Before I was even enrolled at a university, I had heard
countless stereotypes about college. My friends’ older siblings told us
wide-eyed high schoolers about the crazy parties, casual sex, and freedom
living on your own. We believed every word; we were so excited to not have a
curfew and explore our independence during college. What is the truth behind
hook-up culture in college? Is casual sex all that it’s made out to be in
movies, TV shows, and from crazy stories told by older friends? After
interviewing two individuals about casual sex in college and digging into
current research, it became even more clear that casual sex is not all that our
older friends described it to be; there is a wide variety of reasoning and
motivations behind college students engaging in casual sex with others.
I chose to talk to two students: one who engages in casual
sex and one who does not. The student who does not engage in casual sex listed
a few reasons as to why she finds the culture harmful for students, especially
young women.
“I personally want to
engage in any sort of sexual behavior with someone that I really trust and
love,” she explained. “I feel like
as a heterosexual, college-aged woman, casual sex can really only lead to
heartbreak.” She revealed that learning about the emotional attachment that
women can associate with sex worried her about hooking up with someone that she
did not truly care about. Hook-up culture also seemed dangerous to her, as
casual sex could lead to sexually transmitted infections or unplanned
pregnancy. Lastly, she noted that there is a stigma and double standard between
men and women regarding casual sex. Women are often perceived as promiscuous
and portrayed negatively, whereas men are praised for sexual endeavors,
especially in college.
The student who chooses to participate in casual sex
portrayed hook-up culture in a more empowering manner. She described her
experiences with hook-ups in college as positive because she made the decision
to engage in sexual behaviors with her partners and felt as though she had the
freedom to do so. She mentioned that “casual
sex is only harmful if two partners’ intentions do not match up”, one example
being if one partner wants to pursue an exclusive relationship and the other
does not. Because she uses open communication before and after casual sex, she
said that the worries of casual sex usually do not cross her mind. She is not
afraid to discuss STIs or using contraceptives, and she admitted that casual
sex might not be as enjoyable without this aspect of open communication.
What does research tell us about casual sex? First, a study
conducted with college students revealed that almost an exact number of men and
women reported having casual sex in the past year1. However, the
study examined the factors that might go into a college hook-up including
alcohol, attachment, emotional reactions, religiosity, and family environment1.
The study found that the majority of women in their study did not have a
positive attitude about hooking up because of feeling let down or having too
high of expectations, and many women expressed that their peers had negative
attitudes towards women who were consistently having casual sex1.
Also, students who had an insecure attachment style often had fewer positive
encounters with casual sex, as their emotional and security needs were not met
by their partner1. Men reported higher rates of positive
psychological experiences, as well as students who had not considered peer
stereotypes and negative emotions surrounding casual sex1.
Another study indicated attachment styles are the most
important aspect of a college hook-up; the psychosocial factors associated with
casual sexual encounters were more obvious in those with anxious or avoidant
attachment styles2. Participants in the study who showed signs of
insecure attachment displayed symptoms of distress and consumed higher amounts
of alcohol before, during, and after hook-ups2. However, the main
conclusions around college hook-up culture were surrounding the commonality
between college students. All college students have similar risk and protective
factors surrounding hook-ups, between religiosity, alcohol, attachment style,
and depressive symptoms2.
All in all, choosing to participate in hook-up culture
should be entirely based on individual decision. However, a person’s attachment
style and risk and protective factors surrounding a sexual encounter can
greatly impact a hook-up. College students are participating in casual sex, but
the psychological impacts of casual sex vary based on attachment style and
previous attitudes in sex. There is clearly no right or wrong way to engage (or
not engage) in casual sex, proven by the research studies above. Casual sex may
not be for everyone, but there is value in learning about the trends and
educating yourself on the implications of casual sex, even if you are
personally not engaging in it.
1Owen, J., Rhoades, G., Stanley, S., and Fincham,
F. (2010). “Hooking up” among college students: Demographic and psychosocial
correlates. Archives of Sexual Behavior,
39(3), 653-663.
2Manthos, M., Owen, J., and Fincham, F. D.
(2014). A new perspective on hooking up among college students: Sexual behavior
as a function of distinct groups. Journal
of Social & Personal Relationships, 31(6), 815-829.
Merci, I really enjoyed reading your post. As a young girl, I remember thinking about casual sex and thinking about how scary it was. Would it make me feel vulnerable? Ashamed? Growing up in a catholic household, I really did not know how to feel about hook-up culture and all the stigmas surrounding it.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am a lot older, my perception surrounding this topic has changed. I agree with the second student you chose to interview; casual sex can be very empowering! Before I got in a relationship with my significant other, I was very open to casual sex and having an open conversation about it with previous partners was never an issue. As long as things were comfortable and consensual, I never saw a problem with it. Although I do understand how casual sex could be harmful to an individual; when it comes down to it, it all depends on the individual themselves.
It is very interesting hearing other peoples opinions on this topic because casual sex has been a very taboo subject for quite some time.
I loved this post! I agreed with both opinions on casual sex for different reasons. Having grown up in a religious household, I was taught that sexual encounters should be between you and your spouse. However, I feel that the “waiting for marriage” perspective is waning with our generation. Like the second girl, I agree that engaging in consensual casual sex is empowering and can be an opportunity for people to explore their sexuality without the emotional and physical stressors that come with engaging in a long-term relationship. I think it is important for people to realize that their intentions may not always match up with the other individual; or to recognize that someone else’s intentions can change quickly, especially in a casual setting.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with this post because as a freshman I personally thought I was so sexually liberated. I had entered college fresh out of a 2 year high school relationship and was ready to do whatever I wanted (staying safe, of course) but 'sex positive' attitudes made me feel even more objectified towards the end of freshman year. I still hold the strong belief that people should be able to do what they want with their bodies, but sometimes random hook-ups are used as coping mechanisms when dealing with emotional turmoil, which is not healthy. MY perception for myself (I'm a senior now) has changed, and I personally don't enjoy hooking up anymore. I have to feel at least an emotional connection or "vibe" between me and the person, and get a good feel for their energy. Giving myself to people who didn't have good intentions or energy just really messed with me internally and I felt more empty than liberated. I love discussing this topic because everyone has different experiences.
ReplyDeleteMerci, thanks for sharing your discussions with these two students. I think that it is probably true that casual sex can effect one person more than another. I disagree, however, that no type of casual sex is right or wrong. I think, as human beings, we are made for more. It is incredibly difficult to argue that casual sex is anything more than use. Without a genuine care for the good and well-being of the other person, sex is nothing more than using that person for their body. It does not matter what reasons a person engages in casual sex, or whether they find it healthy or empowering for women. The reality is that both men and women who engage in casual sex are being used for little more than their body. Maybe it's true that some people are okay with this--being used by a stranger is not a big deal to them. But it is my belief that we are all made for more than this. We are made for love. And loving another person means willing their good and sacrificing for them--it is never use; it is never merely about physical or emotional pleasure. How much more loved would people feel if they someone told them that they love and respect them too much to use their body for their own pleasure? I appreciate you writing this blog post so that we can open up the conversation, however, I strongly believe that the hook-up culture that college promises is one of the biggest reasons that so many students feel alone, misunderstood, and unloved.
ReplyDeleteThis article offers clear-cut examples of the pros and cons about casual sex in college. It was easy for me to relate to the article because I had a previous roommate who had a pretty large sex drive. She frequently talked about her NEED for a one night stand and that she did not want any strings attached, just affection. However, when she would get what she sought out for, she often ended up depressed. Although she would say she wanted detached sex, she would get depressed when the guy would not text her back. In her head, she would act as if she could handle it but her emotions would end up getting the bet of her in the long run. Her lack of personal understanding reflect the articles information on a potential anxious attachment style and supports the research that women often times have negative perceptions of themselves and the situation after choosing to partake in casual sex.
ReplyDeleteComing from someone who was introduced to the idea of casual sex from a very young age due to older siblings, this post was so incredibly applicable to my life. Thank you for writing such an insightful post Merci.
ReplyDeleteI was raised to be extremely religious due to my mother’s Hispanic ethnicity therefore casual sex has never been something that was tolerated in my household growing up. Personally, I never saw the issue with it; as long as there was clear and open communication and proper protective procedures were taken into effect.
After coming to college; I couldn’t believe how real the idea of “double standards” were. Even though sex involves two people (in this scenario I’m referring to a heterosexual couple), it was ridiculous that while the man in the encounter was praised for his efforts, women experienced shame and ridicule for their engagement. No matter how hard women fight for equality, I don’t believe that casual sex will ever be something that society will praise women for. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing in the grand scheme of things (that’s open to interpretation), it does inevitably impact the activities that females engage in and alter their mental states.
Another thing that I have noticed about college campuses and their associated environments is that with due to the casual nature of relationships in our current society; individuals seems unable to develop deeper emotions or respect for the individual that they are having sex with and therefore are less likely to engage in romantic relationships.
My sister and her husband, my parents, all of my friends’ parents…they all met in college. I constantly wonder what the new “norm” will become if people stop meeting their significant others in college because they’re simply unable to express a deeper connection and would rather keep it casual for an extended amount of time.
I loved reading this. It was very interesting to see it from both perspectives and to read the research done on it.
ReplyDeleteI personally engage in casual sex and I have throughout college. In high school I had a few partners but they were "serious" relationships. I had always felt like I wanted to have sex with someone I loved but I was also very curious and wanted to experiment more once I got to college. One I was in college, I noticed no one seemed to care as much as we did in high school. Everyone was having sex and no one seemed to be judge mental. Tinder also started to become a major dating app when I first got to college so that was what I was utilizing.
The girl that was interviewed that did engage in casual sex said the same thing that I believe. Casual sex can be harmful and damaging when the intentions of both people are not the same. If someone is looking for a one night stand and the other person is looking for more of a friends with benefits situation, it will not work out well. I have been in those situations as someone who engages in casual sex but there are ways to work it out so that it isn't so damaging. I do not regret anything so far and I love all the experiences I have had.
As someone who has shifted from one side of the spectrum (no casual sex) to the other (casual sex) through college, this feels pretty accurate to my own experience. During high school, there was definitely a sense of the double-standard for men and women over sexual activity; I was still curious about sex, but I chose only to engage in it with the person I was dating--partially because I believed that the only outcomes to hookup culture were STIs, broken hearts, unplanned pregnancy, and trouble for years to come. After entering college, it actually felt very empowering to let go of the double standard and recognize that the open communication about wants/needs/desires during casual sex reduced a lot of the negatives. Allowing myself some sexual (and relational) freedom boosted my self-confidence and my self-image a ton. In the last couple years, it has even brought me to meet my now-fiance, who is also willing/happy to experiment within and outside the relationship (together), with in-depth open communication and understanding of one another's needs/hopes. As a pansexual person with little exploration with genders other than men (such as my fiance), it has been very satisfying within our relationship for both of us to have the ability to explore our interests together through casual sex.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, I know that this lifestyle is not for everyone, or for every person's attachment style. I can say that in high school, I had more of an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, which means I likely would not have flourished so well, as hookups are not fulfilling in all the ways a relationship are (and like the student that was interviewed, it seemed like it would be heartbreaking). After becoming more accepting/secure in my relationship style, I've been able to experiment more with casual sex, which I personally derive more benefits from than negatives, in my perspective.
I had also heard and percieved specific notions through the media and popular culture about the “college experience” and how common it was to hookup with a stranger. I loved that the author was able to structure her post around the experiences of both someone who does participate in casual sex, and one who does not. I felt that it was able to directly compare the parellels of their experiences, and allow the reader to interpret them on their own, potentially in comparison to their own encounters with casual sex. I agree that engaging in casual sex can feel liberating, especially when realizing the fact that no commitments are required out of either partner prior to the sexual interactions.
ReplyDeleteI decided to read your blog because this has been a topic that is very known now a days. Casual sex is becoming more popular by the minute! I love the way that you incorporated both sides of the issue. I can relate to the student who does not engage in casual sex because I don’t either. I feel like casual sex can be very complicated and one person can become attached even after just one night. I know a couple of my friends who have engaged in casual sex and afterwards they regret it because they can’t stop thinking about the guy while the guy is already having casual sex with another girl.
ReplyDeleteHello, Merci!
ReplyDeleteI have extremely conflicting views on hook-up culture and casual sex (but respect both sides, of course!). I think that hook-up culture can be harmful to young adults, but can also be beneficial for relieving stress or receiving pleasure. I completely agree with you second interviewee that casual sex is only harmful if two individuals hold conflicting intentions, which is often the issue with lack of communication in young adults or college students. It is interesting to read that women are more likely to hold negative views of hook-up culture because they are more likely to feel let down by lack of commitment or emotion. I, personally, feel this way!
The casual sex topic can be very controversial, even though I might agree with it being harmful especially with young college-aged women. Even though we might argue that we agree to just casual sex, I think sex can be very intimate and we try not to have it lead to something else or catch feelings but it typically does. College specifically can be a time when we are trying to figure out our independence and who we are outside of our family and even our home town, during these uncertainties it might be harder to just participate in casual sex without any strings attached. It brings me back to freshman year at CSU and wanting to connect with new people.
ReplyDeleteInvestigating the reality of casual sex or “hook-up culture” among college-aged students is conducted in this article by interviewing two different students. The student who avoids casual sex expresses concerns relating to emotional attachment, risks of sexually transmitted infections (STI), unplanned pregnancies, and the overall stigma surrounding women in hook-up culture. However, the student who engages in casual sex shared it is empowering and is based heavily on open communication and mutual consent. Interestingly the article states that women and men report similar rates of casual sex, but the psychological impacts differ heavily. I have a friend who struggles with the idea of casual sex due to the fear of getting an STI, not being “good” enough in bed, and fears that she will be left with feelings of regret and sadness. However, as we have aged she has become more open to the idea and is now more comfortable making informed decisions about approaching relationships in college. I admire her because boys have never been her priority and she has put so much time into her academic and personal careers.
ReplyDelete