Social media sites such as Facebook have gained popularity in recent years, leading many to wonder about the effects of maintaining relationships online, and in some cases partially replacing face-to-face contact with online communication. If you’ve been following along with the blog for some time now, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that our attachment style even impacts the manner in which we use Facebook. Social media sites such as Facebook are thought to provide a sense of closeness and belonging that satisfies attachment needs for those of us who are insecurely attached, allowing us to engage (or disengage) as much as we feel necessary.1 Thus, Facebook serves different functions for those of us with different attachment styles.
Those of us that are anxiously attached have grown to expect fear and rejection from others, and so we are particularly diligent and skilled at detecting cues for rejection, and we are especially sensitive to any form of criticism.1 Those of us that are anxiously attached are therefore more concerned about how other Facebook users such as friends, family, or romantic partners, might perceive us.1 This can lead us to spend more time on Facebook, checking comments from other users and generally worrying about if others will view us positively.1Anxiously-attached individuals have also been shown to use Facebook more often to alleviate their feelings of loneliness, which indicates that the frequency of their Facebook use could be influenced by their mood.1 It has even been shown that when anxiously-attached individuals are in a bad mood, they are more likely to use Facebook to connect to others in an effort to improve their mood.1
Those of us that are avoidantly attached generally tend to avoid developing close relationships with others, and are more likely to socially isolate ourselves.1 This is unsurprising when considering the finding that avoidantly-attached individuals are less likely to use Facebook often, are less likely to be transparent and open on their profiles, and are less likely to like or enjoy using Facebook.1 However, despite being autonomous and generally reluctant to share emotions, those of us who are avoidantly attached are still more likely than securely-attached individuals to have concern over how others view us on Facebook.1
Those of us who are securely attached generally have high levels of social and emotional communication, are outgoing, sociable, and use Facebook in an overwhelmingly positive way.1 Securely attached individuals are happy to have others view their Facebook profile, feel proud of their profile, and generally enjoy using Facebook.1Those of us who are securely attached are also less likely to use Facebook as a tool to improve our mood—unlike anxiously attached individuals—and generally use Facebook as it was intended; to supplement our existing relationships in the real world.1
I spoke to one securely-attached friend about her Facebook use and she described the following:
“I am very open online and don’t hide who I am, what you see is what you get. I mainly use [Facebook] to catch up with friends and family and even to connect with other people who have similar interests as me. I think some people like to put on a front and try to appear a certain way online, but I’ve never felt like I’ve had to do that.”
At this point I would like to remind you all that we all have the power to change our attachment style and earn secure attachment. We are not doomed to perpetuate any negative patterns of behavior that we might have adopted, and we need never feel hopeless. If you are interested in learning more about earning secure attachment, stay tuned for an upcoming post where we’ll explore it in detail.
1Oldmeadow, J. A., Quinn, S., & Kowert, R. (2013). Attachment style, social skills, and Facebook use amongst adults. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(3), 1142–1149. https://doi-org.ezproxy2.library.colostate.edu/10.1016/j.chb.2012.10.006
This blog post is very interesting in that Facebook has both helped and hurt individuals in many ways in the last 10 years. Recently, I completed a debate project looking at the harm Facebook caused relationships, and how relationships were not brought together by social media in general. I enjoyed reading about the different types of attachment and how that overall impacted the Facebook use. I think anything could be helpful or harmful, depending upon your attachment style. I know someone who is an avid Facebook user, and comparing their Facebook use to the attachment styles described in this post was an eye opening comparison that helped explained their use on Facebook. I love that something that is so integrated into our lives was brought into perspective of attachment types!
ReplyDeleteI found this blog post to be really interesting as I have never seen attachment styles in comparison to one's active use of social media such as Facebook. I think that all of the different styles are very truthful to ones attachment style and I am not able to notice that among even the users that I am friends with on Facebook. I think that this post gives a different perspective to social media and how it applies to our relationships especially in todays society. This post does make me curious about how one has or can change their style and if anyone has any examples. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI found this blog very thought provoking as it allowed me to think of the ways I use Facebook and the way I see others use Facebook. I first looked within my own use. I do enjoy scrolling through social media such as Facebook a few times a day. I post every so often but my world is not surrounded by the use of online communication. I go to school full time, work 30 hours a week, and love to spend time with my roommates, friends, family, and boyfriend. I would consider myself as a securely attached individual because I use social media to continue and support existing relationships. But when I thought about my friend, I see how she is always posting about her emotions on Facebook things like “I am sad today”. Typically people always comment back to make her feel better. I would consider her an anxiously- attached individual. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI thought this blog post was very interesting and made me think about my own social media use. It is interesting to think about how your attachment style can even affect your social media use, which I have never thought about before. I would use that I would relate to the anxious attachment type on social media, especially. I seem to fear rejection when I post things and would delete posts if I thought it did not get enough likes. I post rarely but do like to catch up with friends and family on social media. In a relationship example, I tend to post about my significant other on holidays, anniversaries, or randomly to show I care and to spread my love. My partner, on the other hand, I would say, is more independent and does not post on social media often. He displays posts maybe once a year; however, when he does post, it makes me happy and also shows others our relationship. It gives me validation of our relationship in a certain way.
ReplyDeleteThis blog post was very insightful. This is not a topic that I typically link together; however, the link between these makes a lot of sense. The difference in usage across attachment styles is strongly linked. I reflected on friends on my Facebook and it made me think about their family structure. Someone I know that uses Facebook very frequently and is often updating her profile with attention grabbing statuses. I also know her family structure and I can infer that she is not securely attached to either of her parents. The link between these two actions is clear to me and is fascinating. I also reflected on my own social media use and I would consider it as a normal amount of use. I am also a securely attached individual, both things are similar to what the study found. This was an extremely interesting post, thanks for bringing it up!
ReplyDeleteI do not believe attachment styles control all aspects of who we are. Or, that those styles have so much influence on why or how we might belong to Facebook and/or other social media sites. I believe that within each person exists parts of each attachment style. I would likely never belong to Facebook, especially a public Facebook. Particularly, with the privacy violation issues Facebook seems to have more than a few times recently. I feel Facebook and similar sites, attract a huge number of very insecure people. So does insecure attachment prevail on social media sites? We do not know. I certainly acknowledge, that grandma miles away in a small town for example, may benefit by Facebook to see pictures and interact with her grand kids long distance. Grandma may very likely have a secure attachment style. Again, we just do not know. I also believe there is truth to most people wishing to have “15 minutes of fame” (Warhol, 1968), along the way in life, in some way. So, perhaps Facebook enables this to happen for many people. Are the people seeking their “15 minutes of fame”, only those with insecure attachment? Probably not. There are all kinds of people on Facebook for countless different reasons, and likely for more reasons than there are "official" attachment styles. That having been said, I will admit that absolutely, there are times, I wish I had a Facebook account or Instagram account, because there are a couple of like-minded groups out there, I do find interesting. I will never say never to Facebook, but, overall, I am just not that interested in Facebook and other social media sites at this point in my life.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very eye opening blog post and was insightful for myself as a person. I personally have an anxious attachment style and when I was younger I used to check Facebook comments in order to understand how other people perceived me. I was very sensitive to negative comments when I was younger now that Im older I don't use Facebook and Im not interested in sharing my personal life. I never realized that certain attachment styles effect various areas of our lives that we didn't even realize. I'm curious of what other ways that attachment styles can be seen outside of social media platforms.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this blog, as it was well written with information that many individuals in today's society could relate to. The writer was able to provide some good insight into how social media platforms can have such a huge impact on one's overall well being both physically and mentally. I liked how the writer was able to use various attachment styles that an individual may possess and relate it to how their social media account, in this case Facebook, can give insight into an individual. This idea really got me thinking how much this outlook could give us about various other aspects of an individual's life.
ReplyDeleteI personally don’t have a Facebook account, the only social media I have is Snapchat and I don’t foresee myself creating a Facebook account. I had Myspace back in the day and it just caused too much trouble in my relationship that I told myself never again. I would say at that time I related more towards the anxious attachment style, however I was younger. Now, I can say that I have a secure attachment style, as age brings growth and knowledge. However, I still don't see the need for a Facebook account because when I have used it, I just look at the pictures of family and individuals I know and I just use my sister’s account. Great job on the blog!
Briana, when I was younger I was never interested in Facebook until all of my friends started getting a Facebook. Personally, the only main pro that I got from Facebook was, reconnecting with friends and family from my past. I started to create a bad relationship with Facebook in the sense where I would constantly be on it and depend on Facebook when I got bored. I recently deleted it and feel as though I will stay off of it for awhile. You provided great information in which persuaded me to stay off of Facebook for a longer time.
ReplyDeleteHi Briana,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that Facebook can serve as different functions to us with different attachment styles. Some may view social media as a challenge in their relationships and others view it as a form of communication with friends and family. I personally see social media being a challenge through my avoidantly attached style. I liked how you provided examples and I do see myself isolating myself from others. I liked how you included that we have the power to change our attachment style and earn secure attachment because it can bring us more peace and enjoy social media.
Hi Briana,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post regarding facebook use and it's affect on attachment in relationships. This made me think of a debate I was involved in class where we discussed if technology impacted couples negatively or positively. Throughout my research, I found something you mentioned in your blog post which was that excessive social media use can lead to expectant feelings of anxiousness.
Hi Briana!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see how people with different attachment styles might use social media, like Facebook, differently. This made me think about a friend of mine who seems to always be worried about her image on social media. I'm not sure what her attachment style is exactly, but I can definitely see her having an anxious attachment style. A lot of people really seem to care what kind of image they put out on social media as well as how other people perceive them. In my experience, I cared about social media and my image on it the most in high school. As I've gotten older, I don't care about what other people might think of me as much.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog about the different attachment styles people have and how that connects with their facebook use. Facebook is definitely an app to explore new things and connect with friends and family. Sometimes useful for connecting with people who you have not seen or heard from in years. I think my takeaway from your blog post was identifying my own attachment style and seeing how I connect facebook to that. I think I am on the anxious attachment style type so there are times where I would use social media to make me feel better or share my thoughts. As I am getting older, I am learning to journal or talk to my therapist about my problems instead of running to social media for answers or to make my spirits better. Thank you for writing!
This blog post was extremely interesting to read! I have an avoidant attachment style myself, and I completely agree with this post. When it comes to using social media, including Facebook, I rarely share personal information or photos on any of my accounts. Before reading this blog post, I just thought that I was disinterested in social media. However, I now wonder if my avoidant attachment style, which causes me to avoid being open and vulnerable with other people, has also been a subconscious reason as to why I do not often use any form of social media. This would make sense to me considering posting to social media often requires a certain amount of transparency and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing this post!
ReplyDeleteThis blog post offered a different perspective I have never thought about. In society, I feel like it can be an expectation that there are certain people who care about social media than others. I never thought that it could come down to the type of attachment style someone has. I am anxiously attached myself, but I don't believe I check Facebook comments frequently. Thinking about it now though, I do feel like there are times will I will check my page multiple times while on the website to see how other people might be perceiving me. I can't think of individuals that would fall into the other categories, but with the understanding I have about the attachment styles, I understand how their attachment style would affect their presence online.
ReplyDeleteHi Briana!
ReplyDeleteI found this to be interesting to read about how different attachment styles use or navigate social media platforms. Specifically, I found your section on avoidant-attachment styles and Facebook. While I do not personally use Facebook, I was able to relate the section to my attachment and use it towards other social media. I agree with myself that I am much less active on social media and am way less transparent and open when I am active. Personally, thinking about posting gives me a lot of stress and is something that I typically avoid. As I had never considered attachment styles in relation to social media use, I found this post to be very interesting and informative!