When you start
dating a new person, everything about them is unbelievably exciting. Everything is so new, and even the littlest
of moments can give you the biggest butterflies. You want to spend as much time as possible
with your new boo! While new relationships are super exhilarating, it can
become challenging to balance your new love with your old relationships. I can speak from personal experience when I
say that it is very thrilling to get involved in a new relationship and neglect
the other important people in your life.
You are not alone in your struggle! It can be so easy to get caught up
in new relationships, and we’re here to give you some advice to navigate the
highs and lows of new relationships!
There are a lot of aspects of new
relationships that are hard to manage.
How often should you spend time with that person? How much is ok to
share with them right off the bat? Is it ok to have sex super early in the
relationship? These are some seriously
important questions to ask, which is why I decided to interview some of my
friends who have had a lot of experience in the relationship department. Some of these friends have had some seriously
rough experiences with boys and have now found themselves in super secure, strong
relationships. Others have witnessed a
lot of their friends experience rocky relationships in the past and have
learned a lot from their experiences.
Overall, this advice stems from their personal experience and may not
apply to everyone, however, they provided me with a lot of insight into these
challenging questions and I would love to share their thoughts with you!
Regulating the Beginning of a
Relationship
Out of all the answers that my friends
gave me when asked, “What advice do you have about regulating the beginning of
a relationship?”, the most common answer was to make sure you distribute your time and energy amongst
all other relationships. Some other answers included:
o
-Setting
boundaries and letting intentions
known for both parties known at the start of the relationship
o
-Remember
to not get consumed with the relationship
too fast
o
-Don’t
lose focus on everything else in your life, this is the fast track to losing
your sense of self and identity
Oversharing vs. Under-sharing
It can sometimes be super difficult to
know how much is acceptable to share with your new partner. You can either feel like your sharing your
deepest darkest secrets with them or not being vulnerable enough. When I asked my friends “What is your advice
in regards to how much to share with your partner at the beginning of a
relationship?”, they had diverse responses, some of which included:
o
-It
is important to get values across
right away, that way there is no misunderstanding about where you stand at the
beginning of the relationship
o
-Guard
your heart and share things about your life and experiences that you would be
willing to share with an acquaintance
o
-Don’t
go super in depth about your most painful experiences, as this may lead to a
lot more complications and heartbreak if relationship ends.
o
-Make
sure vulnerability and sharing is equal,
otherwise one partner may become more attached than the other
Including Sex in the Beginning of a
Relationship
The physical aspect of a relationship is
without a doubt an important aspect of relationships, however there has been a
lot of question regarding how necessary it is to engage in intimate physical
activities early in a relationship. When
I asked my friends “What are your thoughts about including sex in the beginning
of your relationship?”, they all had similar answers:
o
-It's
up to everyone individually but honestly it kind of makes sex the center of your relationship from an
early stage, which doesn't leave a lot of room to grow in other ways
o
-Including
sex in the beginning of a relationship would bring the focus of the
relationship too much on the physical
aspect of the relationship, rather than building a strong relationship
based on emotional and spiritual
connections
o
-Psychology
statistics will tell you that it leads to shorter
relationships because it leads to relationship being built off a physical
connection first.
After reflecting on this advice, I
think it is important to evaluate your relationship, if you are in one, and see
where things can improve. If you are not
in a relationship, I think it can be super helpful for future relationships to
think about how you would address these topics.
Like I said, this advice stems only from my friends personal experience
and does by no means apply to everyone, however, I hope this advice equipped
you with some helpful tips to navigating the beginning of a relationship!
