can see how spending all that time together could lead to real feelings. It makes me think of a time when my friend told me he was starting to like his main partner in the school play. He told me they spent a lot of time together and they built a lot of chemistry with one another. I can see how the line between acting and real life could blur. Shared experiences are a great way to get to know someone. I imagine it was difficult for them when the play ends and they have to go their separate ways.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog post as I have always been intrigued by this subject. So many of the television shows that I watch, I always wonder how the actors don't fall in love and am surprised when they don't end up in a relationship. I enjoyed how you talked about how proximity can play a role, because I can even relate this to when I was on a dance team. We had to do a dance where we were telling a story of a relationship, and just by spending so much time with this person and being in rehearsals together it made it hard for there not to be a spark. I also really liked how you included interviews from fellow actors to get different perspectives.
ReplyDeleteI was a theater kid growing up, and the showmance is such a quintessential part of the theater kid experience; even if you aren’t involved in one yourself, you know somebody who has been. I actually just had a set of friends get married that had started dating after playing Bert and Mary Poppins in middle school. Theater tends to be incredibly intimate, and requires that you get to know your costars very quickly so that your relationship plays correctly on stage. I think another big factor in theater relationships is the closeness of the community, theater kids are super close (for better or worse) simply due to their strong, shared set of interests, which is a great foundation for getting into friendships and relationships. That, combined with the adrenaline of performing, is a recipe for lasting relationships.
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense that performers sometimes developed romantic feelings for one another after spending so much time with their fellow performers, especially if they were acting like they are in love. I wonder if this interferes with the authenticity of a real relationship. I feel like this may not be an issue if the bonding occurs outside of acting, but I am also not sure because most of the time would be spent acting. I am curious to know if relationships that come out from two actors spending time together on set. Had any research been done on the longevity of these kinds of relationships? Really interesting topic!
ReplyDeleteThis was a super enjoyable read, as someone who enjoys the theater but never really thought about how genuine relationships can materialize on a stage. I loved how you described showmancing and linked it to real attachment styles. Your quotes from their interviews were terrific and helped make the topic feel real and relatable. It stands to reason that if you spend that much time faking a relationship, you’re eventually going to start feeling one. The idea that love can blossom from even make-believe interactions is really much sweeter than I initially believed. Thanks so much for the lovely take on love in theater, and overall this is one of my favorite blog posts, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis post was a fascinating look into the world of showmances and how emotional attachment can blur the lines between stage and real life. I found it especially compelling how you tied in research to explain why these connections feel so real: constant proximity, emotional rehearsal, and the vulnerability required to portray intimacy. As someone who once participated in a high school theatre, I remember how close the cast became, even though no showmances formed. We shared intense moments, and I can see how a romantic storyline could easily turn into real feelings. Your interview responses and references made the topic feel personal, grounded, and insightful.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really interesting post! As someone who has been involved with theater for a long time, I have always found myself opposed to showmances. You quoted someone on the fact that relationships are much different in real life since they are off-script - and that is where my brain has always been. However, I do understand where they come from. I think everyone can relate to the feeling of watching a love story and thinking "wow I would fall in love if I had to do that". In that sense, I enjoy how you bring up the aspect of uncertainty. In a production of the Addams Family I was in, I watched as the characters who played Morticia and Gomez fell in love. It made sense as their characters are known for their neverending romance, and their proximity with each other. Over time, especially when the show ended, they had a rough breakup because they realized that they did not really have the same values or passions at all. They got to know each other in a very different environment than most usual relationships do, and I would say that they met each other as different people than they actually were. Either way, your post is incredibly written and the interview was very insightful. I enjoyed reading!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this I am curious about how the behaviors in the characters impact behaviors displayed in relationships that originate from a production. For example, if someone falls in love with someone while playing a very romantic or open character, does this unintentionally or intentionally make them more open in their relationship? Or does this influence the way they behavior toward someone in a way they typically wouldn't have if it weren't for the character they were in the theater setting. It seems like they would romanticize the persona of this character since it was a part of the beginning of a relationship. Thank you for sharing, this was a very interesting post to read!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved reading this! As someone who participated in theater in high school, I definitely saw some showmances happening, but now, I've never thought about it in a way of attachment. It totally makes sense. You can always tell when two actors have chemistry or work really well together. I am always curious how they don't fall in love with each other, especially if they are portraying an intimate relationship, often physically involved. I think that anyone in proximity has a higher chance of developing romantic feelings for someone, but it increases when you are purposely displaying romantic feelings and gestures, even if it isn't sincere (to start). This was really interesting to read. Thank you for sharing this perspective!
ReplyDeleteThis blog post was great and super interesting! I think it is fascinating that showmances developing creates a deeper connection on-stage. I did theater for twelve years of my life and was only cast as a character who had a partner a couple times. When I was cast into those roles, it was often awkward as I was much younger. I would be curious to learn what research says about this topic depending on the age of the actor/actress. For example, would high schoolers’ relationships differ from adults’ relationships? If someone is married off-stage, how does that affect their on-stage performance if their character has a partner?
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your post! The way you connected attachment theory to the idea of “showmances” in theater was so creative and unique. It’s fascinating how something scripted and rehearsed can transform into genuine emotion off-stage, especially given how much time actors spend together building trust and chemistry. Your interview quotes really illustrated how the line between performance and reality can blur. I also appreciated how you linked this back to attachment theory—it makes sense that proximity and shared vulnerability can foster real connections. As someone who enjoys theater, your post made me think about how performing love might actually teach people about real intimacy.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting blog post to explore; it makes sense that actors or performers sometimes develop romantic feelings for one another after performing on stage. It was interesting to see how you connected attachment to showmance. I think from my own firsthand experiences watching Broadway performances and plays, I defiantly at times have wondered if cast members are in a relationship or if they just have that much chemistry on stage. As a human I cannot image how others keep their feelings for others hidden, especially if there is so much chemistry present. I am not sure if I would be able to kiss people on stage and not have any feelings attached to those actions.
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah, this is a very thoughtful and engaging post. I really enjoyed how you connected the emotional world of theater to psychological concepts of attachment. You talk about how “theater mirrors real life,” and how vulnerability on stage can blur the line between fiction and genuine connection. You brought together the idea of showmances and attachment theory, it makes sense that shared experiences and emotional intimacy even when it is scripted and memorized could cause a similar attachment that can develop into real relationships. Thinking about this in a hypothetical way I thought about how well known actors developed relationships after filming together. Such as Zendaya and Tom Holland from Spider-Man. This is really well written and I enjoyed hearing your thoughts and you allowed me to look at things from a new perspective.
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah, I thought that your post was very insightful and incredibly interesting. I grew up in the theater world and saw a lot of this firsthand, people who played love interests ending up dating after the show wrapped and even some that are still together. This idea of pretending to be two fictional characters in love can really transport people into a reality where this is true. I find this concept extremely interesting to think about as I think this happened in my own relationship. While we didn't meet playing characters in a show, we did live in the same dorm freshman year. We always say that we don't think we would have even been in the same orbit had we not lived in the same hall, and the proximity piece really did help us with coming together. It’s so interesting to think that if proximity had not been a factor we probably would have never gotten together let alone been a factor in each other's lives, so I find this idea of proximity and time spent together creating attachment extremely fascinating. Thank you for sharing!
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ReplyDeleteThis was such an interesting topic, and I love how you blended your personal theater background with research. I’ve never acted, but I’ve watched friends in theater shows get incredibly close during rehearsals, so reading the explanation behind showmances made perfect sense. Your description of scripted intimacy turning into real feelings reminded me of when my friend did a musical last semester and ended up dating her co-star. She said the emotional closeness built during practice made everything feel amplified. Your post does a great job showing why proximity and shared experiences can make attachment happen so naturally in theater.
I loved your post about showmances and how on-stage romance can develop into real attachment. The Lin-Manuel Miranda quote was a perfect opener for this post, and your interview with a fellow actor added good insight into this. The line about "authenticity and uncertainty of real life" versus following a script captured something important yet hard to understand. What struck me most was how showmances follow the same attachment principles as any relationship: proximity and care. Actors spend a lot of intense hours together, sharing vulnerable moments, and those repeated interactions create bonds. It makes me wonder if showmances might actually accelerate attachment compared to typical relationships, given the compressed timeline and emotional intensity of rehearsals. Your conclusion beautifully ties it together even in make-believe, real feelings can emerge. It's a reminder that attachment doesn't always follow a predictable script.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post because I have always wondered how people don't catch feelings for the other person when they are pretending to be in love. This post did a really good job of explaining how. feelings can form between two actors when they are playing as a couple, and all that time together, pretending to be in love, can make people feel closer in real life. I liked the point where it said that acting has a script, but real relationships don't, and they can form when you least expect them. This reminded me of a friend I had back in high school, she was a dancer, her and her duet partner had been dancing together since they were little, but once they got into high school, they spent so much time dancing together that they formed that connection and ended up dating. This post really helped me understand why these bonds happen.
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