Insecure attachment is characterized by challenges in getting our needs met in relationships1. Although, media is often used by people to avoid and forget about life situations, this trend may be magnified when we have an insecure attachment. When we are struggling with real-life relationships or a sense of attachment security, we may choose TV shows to fulfill our relationship needs and desires or confirm our desired view of ourselves. We may be able to live vicariously through our favorite characters1. To gain a better understanding, I talked with a friend about her media usage.
“I often joke around about how I shouldn’t be able to watch TV because I get way to involved in plot and the characters. I can’t separate myself from them. Romantic movies especially give me such joy and happiness seeing the plot play out and the characters finding true love at the end. I watch these movies and just think why can’t that be me. I get consumed by series and often rewatch my favorite ones multiple times”
This heightened intimacy we can feel towards a character in the media may be because they are safe and predictable, unlike people in real-life2. I have personally found that as I become more invested in a TV show, I can begin to predict their actions and feelings. It makes me wonder if perhaps these characters then may become a representative attachment figures fulfilling desires for relationships predictability in my real life2.
Individuals who identify with an insecure attachment are more likely experience conflict in relationships and negative emotions concerning self-esteem, and acceptance leading to loneliness and a lack of belonging2. As humans, when we have a high sense of loneliness and need for belonging, we may assign human characteristics to inanimate objects or media figures to fulfill these needs. Individuals high on loneliness and a need for belonging were more likely to experience a deeper intimacy and emotional connection with their favorite TV character2.
Overall, it is normal for an individual to become engaged in their favorite TV show as a way to escape their daily stress. It is important for us to practice mindfulness when concerning our own habits as we are in a society that is surrounded by media. We should strive to find a good balance between being present in our everyday relationships and rooting for our favorite TV characters.
1Silver, N., & Slater, M. D. (2019). A safe space for self-expansion: Attachment and motivation to engage and interact with the story world. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36, 3492-3514. doi: 10.1177/0265407519826345.
2Greenwood, D. N., & Long, C. R. (2011). Attachment, belongingness needs, and relationship status predict imagined intimacy with media figures. Communication Research, 38(2), 278-297. doi: 10.1177/0093650210362687.
Hello! As I read this I couldn't help but think of my own self and how much I become invested into TV shows, specifically Spanish soap-operas (TeleNovelas). There have been times where I have caught myself being more invested into the relationships between the fictional characters than of my own!
ReplyDeleteWhat you said about TV Shows being a refuge because of their predictability, is something I see in my personal life as well. It is very easy to re-watch episodes or scenes where you can find comfortability in your emotions. I know that at times I tend to only watch the part of the soap-opera where the main characters are happy with each other. It seems to be some type of "band-aid" for facing conflict. You might not have to experience painful or saddening emotions, if you construct a barrier where only happiness and comfortability is available.
It is important to remember however, that pain is necessary for growth. Furthermore, it is important to find the good balance between reality and fiction. While binge-watching TV Shows can sometimes be an act of de-stressing from reality; it is important to never forget that it exists, and to place the same energy in our everyday relationships.
Thank you!
I loved reading this post as I felt like I could completely relate to the topic. I am somebody who becomes totally engulfed in the TV shows I'm watching and find that when I'm in the middle of a series, my whole life is structured around watching it. I wake up in the morning and think about when I can hop onto my computer and resume the next episode, it's actually pretty sad. I've recently gotten into Station 19, a spin-off series of Grey's Anatomy - almost exactly like Grey's Anatomy, but with firefighters. The show is so dramatic and I find myself rooting for characters to get into relationships and even crying over the death of a fictional character.
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to me how you mentioned that those with insecure attachment styles are more prone to these feelings with fictional characters - which makes so much sense. I would say I have an insecure attachment style, as I struggle with self-esteem and watching these TV shows gives me a sense of comfort.
I really enjoyed reading your post! I feel this is a topic everyone can relate to. I tend to get really invested in TV shows, especially through the characters. I didn't put together that our favorite character is represented by struggles we have with real-life relationships but it makes sense. This makes me wonder and really think about how my favorite characters from TV shows that I watch and how I am may be represented in them. Next time I watch my favorite show I am going to try to connect the two by doing this. I feel I am going to be even more invested in the show. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis post immediately caught my eye. After reading, I loved how much I was able to relate to this and tie what I learned about attachment into my personal life. I tend to fixate on characters in both television series and movies. It wasn't until you pointed it out, that I realized a pattern in the characters I obsess over. I loved what you said about how our feelings towards a character may be compensating for a lack of that relationship quality in our real lives. An example of this in my experience is how much I love Chandler Bing from the sitcom Friends. Throughout the show, I enjoyed his character development and resonated with some of his qualities. He is goofy and genuine, something I am constantly seeking in a romantic partner. This post opened my eyes to the reasoning behind all of this. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhat grabbed my attention initially was when you said, "Our brain, according to one research study, has not evolved enough to determine the difference between fiction and reality while watching media". That is not only shocking, but scary to learn about ourselves. I am lucky enough to label myself with a "secure" attachment style, so maybe I have not experienced this as much as others. Going off of that, the second statement that stood out to me was, "Individuals high on loneliness and a need for belonging were more likely to experience a deeper intimacy and emotional connection with their favorite TV character". While this makes complete sense, I have a hard time relating to that level of loneliness, and it makes me sad for the people out there who experience this.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post! My initial reaction after reading was a realization that I fit in with the evidence you provided and I watch more T.V. when I am in states of feeling lonely. I also tend to go for T.V. shows that are my "comfort shows" that I have seen multiple times. The concept that our brains seek secure attachment in times of distress, whether it is through a real person or a fictional character, is really fascinating. I would be interested to take this idea further to fictional characters in books. Additionally, when reading there is a lot more detail in the structure of the plot and character development, so I wonder if our brains could create an even deeper attachment to characters in books than in T.V. shows or movies.
ReplyDeleteHello! Your post really caught my attention. While I was reading, I kept comparing myself to post and realized I too get very involved with television shows. There are times that a character dies and I can't help but cry and wheep for that character. I get extremely attached and emotional. A great example was when I was watching Naruto and Azuma died, I cried for hours, my family would tell me "quit being a baby, it's just a show it's not real." Atleast know I know it is because I have insecure attachments, which explains so much!
ReplyDeleteI also love reading comics on my phone, I will stay up till one or two in the morning just reading comics and not being able to put it down. I wonder if comics and books are the same as watching movies and TV shows? Also does the genre of what you watch impact the kind of attachment style you are? Such as reading romance or horror. Please let me know I am very intrested!
Thank you!
What an interesting concept! I found this post especially intriguing to me because I tend to almost live through my favorite tv characters. When the show ends, I feel like I hit a wall at the end of a tunnel. A feeling of "Ok so now what do I do" when I can't live through them anyone. The interesting part for me is that I feel as if I do not have an insecure attachment style, I am very happy in my relationship with my significant other and with my family, so I find it interesting how attached I still feel to these characters that don't even know that I exist. Even as a secure attachment style type of girl, I still start to feel insecure due to some of the unrealistic expectations of love in tv shows and movies that I watch.
ReplyDeleteGreat post again,
Liz Marshall
Hello! This blog really caught my attention and I feel like I can connect with your concept. There have been different shows and movies that I get attached to a certain character and if something bad happens to them I feel really sad. I put myself in their shoes and try to understand their emotions and feelings. I also really connected when you had mentioned that we feel attached to a character because they are predictable and safe. I will watch the same movie(s) over and over again because I know what's going to happen next so I don't need to give it my full attention. It feels safe for me to re-watch a movie or even television show because I know what happens next and I know how each character feels. Thank you for your great post!
ReplyDeleteJordan Haberkorn
I thought it was a very interesting point and something I did not know when you said that our brain has not evolved enough to determine the difference between fiction and reality while watching media. I do agree that we all can often become attached to different fictional television characters but I did not know that our brain often cannot differentiate this from reality. I do respectfully disagree with the notion that intimacy towards a fictional character is safe and predictable because television shows and characters often throw us for major loops. One personal example of this is Theon Greyjoy who personally I hated in the first few seasons of Game of Thrones. He eventually changed his character arch and ended as one of my favorite characters in the series.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a very interesting concept. I too have seen how attached I get to television characters. I think it is very interesting how you connected this to attachment styles. I also like that you talked about how we may be attached to these characters due to the fact that they are safe and predictable. I my self have started to predict not only the characters actions but their feelings. This is a very interesting concept and very well written. Thank you for sharing this.
This was very interesting as I have never once thought about connecting my interest with tv characters to an attachment, even more an insecure attachment. However, it made complete sense. I instantly started thinking about the tv characters I have become attached with and feel their emotions with them. I then thought about my personal life and relationships. Now I am starting to believe I lie between insecure and secure attachments. I am definitely going to be comparing my attachment with characters on tv now. Awesome blog post and very interesting concept.
ReplyDeleteAshlee, it was crazy to hear that our brains are actually unable to distinguish between fiction and reality while watching media! It makes me feel just a little less silly when I laugh out loud or drop a few tears about my favorite shows. It was also interesting to read about how the escape of reality is utilized by insecure attachment folks. But I can relate to this also—sometimes I use television as an avoidance technique for stress or negative emotion, or to cope. I also can relate to the note about predictability of characters. It sometimes tangibly feels safe or comforting to re-watch a familiar plot line. Or recall a joke or scene that we have seen ten times. This is very interesting. I did not think about the depth of attachment lines throughout TV shows… I thought I chose TV as a coping mechanism because it felt so far from reality, and because I could check out and not think about my own world for a while. It is interesting the way that the realities can really overlap psychologically!
ReplyDeleteAshlee, first off I would like to mention how I was instantly gravitated towards your post. As I was scrolling through, the topic of your choice was a great one to do. I really enjoy how you related watching TV to attachment styles. When putting it into a greater perspective, I can personally say in my own personal life how when I become stressed, frustrated or upset, I too turn to TV. TV for me allows me to get my mind of my own issues, and focus on something else. What really stood out to me is how you also mentioned how our brains cannot distinguish fiction and reality when watching TV. I think we as a humanity have really relied on TV for many things, and it makes me wonder how much of what I watch is real versus fake. I often times will take certain things from TV shows and relate it to real life. After reading this, I am now unsure as to what I should and should not relate to my personal life. Overall, this was s super interesting topic, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI feel that I relate to your friend. I find myself to also get excited with how various plots of TV shows or romantic movies work out, with the two main characters falling for each other. I also find myself asking, “why don’t I have that?”, or wondering why I have yet to find/be in a committed and serious relationship. I also agree that I find myself being able to predict the characters feelings and actions as I become more invested in the TV show or movie, which I do think really illustrates how we as humans have a very high need for belonging, and connections with others. I think that this also illustrates how important human relations are, as the connections that we have with others are beneficial to healthy and happy lifestyles.
Hello Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post and it was very interesting in a way that I guess I have not thought about for myself. I would place myself within this exact category at times, so maybe I do have an insecure attachment when it comes to romantic relationships. I say this because from your blog you mentioned your friend saying how she watches the show multiple times and loves how some of the plots and characters are. I could say the same for myself where I sometimes invest myself in a show thinking “why can't that be me?” too.
Thank you for sharing!
Hello Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI think what you wrote about was very interesting. I never thought to think about how tv characters can play a role in attachment. I do agree that as I watch a show I get invested in their life and how they are able to deal with things. Although it does make sense, I never thought that watching tv or movies can be a way to avoid our own relationships. This shows me how my friend is able to escape she also has an insecure attachment and it was interesting to see how tv can play a role in her life.
Hi Ashlee!
ReplyDeleteWow, excellent post. I absolutely love how you addressed such a unique and interesting topic that I often felt I was all alone in! I often joke around with my friends and family about my "comfort shows". These are shows I'll watch over and over again because I feel so attached to the characters and I don't experience anxiety because I already know what to expect. These characters are predictable and especially during COVID, I've taken great comfort in that. With this being said, I appreciate your suggestion of mindfulness and I think that's something I will definitely try to incorporate more of as I go on– especially as COVID loosens up and we return back to our typical social interactions. Overall, great work and what an interesting concept.
Hey Ashlee, I really enjoyed your post regarding how we might get attached to fictional characters we see on Tv and movies. I feel like television show and movies are structured in a way that represent our expectations and needs. I can relate with your friend because I have so many shows where I feel very connected to a character. Like I want to be in her shoes, live the life that she is living and so on. I do also can predict what will happen with that character and get so emotionally invested especially when it’s a romantic show where they are finding the love of their life and get treated like queens. I always ask myself, why can’t that be me, but I do take a step back to acknowledge that it is not real life, that doesn’t usually happen. But I am not complaining those show and movies do help to bring me conform when I just want to distract myself from my reality.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post. I can definitely relate this to my life as I get attached characters way too often. It often feels as though the show is not as enjoyable if I am not attached to a character. Whether it is a cute boy in the show that I find myself attached to or a character that I can relate to, I find one in almost every show. It was interesting how avoidance attachment makes this more likely. I often use TV to escape from life or to chill out when I am stressed, so it makes sense if someone feels like this in their attachment style, they will latch on to characters more!
Hi Ashlee, I am so impressed by your insight on all of your posts! I am absolutely attached to TV characters and I did not even know it. Even further, as you mentioned briefly, I really enjoy re-watching my favorite TV shows because of their predictability. It brings me and my anxious attachment style comfort to know exactly what is going to happen next–no surprises (unlike real life). Additionally, I might sound crazy, but sometimes my attachment to the characters of a show becomes so strong that I actually miss the characters after I finish watching. I had no idea that I really even did this, so I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention so I can be more aware of it in the future. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee, I loved reading your blog! I definitely related to re-watching tv shows because they feel safe. I also related to your point about how sometimes people’s comfort character or TV show can happen because people in real life do not feel safe. I have an insecure attachment style and I have found myself re-watching certain shows or even YouTube videos. This happens more when I am having a hard time or if I’m stressed. I think that the predictability of it is calming for me. My sister does a similar thing, she works a very stressful job so once she’s done for the day, she finds comfort in TV shows. She gets very involved in them and talks about them a lot.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an interesting topic to read about. I really enjoyed reading this blog! I could definitely see people attaching maybe too much to fictional characters. For me, I know growing up I attached a lot to specific characters or to my stuffed animals. I am not sure that this was due to insecure attachment though. However, I related a lot to the interviewee and their discussion on romantic movies. I think I connect a lot with romantic movies, and I also wonder why I do not experience such things in my life. I think this specifically has affected my attachment style as I expect more grand gestures than is probably likely to happen. I think these movies tend to put unrealistic expectations in my mind.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a unique and interesting topic that gave me a lot to think about regarding my own attachment! I enjoyed reading about something that I have experienced without ever realizing I had been experiencing it, or how common of an experience it is to have. I have absolutely found myself becoming attached to fictional characters, as I grieve their loss and empathize with them in a similar way that I would with an acquaintance in real life. Perhaps this happens since you spend so much time viewing their life through their lens, which mimics the experience of spending a lot of time with someone and getting to know them very intimately.
ReplyDeleteHello Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI found your post really interesting that I related immediately. Knowing this is something I do when starting a new series, movie, or book I fall in love with the character I would reread or re-watch the show over and over. I notice that I get so inverted to a point where I am so invested in these fictional characters' lives more than I'm in mine. Especially if problems in my life are out of control, I find myself connecting more with a character to forget my problems and focus my energy on what happens next in the series. It does get to a point where their anger is my anger, and their happiness also becomes mine as well.
Hi Ashlee, I enjoyed reading your post because I have found myself becoming attached to the characters in shows that I am binge watching. I have an insecure attachment style but do not think it has a huge negative affect on me when I watch shows. Grey’s Anatomy was especially difficult for me to watch but it was my favorite show. Various important characters who I had grown to love died, and I cried every time. It felt very real almost like I had known the person, but I think that is just me being emotional. Instead, I remind myself that it is fake and move on. However, I do see how becoming attached to fictional characters can be problematic.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee, I really liked your blog post. I thought that it was a fun change of pace, and I like that it covered a unique topic that we did not cover in class. I think many of us can relate to this to some extent. My sister Laura, loves anime characters. She gets very invested in their character arcs, but also who they “are” as a whole character. Laura has had many crushes on these characters, even though they cannot love her back. This is especially interesting because she has had no crushes on real people she has known. I do not know what her attachment style is. Regardless of how we may view her attachments to TV characters, if she is satisfied, then I am happy for her no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI find myself relating and attaching myself to my TV shows very frequently. I’m currently in a securely attached relationship and we rarely experience conflict or hardship. I do not have very many friends, though. When you said people with higher loneliness scores that’s when my attactchmemnt to TV characters started to make more sense. I frequently find myself becoming fond of characters and I feel as if I can understand them and empathize. When actors look into the camera longingly, I stare right back at them. My favorite part of the day is getting home from school, work, and general stress and tossing on whatever show I’m watching. It feels really good to connect to those characters because it’s an escape from the stress of the day and it’s my favorite form of self care.
ReplyDeleteAs someone with an anxious attachment style, I definitely use TV as a source of escaping from reality. I would rather distract my mind and be watching someone else going through a variety of different situations, than deal with my own problems. I also agree that living vicariously through characters is another way in which I distract myself. Like your friend, whenever I watch a Romantic movie, I always think to myself “why can’t men be like this in real life,” or “why can’t something like this happen to me.” Not to say that chivalry is dead, but a lot of times I feel like TV portrays love and relationships in this euphoric idealic way, but, most of those things are not realistic and make me set my expectations in a relationship way too high. Then again, I also think to myself that my expectations are not high enough and that I do deserve a love like we see in the movies.
ReplyDeleteI found this blog post very insightful when referring to attachment styles. I have found myself in the past to engage in specific TV characters in shows or movies I watch. I think that in this case I find a connection with that individual as a result of relating their behaviors or actions to my own life. I think that it is interesting how the roles of TV characters can influence our feelings about them even if it is not relevant to that individual. I have never thought about how our attachment style can be seen through characters in movies or TV shows until reading this post. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interesting topic, thanks for sharing your findings! I find that I also get attached to the characters and am always so invested in a show that I love. I also have found that when characters start to go rogue or do something that they normally wouldn’t I often turn away and don’t watch that show as avidly as I once did. For me the two shows that I watch on repeat are Friends and New Girl, which are both similar shows and both have the predictability aspect to them. I love these shows because even when I was first watching them I could kind of tell what was going to happen. With a generally anxious attachment style I often found myself pining after the relationships of the characters that were healthy and happy. The idea of happily ever after, even when the couple has gone through a lot is something that I feel so many are still holding on to.
ReplyDeleteI am really glad that someone chose to address this topic because I can relate far too well! I have had the same favorite TV show for years and realized how much I have become attached to the characters in the show. The TV show The Vampire Diaries has been a form of comfort and a way to destress after a long day for such a long time. When my family members ask me, “Why do you still watch that? Can’t you give something else a try?” it makes me realize how time and time again I have relied on this show to relieve my emotional distress. I find that I am able to relate to some of the characters even though the show is far from realistic. I also sometimes feel like I am able to empathize with the characters as well. Now that I think of it, I have noticed that I tend to run back to this show whenever I am feeling disconnected from people around me and am searching for a way to feel something. I am not sure if this is healthy or not but I love watching this show and don’t think I will stop anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteBeing attached to characters in television shows wasn’t something that I really put any thought into, and maybe that’s because I don’t really find myself becoming attached to a character. Although there are shows that I love to rewatch, I don’t really see someone who represents me – not how I look or act, but my aspirations and the effort that I put into my work. The closest that I may have gotten was with a character in a book, but there was so much fantasy and magic that I knew it wasn't true. It might just be that the shows that everyone seems to watch is about hooking up and affairs, not something that I do or could see myself doing.
ReplyDeleteI totally see how our brains are not evolved enough to understand the difference between real and imaginary while watching TV; but I sometimes get so wrapped up in the characters, people have to snap me out of it. For example, I was watching a movie with my family one night, and at the end of the film I said, “Sandra Bullock seems like such a great person” and my brother immediately rebutted and said, “you don’t even know her, you only see her as a character on screen.” It is so interesting to learn that sometimes, for people who are insecurely-attached, who struggle with the reality of their relationships, turn to the media to try and fulfill these needs. I wonder if this case is similar to those who get emotional during scenes in movies like The Notebook, where they get so engaged with the characters, they live vicariously through them.
ReplyDeleteHey Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about this the other day when I was watching a movie. I got so invested in this character in this movie, that I was feeling what this character was feeling. I was feeling her pain, her laugh, her love, and her struggles. Sometimes I will catch myself yelling at the movie character as if they could hear me. I totally agree that I do catch myself living vicariously through character in a tv show. I agree that I do need to find a balance of being present my relationship and rooting for the characters in the movies. I really related to your post! Great job!
Hi Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post; I think that it had many things that I connected to and thought it was important that you brought up. I personally feel that many people depend on tv shows as a source of relaxation. When you brought up the point about how our brains don’t understand fiction and reality, I think that it becomes an issue when you become so invested in a tv show. I thought it was important when you brought up parts about how you might start developing a connection with a character because they need the checklist you have for a partner. My friends and I definitely have found ourselves looking at characters as a “perfect match” because of who their character was in the show or movie, but then we think about who they actually are in real life. Overall, I believe that you brought up excellent points because it is very accurate that people do fall for a character in their tv show or a movie.
I have definitely noticed that I am attached to certain TV characters. When I am really overwhelmed emotionally I love to watch the Harry Potter movies and they have been my comfort movies for as long as I can remember. I also have a friend who always suggests watching the Simpsons movie because she is attached to all of the characters in the movie. I think for a lot of people movies and TV are the best way to escape reality because we can focus on the characters' lives rather than our own lives. This post was really interesting and a great read.
ReplyDeleteI am very attached to many different TV characters from a lot of different shows. From Spongebob to Bones or Greys Anatomy, I have cried about many fictional characters' deaths, partings, and overall just life events. It never occurred to me that my attachment to certain TV show characters could be influenced by my attachment style to real people. Personally, I thought the feelings I felt were due to me being a generally more sensitive and emotional person. I feel a lot better reading everyone’s comments about the TV show characters they love and feel attached to, it makes me feel a bit more normal and less like an emotional wreck!
ReplyDeleteHello Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI was so intrigued by your post due to my high level of TV activity and I am so happy I was able to read this! I definitely am attached to some TV characters. I think that attachment is related to the way I would like my relationships in my life to look. For example, I love Friends and all of the characters, this may be because I want friendships later in life to look like theirs and to have a close knit group of friends like them. I have cried, laughed and attached to certain characters which I never thought about on a deeper level. I think that this post was extremely interesting and I thank you for posting this.
Hey Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI was really amazed by your blog and how it talks about being intrigued by tv characters. when talking about the heightened intimacy we can feel towards a character in the media may be because they are safe and predictable, unlike people in real-life it made a lot of sense to me. I have grown up watching anime, and just like the blog says I was attracted to the characters that were relatable to me. This was because I could relate with what their reactions would be like, finding myself in these characters made me like them more.
I can really relate to the ideas in this blog post. I view myself as having an insecure attachment style, and also find myself becoming overly involved and attached to characters in movies and television. I find it to be easier and safer to connect to characters compared to people in real life. I often find myself rewatching shows that I have watched for years. Knowing what is going to happen and being able to experience emotions without the causes being a surprise is comforting to me. When experiencing emotions with others in real life, they can be overwhelming and disruptive even when they are positive. That doesn't happen when I am connecting to characters.
ReplyDeleteHello! I loved reading this post, and I was able to really relate. I am someone who uses television as an escape from reality. It allows me to feel distracted and enter a “fantasy land”. I become very attached to characters and actors and find myself over connected with them. I typically only enjoy shows where I feel attached to specific characters, otherwise I don't continue watching. After reading your post, I realized how my attachment to television characters reflects my attachment style. I think my insecure attachment style emphasizes my desire to deeply connect with television characters and feel a sense of belonging.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing!
Ever since I was in middle school I was always the type of person to get overly attached to characters and to be extremely devoted to different fandoms. I never really took the time to think about it and to realize that it was a real attachment. However after reading this blog it really opened my eyes and made me realize that our brains aren’t able to detect the differences between characters in real people in the sense of attachments. Which makes sense and I now feel more validated every time I cry when supernatural kills off my favorite character for the 15th time.
ReplyDeleteWow- this article felt like it was made for me, mostly middle school me. There was a part in the article that mentioned that when we don't feel fulfilled in our daily relationships, we may turn to media to get that fulfillment. As someone that has been there I can say it was really hard to get out of that zone. I remember reading fan fiction all day, or watching youtube videos they would make about couples on tv and be so enamored. I would often wonder what was going wrong in my life. This stopped me from seeking individuals for years because I knew that I would find that fulfillment online. Now I am in a real-life relationship and often find myself not nearly invested in the online world. I practice mindfulness and try to spend face-to-face time with my partner. I don't find myself drawn to the couples online because I am getting what I need in my physical relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt made me feel a lot better to know that it is normal for individuals to become overly engaged with characters in the TV shows that they are watching, because that happens to me all of the time. When I am watching a long TV show, it is hard not to get attached to certain characters and share their pain and accomplishments from the comfort of my home. I think that it is interesting that it is related to having an insecure attachment style, since I have never thought of myself to identify in this category of attachment. However, after reading that higher levels of loneliness can predict the level of connection with a TV character, I can reflect that a lot of the times where I am feeling the most alone, I watch more TV to compensate for those feelings.
ReplyDeleteTV shows are just that, shows. They are not real and can give a fake example of love or relationships. People might ask themselves,”why is my relationship not like theirs?” But they are comparing it to a TV couple. It is just not realistic. This can make someone feel an insecure attachment style because you might overthink your relationship versus theirs. It might make it hard to find someone when you base so much of relationships on fake movie/television relationships. To have secure attachment style, you focus on your own relationship and making it better, not by comparing it to unrealistic relationship standards.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee!
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to your post about being attached to TV characters. I very often find myself getting so invested in shows that I am feeling the things my favorite characters are feeling throughout the series. I also think that getting too involved in these fictional characters lives can be harmful to our real-life personal relationships. I think that most TV shows portray unrealistic expectations about relationships that can make us feel like our perfectly good relationships aren’t good enough. I remember watching an episode of Friends and it was the one where Rachel found out that Ross cheated on her, I felt rage and I was upset for her. I remember looking back and thinking that that was so silly, but it is reassuring to know that others feel this too!
I think that it makes sense why people may get attached to a character on their favorite show because of how easy it is to access the shows. Things like Netflix and Hulu have developed and make it to where you can binge watch an entire show for however long you want. I think that this easy access can also make it really easy for children to become attached to their TV shows, especially with the lack of social connection that children have now because of COVID19. I think that it is okay to become attached to a show, just like how a child becomes attached to their favorite toy; it is about comfort.
ReplyDeleteThe title of this blog post really grabbed my attention and I am glad I read it. I really enjoyed reading this post. I thought it was very interesting to connect TV shows to our attachments and how connected we get. I am definitely one of those people that gets drawn into a TV show and really feels for the characters. It is interesting to me how it can feel like you are in the show and like you know the people. This is a very interesting concept and I am interested to see if there is more research on this idea.
ReplyDeleteWhen first coming across this article, I was interested in the idea that we can possibly become attached to our favorite TV characters. I watch a lot of TV in my free time, and even find myself playing the TV as background noise as I do things around the house. While reading through this article, I found a lot of the research to be interesting, and I was able to relate to a few of the research findings. Specifically, I could relate to the idea that people live vicariously through characters on their favorite shows and that we are not able to differentiate between what is real and what is no while watching TV. Much like the friend interviewed in this article, I feel a sense of attachment and happiness after watching my favorite characters on my favorite shows.
ReplyDeleteI relate to this blog post a lot. I never realized how attachment styles can be connected to fictional characters. I have watched a movie or show and really fallen in love with the character. I found it very interesting how people with insecure attachments have more conflict in their relationships and tend to be lonelier and how they are more emotionally attached to fictional characters in the tv rather than people in real life. It makes sense to me because when I'm feeling lonely, I watch TV, and people with insecure attachment styles tend to not trust their partners or be able to open up so living vicariously through tv may be easier for them.
ReplyDeleteTv characters are for our entertainment which is a good idea to correlate this towards attachment styles and why we love specific characters and their traits. I do as an insecure attachment style needs a sense of belonging and I find myself looking for characters in the media that I feel would be in my safe space. For instance, I love Selena Gomez because she would accept me for me and not influence negative emotions towards me. I look for people like her through tv, music, and social media because she brings an emotional connection I know that would not disappoint me.
ReplyDeleteTv shows for me are a sort of escape from my own life. Becoming attached to a tv character, and beginning to compare myself to that character comes really easy to me. I find myself always clinging to characters who have insecure attachment, and to my own life I feel as I connect to those characters as I deal with conflict in relationships and a difficulty in being at a good level within my self esteem. I am able to connect with these characters and relate situations in my life and experiences they have had to feel a sort of comfort, I think that being attached to tv characters is good, its an escape and mindfulness activity as the blog had mentioned.
ReplyDeletemy favorite shows. It can be so easy to get sucked into the lives of our favorite characters, but it is so important to remind ourselves that what is seen on TV is not reality. Personally, I do not watch a lot of TV due to the fact it gives a false sense of reality, yet I have friends who live for their favorite shows. It is friends such as these that I have also noticed have more of an insecure attachment style. They tend to set unrealistic ideals for their desired relationship and this can make it frustrating from my perspective. Having standards is one thing, but I think comparing all of your relationships to Rachel and Ross or Monica and Chandler can do more damage than good.
ReplyDeleteI love the topic you picked for this post, it is very intriguing. This is fascinating to think about how your attachment styles can influence your engagement with TV shows and movies. The idea is that we might project our attachment needs onto fictional characters. I have known people who become deeply connected to TV characters. I believe that people become attached to characters that support the needs they have. One of my friends became very attached and drawn to a character with a strong, reliable, and comforting sense to them. This behavior shows they are using characters as a comforting escape from their own uncertainties and challenges of real life. I think many of us have become emotionally attached or invested in media as a form of escapism or to fulfill needs at one point or another in our lives.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting topic! I've never considered that it's possible for people to get attached to fictional people like TV Characters. I have also felt a strong emotional connection to the characters in my favorite shows and movies like your friend described. I often find ways to relate the things that I am experiencing in my life to the experiences of the characters in my favorite show, which can be both advantageous and harmful. Sometimes, relating to the characters makes me feel less alone. Other times, I grow resentful if their situation turns out one way and my situation turns out another. Overall, I think it's important to have personal boundaries so that TV remains a positive leisure activity without interfering with a person's perceptions of their real life.
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