As we’ve talked about before on the blog, our attachment style can influence our drinking habits and alcohol use, which you can read about here:
But, many of us—particularly those of us who live in states where recreational or medical marijuana has been legalized—may be curious about the effects of our attachment style on marijuana use as it relates to our romantic relationships.
With drinking habits, the most significant increase in use is observed among those of us with anxious attachment styles, and it turns out that the same holds true for marijuana use. For those of us with anxious attachment styles who are already marijuana users, we are far more likely to demonstrate stress-attributed marijuana use.1 It is important to distinguish that having an anxious attachment style does not make you more likely to start using marijuana, but rather if a person with an anxious attachment style is already using marijuana, then they are far more likely to use it for the specific reason of relieving stress.1
This stress-attributed use is most dramatically related to relationship anxiety, which those of us with anxious attachment styles are much more likely to experience frequently.1 This makes those of us with an anxious attachment style far more likely to use marijuana as a coping mechanism to soothe our relationship anxiety when we have fears about abandonment or lack of closeness with our partners.1 More specifically, fear of abandonment, which is strongly associated with anxious attachment, appears to be one of the most significant predictors of marijuana use.1 Thus, when those of us who are anxiously attached begin to fear abandonment from a partner, we are much more likely to turn to alcohol or marijuana to cope.
I asked one anxiously attached friend about his experience with using marijuana to cope with relationship anxiety and he described the following:
“Sometimes when I just feel like we are on different wavelengths or we can’t seem to connect for whatever reason I get really freaked out about the state of our relationship. It can be normal, everyday communication stuff and I just get so scared that we won’t work it out and I’ll lose her, and then I get worried about being too clingy. Sometimes I’ll smoke [marijuana] just to clear my head and keep my mind from spinning so much.”
Interestingly, those of us that are avoidantly-attached do not demonstrate the same increase in substance and marijuana use as those of us that are anxiously-attached.1 Marijuana use is significantly correlated with fear of abandonment, and those of us with avoidant attachment do not report fearing abandonment as much as those of us who are anxiously attached (perhaps we’ve just buried that fear more deeply and do not admit to it on surveys).. This is interesting to note, because those of us with avoidant attachment were shown to use alcohol to cope with our fears surrounding emotional intimacy, but marijuana was not observed to be used in the same way.1
Those with secure attachment do not experience the same correlation and patterns of drug or alcohol use that are seen in those of us that are insecurely-attached, as secure individuals are less likely to experience fears of abandonment or fears of emotional intimacy.1 People with secure attachment styles have the emotional toolbox, so to speak, to discuss feelings and adopt healthier coping mechanisms for emotional distress.1
Another significant area of correlation with marijuana use has to do with self-esteem, which transcends all attachment styles and is true among all of us.1 Those of us with lower self-esteem are more likely to engage in marijuana use as a coping mechanism and a means of escape when the feelings of self-deprecation get to be too much to bear.1
There is still limited research into the effects of marijuana use and attachment, but I am sure that there will be more extensive research as the drug continues to gain popularity and becomes legalized in more states. But even with these preliminary findings, it’s vital to remember that we are not trapped in our negative patterns of behavior. If anything mentioned above sounds like you, you don’t need to feel hopeless or upset. We all have the ability to change our attachment styles and our patterns of behavior, we can earn secure attachment if we are willing to work for it. If you want to learn more about this, stay tuned for an upcoming blog post about earning secure attachment.
1Kassel, J., Wardle, M., & Roberts, J. (2007). Adult attachment security and college student
substance use. Addictive Behaviors, 32(6), 1164–1176. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2006.08.005
I was very excited when I saw a post covering Marijuana use in relation to attachment style because it is a substance that is very prevalent but absent in behavioral research. I personally have had a long history of Marijuana use that started when I was only 10. I have always wondered if there was a connection between my substance use and my anxious attachment style since it has always been my main coping mechanism. I enjoyed the blog covering most aspects of my inquiries because it confirmed a few things for me, first, I learned that I am not the only person interested in this field. Second, I learned that although I possibly did not start smoking because of my attachment, I most likely continue to use it to cope due to my anxious attachment style. Another part of the blog that certainly stood out to me, was the conclusion because of the way it mentions attachment style as something that can still be modified. I also especially appreciated the mention of secure attachment as something that can be earned, implying that although achievable, it requires work and the pursuit of something. I will take this all into consideration when looking at my coping mechanism and my attachment style.
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ReplyDeletePersonally, I do not really use marijuana, so I can not relate to this blog. But I do think that if I was more on the anxious side, I would try and not turn towards drugs to help ease my mind. I do not think that coping would have the same effect as actually figuring out the problem. At the end of the day, everyone is different, but I feel as if there are different ways to cope with difficult situations in a relationship. I would rather have a conversation with someone and clear the air than stay in my thoughts and wonder about what is going on in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog and all the information that was provided. I think that because I am someone who uses marijuana, I can relate much to this topic. I never realized how attachment styles in people can affect the way they use marijuana and how much they use. Although I enjoy marijuana for recreational use, using it for difficult situations is not something I would do. I say this because it is a similar way of putting feelings away like alcohol use. Although it may be fun and relaxing, it should not be overly used for any other reason in my opinion.
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ReplyDeleteMarijuana Use – Briana Andersen (11/03/2019):
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting blog post! I can see myself in some of the things you were saying, but this mostly reminded me of my friend. I believe that he has an anxious attachment style as well as a strong fear of abandonment. He also smokes the most marijuana of anyone I know. I can see how it would help to calm his anxiety and I think he feels dependent for it to do so in social situations. On a side note, I found it very interesting that people with avoidant attachment style do not use marijuana in the same way as someone with an anxious attachment style, yet both styles use alcohol in the same way. Thanks for sharing!
I admired the content of this blog post, as I was able to closely relate to the content, as well as think critically about my own experiences and habits that I would like to work much more diligently to make positive changes in. I have been using marijuana since my sophomore year of high school, in which turned from using it nearly every weekend to nearly every single day. At times, I feel as if I will not have as much social anxiety if I continue to use marijuana, although this semester has allowed me to open my eyes and realize that I have started to develop a sense of dependency on it.
ReplyDeleteHi Briana!
ReplyDeleteI have for sure heard of people using marijuana to help with nerves and anxiety. I have also heard that marijuana could make those things worse in a person. I know a few people who have anxious attachment styles and who also use marijuana. Some characteristics of those people that I've noticed is that they often describe themselves as having anxiety and being anxious/nervous people. I am wondering if marijuana use has made that anxiety better or made it worse over time. I like how your post included the effects marijuana may have on people with other attachment styles other than anxious attachment. I thought your post was super interesting!
Having lived in a state with legalized marijuana since I was in middle school, I have seen it is constantly utilized as a coping mechanism whether people know it or not. One of my very good friends began using marijuana recreationally in high school and quickly shifted the narrative to utilizing it as anxiety medication to justify their constant usage to their parents. However, they have experienced a strange flip of circumstance with this choice in their life because now they experience crippling anxiety if they are not constantly high and smoking marijuana to get through the day. I found this blog post very interesting and insightful into how attachment style plays a role in substance usage or abuse and will definitely consider this as a basis for why people do what they do in relation to substances like marijuana. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI’ve never considered a correlation between anxious attachment styles and marijuana use. I have a more secure attachment style and I don’t use marijuana because I’m an athlete dedicated to my health. But I have a roommate that has an anxious attachment style and has a long-distance relationship with her significant other. She only gets to see him once a month at most. When he is not with her, she can’t get out of bed in the morning without smoking marijuana, and when he is here she smokes significantly less. I have also noticed that her smoking immediately follows talks about their relationship and her past infidelity. She gets very overwhelmed by her guilt and will smoke marijuana to relieve her stress. I have not turned to substances for relief I think because I have a secure attachment style. When I have problems with my significant other, we are very good at resolving them quickly.
ReplyDeleteBriana, thank you for taking the time to discuss such a prevalent topic. Being from Colorado my whole life, I have been exposed to the legalization of marijuana from a young age. Often I am only concerned about the usage of those around me yet I have never conceptualized how marijuana use is playing a role in attachment. How fascinating! After reading your blog post, I think that it is so interesting that fear of abandonment is a key attribution for marijuana use for those with an insecure attachment. I am now incredibly curious to know if my peers who habitually smoke marijuana exhibit any of these factors when it comes to their relationships or attachment styles.
ReplyDeleteHi Briana,
ReplyDeleteBefore reading your post, I did not previously think of a correlation between attachment styles and marijuana use. Specifically, anxious attachment. I believe that I have an anxious attachment, but I do not partake in the use of marijuana. That being said, I have a few friends who do. I have discussed attachment with one friend in particular and was told that she also has an anxious attachment. She told me that she uses marijuana a decent amount throughout the day to cope. It seems to be a way of escaping the anxiousness for some. Thank you for sharing this post.
Living here in colorado I'm constantly surrounded by marijuana users which I don’t mind surprisingly because I do not smoke never have probably never will. I don’t judge those who do but I’ve always wondered what are individual's motive to use marijuana. I’ve tired asking some cousins of mine that use it and some tell me it’s for pain but most tell me it’s to ease anxiety, just like this blog states. It’s interesting to see the correlation between attachment styles and the use of drugs. While reading this blog and connecting it to my life and the people around me it does make sense perhaps not a clear and proven causation but definitely a correlation.
ReplyDeleteHi Briana!
ReplyDeleteI found this post to be very interesting as I had never thought or learned about the connection between attachment styles and substance use (or specifically marijuana). Something that I found interesting was your content on substance use correlated with avoidant attachment styles. Reflecting on myself, I strongly think that I am an avoidant attachment style, yet I also do heavily partake in marijuana use. This was something that you said was less correlated in comparison to anxious attachment styles which I found interesting. Furthermore, Avoidant attachment styles were correlated to the use of alcohol to cope with our fears surrounding emotional intimacy. While I do also drink occasionally, it is not as often as marijuana and feels that I rather use weed to cope with my emotions.
I personally have never been to into Marijuana but I do have friends that use it legally. Relating this to the blog, when I would use it, I would always tend to get very anxious which did not allow me to be settled down and overthink anything I did. However with my friend that using it for coping, he has never really struggled with this. He is also dealing with depression and lets me know that this also helps him with destressing. I would also mention that due to his use, it can be a little harder for him to get off for a while. But he is still able to manage this really well with school and work.
ReplyDeleteMarijuana use is something that is seen as very normal but we often don’t talk about the negative aspects of using for long periods of time. Many of my friends started smoking at a very young age and I don’t think that at that age we ever really thought about the impact it could have over time. It is especially interesting to think about how our attachment styles impact our reliance on its use. Personally, I used to use it to also calm myself down and get some sort of sense of peace. However, I had to stop using it because as the years went on, the more anxious that I got and the more I relied on it. Now, it definitely makes sense that my attachment style is correlated to my usage. This is something that is very important and I will definitely have a discussion about this with some of my friends that use it on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by this article as I have not come across much research surrounding these two subjects and the relatedness found between them. During the summer of this year, one of my friends was involved in an avoidant/anxious romantic relationship. It seemed my friend was experiencing more anxiously attached thoughts and behaviors while their partner was experiencing more avoidantly attached behaviors and feelings. When my friend was feeling more anxious about things related to her relationship, she used cannabis more frequently, as it was able to provide a feeling of relief from obsessive stressful thoughts about her relationship. Her avoidant partner was open about her own struggle with drinking, her goals to cut down, and the fact that relationship stress often contributed to alcohol use.
ReplyDeleteI was drawn in by this article because marijuana use and my relationship have been intertwined for some time now, and I feel that the connection between the two is becoming more clear as marijuana becomes a norm to an extent. I personally feel my attachment style is secure, but often in times of anxiety or stress for my relationship, I find myself indulging in weed to avoid it. This has made me more frequently anxious in my regular attachment style from time to time. Marijuana use is something my partner and I use to relax, but the correlation between it and attachment styles are a good thing to keep in mind.
ReplyDeleteMarijuana use has grown rapidly ever since legalization, and I know many people who use it to cope. I agree with what was said about self esteem. Using marijuana can make you feel better but in the long run it will only make your self esteem worse. Through friends I have found that marijuana use in a relationship is not beneficial and can end up making things worse. Marijuana can relieve stress but after using it consistently, it will begin to work less effectively and you will need a higher dose. Although it can help, I think it is beneficial to stay away from marijuana.
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ReplyDeleteThis blog gave me a little more insight into what marijuana use can do to your relationship and how it matters regarding your attachment style. I don’t think my use of the substance has gotten to a point where it’s a problem or is affecting my relationships in any way. Like the individual interviewed, he mentions he smokes to clear his head. When I use the substance, I also use it when I just want to disconnect from the world for a bit. Last semester, I was abroad, where Marijana was decriminalized. I met a girl who often went to social clubs to get high because she was stressed about school. I can see now how her attachment style may have taken part in this habit.
Reading this post really hit home for me. I know a friend that always struggled with anxiety in relationships, constantly fearing that he's too much or that his partner will leave. I’ve noticed that when those feelings get overwhelming, he turns to marijuana to calm down and quiet his thoughts, especially after arguments or periods of emotional distance. I never realized how connected that was to his attachment style until now. It’s comforting to know he's not alone, and that there’s a path toward change. It is comforting to know that there are resources out there for him other than turning to substances.
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