Right now more than ever before in my life, I have been struggling to build new relationships. Coming out of what has now been a 2-year long global pandemic, right into the chaos of the end of the semester, I have been struggling to meet new people. Wondering if I was alone in these feelings, I asked a friend (who we will call Abby) if she could relate, and she shared how she has downloaded several dating apps to try and meet new people. And it turns out she is not the only one: With the ever-growing world of technology, increased isolation due to COVID, and overall lack of time to go out because of increased schoolwork, dating apps are being turned to by college students all over the world (Fortune, 2021).
I asked Abby “why dating apps?” and she explained, “I want to be able to make attachments with new people and also to build up my confidence with social interaction. I struggle to talk to people, so I thought that this would be a good way to force myself to practice engaging in conversations with strangers.” So far Abby’s experience with these apps has been primarily positive; she has met quite a few people and is enjoying talking to new people.
However, Abby did mention the negative side of dating apps. For example, she shared that she was getting a lot of unwanted and often unnecessary messages. “I mean I was expecting to get a couple of bad ones here and there, but I ended up getting way more than I was ever expecting.” Unfortunately, this is not uncommon as women are twice as likely to receive unwanted responses (Harvey, 2022).
Abby also mentioned how she sometimes feels like she's playing a risky game with the dating apps. She says “you don't really know these people. Just some pictures and a 250-word biography doesn't tell you who they are or how you will get along with them. It does leave a lot of gray areas.” Abby explained how this makes it harder to achieve the one thing she hopes to get from the apps: genuine connections. Again, Abby is not alone with this desire for real connections. A study conducted by Beauchamp and colleagues (2017) on undergraduate women's experiences with dating apps found that the majority of women who interact with dating apps are looking for engaging and healthy relationships.
Overall, Abby’s experience with dating apps seems representative of other college-aged women and perhaps other genders as well. Many of us are using dating apps to meet new people and create connections. Most of us will run into unwanted messages here and there, but overlooking those cons, dating apps seem like a good tool to help individuals build relationships.
References
Harvey, A. (2021). Relationship Formation and Sexual Intimacy [PowerPoint slides]. Colorado State University Canvas. http://canvas.colostate.edu
Beauchamp, A. M., Cotton, H. R., LeClere, A. T., Reynolds, E. K., Riordan, S. J., & Sullivan, K. E. (2017). Super Likes and Right Swipes: How Undergraduate Women Experience Dating Apps. Journal of the Student Personnel Association at Indiana University, 1–16. Retrieved from https://scholarworks.iu.edu/journals/index.php/jiuspa/article/view/23700
References
Harvey, A. (2021). Relationship Formation and Sexual Intimacy [PowerPoint slides]. Colorado State University Canvas. http://canvas.colostate.edu
Beauchamp, A. M., Cotton, H. R., LeClere, A. T., Reynolds, E. K., Riordan, S. J., & Sullivan, K. E. (2017). Super Likes and Right Swipes: How Undergraduate Women Experience Dating Apps. Journal of the Student Personnel Association at Indiana University, 1–16. Retrieved from https://scholarworks.iu.edu/journals/index.php/jiuspa/article/view/23700
Fortune. “Activity on Dating Apps Has Surged during the Pandemic.” Fortune. Fortune, February 12, 2021. https://fortune.com/2021/02/12/covid-pandemic-online-dating-apps- usage-tinder-okcupid-bumble-meet-group/.
Hi Madi,
ReplyDeleteYour friend "Abby" seems to share a similar experience as many women who use dating apps. It has drastically increased in use since the pandemic as people crave human contact no matter what is happening in the world. I myself have used dating apps since the pandemic to also "practice" or reestablish my ability to connect with people in a new place since I am not from CO originally. Abby was correct to assume a few bad messages here and there because there are always a few bad ones in the world. I too received many more unwanted messages than anticipated and it made the experience not as fun.
Dating apps have never really been my thing and I have sworn them off completely to all of my friends in the past. However, living through a pandemic and not getting to create relationships or connections with people face-to-face was very difficult for me within the first year of the pandemic. I eventually gave in to the dating apps and tried to put myself out there a bit because I felt like I had lost the entire college experience of meeting people due to the pandemic. While I'm still not a fan of the apps and I am no longer on them (partly due to the unwanted messages), I can see how it is the next best thing to getting to know new people and trying to "practice" interacting with people throughout all of the isolation. Thank you for sharing your friend's experience with us!
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteWhen quarantine had first started, my need for connection had grown severely, as well as my intense boredom. When the restrictions started lifting slowly, I turned to dating apps, and found myself making poor decisions by using people as a “product” to satisfy my boredom. I also notice that I turn to use dating apps when I’m avoiding or neglecting the current relationships in my life. I would say that a handful of the connections I’ve made have been meaningful, but in comparison to how many ‘matches’ I’ve had, it doesn’t feel like a lot. I also completely agree with your friend, Abby, that there are a lot of unwanted and inappropriate messages. I think a part of it is being behind a screen and possibly having the idea that you will never actually meet the person on the other side, and then people feel like they can say whatever they want.
Hello, Madi!
ReplyDeleteI, alongside many of my other friends, share a very similar experience to "Abby" when it comes to dating apps, today. Since the beginning of COVID, I have been unable and uninterested in going to social outings, or even starting conversations with individuals my age. Because of this, I turned to dating apps as an alternative and I have not entirely been pleased with the results. I receive tons of sexualizing and harassing messages and find myself unsuccessful in truly wanting to meet someone from any dating app. It is somewhat comforting to read that other young women are having these same issues and doubts with dating apps and meeting new people in college.
Thanks for sharing!
Online dating holds different opinions from many people, but overall, I agree with the points you made on how online dating can initially provide someone with that push to get out there. I think online dating has its pros and cons, but basically, everything does anyways. I can relate to Abby by wanting to get out there socially, but when I receive bad messages, it turns me off from wanting to engage with people online. Individuals are allowed to hide behind their phone screens, so the level of transparency between the two who are interacting is dependent upon how much each person is willing to be truthful. I really liked reading about this topic, thanks for your great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Maddi, online dating apps allow for people to meet from the comfort of not being able to leave their own home. I agree that during quarantine it was harder for individuals to meet, leading many to downloading and using dating apps. I relate to "Abby" because I have also experienced using these apps in the hopes to find a genuine connection. To look back now, I would say most of my experience was more negative when using these apps. I also think that it takes away from the natural process of meeting someone that was so hard during the quarantine. I really enjoyed reading your blog and related Abby, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Madi,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it can be very difficult build new relationships and coming out of COVID-19 pandemic doesn’t help. I think the use of dating apps has gone up because of the pandemic. I do agree that there are pros and cons to dating apps. I think that people who use dating need to do run into unwanted things, and it can give the dating app a negative feeling. One of friends uses dating apps to meet new people, and she has had an amazing experience with these apps. She has told me that she has had a couple negative experiences, but she reminds herself that she has had more good interactions than bad. Great post!
Hi Madi! I found this research and topic really interesting to think and reflect on. I think this is such a good topic to talk about especially right now coming out of the pandemic! I also think that is common to be struggling with meeting new people right now, so a lot of people are resorting to online dating. There are a lot of upsides to this but also a lot of downsides. I found it really interesting when you talked about how your friend said that she found it more hard to achieve a genuine connection with people because you never know if they are just saying things and are acting or are genuine and true. Thank you for sharing this story and I found this really applicable and intersting!
ReplyDeleteI always told myself and my friends that I would never get on a dating site, no matter how much I wanted to be in a relationship. I just knew that I couldn’t get to know anyone truly, and I am so bad at texting as is that a dating app would never work. But apparently what I wanted wasn’t what they wanted. Rather than respecting my wishes and allowing me to meet people how I wanted to, they made a profile for me on Tinder, pretending to be me and messaging guys. I saw the way that people were responding to the pictures and caption that they put up, some were sweet guys who I thought were attractive, but the others made my skin crawl. I was furious with what they had done and disgusted by the vulgar language that people used. This deterred me from wanting to have a boyfriend, eventually friend zoning the guy who I had liked for a long time.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see why people would go on dating apps as a way to create connections and potentially build relationships, especially after being in lockdown for so long. Even though I’ve never been on a dating app, I have seen a couple different cases where dating apps have acted as a mediator towards forming long-term relationships. For example, I have a friend who met her boyfriend of two years on Tinder. I also know that there are apps out there for friendships, too. There are so many apps at there that cater to what you are looking for; whether someone is looking for a significant other, or a friend to go shopping with.
Great job!
Dating apps are an mostly an unknown to me. I have used them before and it was pre COVID, so things were a little different. Yet it was quite similar, when I was on dating apps I got more attention than I was used to. I am not super confident in my looks and knew things weren’t going to be as busy for me but I still had unwanted and uncomfortable messages. I would not post my social media on them because unlike dating apps people can send me pictures through social media platforms. I didn’t last too long on dating apps just because it was also hard to find a genuine connection.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think that this blog is very important because it is very relatable to our generation today. I believe that many people lean on dating apps to find comfort in finding new friends or companions. From personal experience, many of my friends have turned to dating apps to meet new friends or go out on a date. Their experiences have been primarily positive. There have been some negative times. Many of the negative experiences on dating apps are not being able to talk to the person till you are out on the date, and they might not always be what you want. As for just meeting friends, you can genuinely find friends anywhere, but you just never know if the friendship will be close because it was founded on a dating app. Overall, this blog put into perspective many college students and the reproductions of the pandemic. We had to be able to meet people somehow.
I totally relate to this post, coming into college me I had a huge desire to meet people and make connections with everyone. I turned to dating apps like tinder in hopes of making more relationships and seeing more familiar faces on campus. This took a turn when I also started receiving messages that wents super encouraging or enough to turn into a healthy reationship. Because everyone intentions are so diverse, it is hard to find the handful of people that are also looking to make healthy connections and attachments. I have learned that its okay to put yourself out there but to defienity double check and make sure your intentions allign with others around.
ReplyDeleteUsing dating apps as a way to build connections with people has both many positive and negative sides. As a college student, the topic of dating apps is highly used by many of my friends and most people I know. I have a friend who uses the dating app with no intention of building meaningful relationships and I have another friend who is only looking for serious relationships with the people she meets. Personally, I have never had a negative experience from the people I have met on dating apps. It is important to be cautious and take steps to protect yourself in a time when meeting strangers is deemed very normal.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I feel like dating apps are really controversial. In my experience most people on dating apps nowadays are only on them to find hookups. Additionally, most of my friends have used dating apps to try and find or build relationships with people, but it never ends up working out because the people they meet don't want anything serious. Although, the idea of using dating apps to make friends or companions makes perfect sense in today's society, especially with the pandemic. I think today, it can be hard to meet people in person, due to the pandemic, which makes dating apps extremely convenient.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteAs somebody who has used dating apps and also identifies as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I am hoping to shed some more light on this topic from a different perspective. I completely agree with your friend “Abby” that there are definitely unwanted messages here and there. However, it is really difficult to find others that are lgbt in classes and in person due to the fact of me never wanting to assume somebodies sexual orientation. I think there are definitely times I have been in a position in my life where a relationship and something meaningful has been the end goal. On the other hand, I have also used dating apps as a confidence booster which sounds really awful now that I am typing it out. I believe that if you and the person on the other side have the same goals with the outcome of the match, then it can work out. However, it is all about communication! Thank you for sharing this!
With the start of the pandemic I totally agree with the increased use of dating apps. When the pandemic started I was personally against dating apps. My friends would encourage me and tell me it was fun to meet people and I told them that if I liked someone I would go talk to them in person rather than online. But with the shut down of schools and places I ultimately ended up downloading a few dating apps. And how Abby was saying in her blog you do meet some pretty cool people. I know as a male my interactions are a lot different compared to womens who are more likely to get uncomfortable messages.
ReplyDeleteI have definitely used dating apps in my life and I think this post absolutely rings true to my experience. Especially since the pandemic, dating apps have become increasingly common. I also did a project on dating apps and how they encourage hook up culture, its extremely hard to start using these apps with the mindset that you are going to find your soulmate because realistically most people are looking for a hook up or something not super serious. There is also such a lack of information for some people out there, most popular dating apps don't ask very many questions about yourself but have you add pictures which is basing a lot of the swiping decision on physical attraction.
ReplyDeleteIn Dating Apps as Means of Connection Building I have known a lot of people my age that use dating apps as means of either connection building or casual hook-ups. I know that the people I know that use dating apps are using them for casual hook-ups and have not expressed any actual interest in dating someone. To me, this never really made much sense. I know from previous conversations with people, most people at this age are not ready to be in a committed relationship and therefore turn to online dating apps to find something different. I had never really understood this, but when it was explained to me why some people just are using apps to find people, it made more sense.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to struggling to build new relationships during the pandemic years. I am interested to see the research that will come out in the future to assess the impacts of the pandemic on relationships. I am not shocked that many people turned to dating apps to fulfill their relationship needs. It is an easy way to meet people and feel a connection. I personally could never get myself to meet up with a stranger I met online. I am interested to see how risky online dating actually is instead of listening to older generations tell me it is not a good idea. I feel like all of my relationships in college have come from meeting mutual friends.
ReplyDeletei. Dating apps are a great place for people to meet different people, though it has a dark side as do many things. When matching with people you get minimal information on the individual whit a couple of photos. Then you and that individual swap personal information to exchanging contact numbers whether snap chat or a phone number. This is normally where things will go downhill. Men are more prone to this from what I have seen. They will treat the woman as an object and ask them to send nudes, what they are wearing, if they want to have sex, and more. From wanting a positive relationship with another individual to an unwelcoming amount of sexual questions and intentions.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us were in the same boat as Abby. I know that I was. The pandemic was singlehandedly the most isolating experience I have ever been through. Just like Abby, I also downloaded all of the dating apps.I also had mostly positive experiences. But I also experienced a lot of unwanted attention. Honestly, the attention was confusing. On one hand, it was an ego boost, but on the other hand it was degrading. My experience was great and I ended up meeting my now boyfriend of almost two years. For that, I'm very grateful to dating apps.
ReplyDeleteMy personal relationship with dating apps has been more of a negative one, never really putting in the effort to talk or meet anyone I've met. Even further, I haven't even thought about hooking up with one of the people I've matched with, however, without the face-to-face interactions I've participated in over Covid, I could see how exactly dating apps could be beneficial. I also see its benefits of being able to "dip one's toe in the water" without any commitment or face-to-face interaction required to begin getting to know one another. I will just say that it isn't as strong of a foundation, at least in my opinion, as if they had real time, face-to-face interactions.
ReplyDeleteI have had lots of bad experiences trying to build connections and meet people on dating apps. I find them to be hard to navigate and confusing. Lots of people seem to be unclear about their intentions and priorities on dating apps. People seem to either only be looking for casual sex, but frame themselves as looking to make a real connection, while others make it seem like they would like to form a relationship and then never actually commit to meeting up. I have ended up giving up on dating apps because of how difficult they are to navigate and the lack of clear communication and expectations.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteI have a friend similar to Abby who has gone on dating apps in hopes of finding a connection with someone. She has not had as positive of an experience as Abby has seemed to which causes her to go off-and-on the apps every once in a while. My friend also wants genuine connections but is having trouble finding that with people on apps. The unwanted messages is also a part of why she is off-and-on because those messages really turn her off of talking to anyone. She never knows who is or who isn't going to send something out of the blue. Dating apps seem to really go either way and it's impossible to guess if it will be positive or negative.
I think this is a really interesting way of looking at dating apps. I personally use dating apps to try and find genuine connections, but have not been successful. In my past experience, I have encountered more people looking for casual hookups, rather than any sort of connection. Since COVID, I think that has changed. Like you mentioned, everyone receives unwanted messages on dating apps at some point, but recently I have come across more people, specifically men, who are looking for genuine connections. Yes, there is not much to know about someone when you are only allowed 6 photos and less than adequate space for a bio, but it gives people the chance to expand on themselves if they decide to meet someone new. I also agree that dating apps can help build confidence in social situations. Apps like these often aid in building good conversation skills.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi, this is a super intriguing topic (especially in today’s time!). Similar to many other commenters, I had completely sworn off dating sites and ridiculed them for being “not real” or “useless” compared to real life interaction because I had head of so many unwanted or un respectful interactions. Recently, I had a friend who frequented dating apps get into a relationship with someone she had met online. And, to my surprise, it’s one of the healthiest, loving relationships I’ve seen in a long time. I’m really happy for my friend and have seen the positive interactions that dating sites can promote. Your post is starting to make a lot of sense!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this blog post because I could relate to it. When I was staying at my parents house because of the pandemic I found myself really wanting to be in a relationship. I was lonely and desired some sort of deep attachment. Because of this I turned to dating apps. For me I didn’t necessarily have a negative experience with it but it wasn’t overly positive either. I just felt that it was extremely artificial and very hard to make deep and meaningful connections with online dating apps. For me it is definitely easier making genuine connections with people (romantic or not) in person rather than online.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this blog post because of the relatability it has to all people, now more than ever. Since the COVID19 Pandemic began, I feel like many people are staying in, social skill development has declined, and a result of this is a lower likelihood of partaking in romantic relationships. I agree that dating apps can be helpful for those who have struggled with building relationships and finding real connections. I also think that making friends and finding roommates online is something that occurs a lot as well, and I have heard only good things from peers who use these kinds of apps.
ReplyDeleteI have seen a lot of this within the college students that I know. I feel like I know more people with dating apps than those without. Many people struggle to make connections that start away from the digital world but neglect to think about the other side of online dating. Only knowing a small amount of information about someone and then trying to develop a relationship can be hard, and maybe a little dangerous. I am glad that you mentioned this part in the blog because it is often looked over. Especially since online dating has boomed since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.
ReplyDeleteI haven’t had much experience with a lot of dating apps but I have attempted to use them before. I was in the same situation, being isolated and too busy to meet new people is real, and the world of technology was seeming to make that easier for everyone so I decided to give it a try. At first I felt a little weird because I was talking to complete strangers, then I convinced myself it was as if I was talking to a stranger at the bar. But just like it mentioned in the log, I was also getting too many unwanted messages, which led me to delete the dating app and take a gamble at social interaction in real life.
ReplyDeleteI have also been in Abby's shoes. I have been debating for a while now about whether or not I should install a dating app. I go back and forth because I know that it has been successful and fun for some of my friends but I also know that I prefer to meet people in person and build a relationship from there. However, I think I will probably end up creating an account and even though I know that there I will get a lot of unwanted messages, I think I will be able to meet a lot of people and form friendships and romantic relationships which are relationships that I have been craving.
ReplyDeleteI find what Abby is saying about dating apps to be very relatable. Since Covid and also starting college, I have also had difficulties with making new connections. Like Abby, I have considered downloading a dating app in order to build up my confidence with social interactions. One of my roommates has a dating app and has a positive opinion on it because she is constantly meeting new people. This is one of the reasons why I would consider using a dating app but on the other hand, she too, like Abby, often gets unwanted messages that can be sometimes degrading. This is one of the reasons why I would avoid dating apps. Ultimately, Abby's experience and story with dating apps is similar to mine and convinces me to go out of my comfort zone and try to make new connections this way. Thank you for sharing your friend's experience!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone can say that during and after the global pandemic, it was a huge struggle to make and keep relationships. I have a friend who uses dating apps, and similar to Abby, used them a lot after the pandemic. She was honestly just bored and wanted people to talk to during this time. I don’t think she was genuinely looking for a connection, just people to talk to. And she found that through dating apps, it definitely helped cure her boredom but it didn’t lead her to find a real connection. I think dating apps build connections to an extent. I personally do not think that this is the best way to make genuine connections, but everything goes out the window when you involve a global pandemic. It can be a cool way to talk to people during this time, but not a basis of making a genuine connection.
ReplyDeleteThis has definitely been a large topic of discussion in recent generations, but especially now more than ever since the pandemic. As a high school graduate going into my freshman year of college during this time, I can hands down say how hard it truly was to meet people. I moved away from home, states away in fact, and felt very homesick due to the lack of connections with other people. A lot of the people I had met were on dating apps, including some of my friends. I have never been the type to interact with these apps, however, I think it has its positives and negatives. It is a way to meet people, but how genuine are those relationships? Is it someone hiding under a different profile pretending to be someone they aren't?
ReplyDeleteI agree with the pandemic leaving many people, along with myself, longing for human connection. With being locked in my home without connection to the outside world, my only way to connect to others outside of my small house being facetime and zoom, it left me feeling extremely deprived of connection and this led me to feel very sad. While I did not use dating apps to gain this connection, I would seek other online chat rooms to talk and meet new people, because I am the kind of person that seeks new perspectives from different people. I really like the perspective that you took with dating apps and found this post very interesting.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi! I found all of these findings interesting, specifically looking at my experience coming out of the height of the pandemic. While I think that we are all still trying to figure out what social connections look like post-pandemic, I think that the time immediately following the lift of the stay at home order was especially tough. Having to reconnect with people, but still from somewhat of a distance was a unique experience. I will say, I found it helpful that no one was going through it alone, although it didn't always seem that way. Using a strategy like dating apps seems to be beneficial, at least in the sense that you can choose when to continue that relationship in person.
ReplyDeleteI do not remember hearing much about dating apps while growing up. I am assuming is partially due to the fact that the internet was just as “brand new” as you could have ever imagined it. When I moved to the United States however, going online as means of connecting with others was becoming widespread. At the time, young adults were using MySpace, online forums, and other internet resources to get to know others, make friends or date. Additionally, for closeted people (such as myself) establishing connections online also helped in finding those niches that allowed us to feel safe and connect with those who had similar interests. Groups that otherwise I would have never been able to establish connections with. However, I do agree that online dating does have certain disadvantages and risks; nevertheless, it is equally important to ensure that communication is being used by both parties involved (this means transparency about who we are and what we expect), and that safety considerations are always put in place.
ReplyDeleteHi! I think your take on this situation and the idea of connection building within dating apps is very on par to what many others feel currently. I would have to agree with you when stating that building new relationships and meeting new people has become more difficult especially after and during the pandemic. I have had a hard time meeting new people within these past couple of years. I think that dating apps do draw people together but I would have to state that there are more negatives than what you are portraying, yes it is a good start. Yet I think maybe people get on dating apps for different reasons, and then it can become very complicated and hard. But I do agree with many of your statements.
ReplyDeleteI too have tried connection building through dating apps, I had positive experiences with it but it didn't feel genuine. I felt as if I was "practicing" my social skills. I think lots of people used dating apps for this purpose following the pandemic, I noticed many others on the apps doing the same thing as me. One thing that stood out to me is for a period of time friend groups would make dating profiles on apps to expand their relationships. I think this is an interesting take on dating apps, it felt more genuine, fun, and safer to do! I never met up with anyone from the apps, I would be too scared. It has now been two years since I have been on those apps and I wonder how they have changed since then.
ReplyDeleteUsing dating apps can be a great way to meet new people even if it doesn’t end in a romantic anything. I think covid really expanded the use of dating apps from looking or love or casual hookups to using it to talk to and meet anyone in a time of isolation. Dating apps can be a big concern with fake profiles, lying about age, fake pictures. It can be a scary place if you end up in one of these situations but for covid, it made it a place to just talk to people. I think everyone and anyone receives messages they don’t want on dating apps but in my experience, it was never to a point where I wouldn’t want to continue using it. I agree with this blog post in saying that dating apps are a great way to make connections and meet people.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi!
ReplyDeleteWhile dating apps had never been something that I personally tried, this is something that my friends and roommates have tried and talked to me about. Specifically, my roommate reminded me of Abby in the way that she used the apps for making connections and talking to people. She also would express to me the many unwanted responses or people that would reach out to her on certain apps. While I haven’t tried it myself, I can agree and understand how these apps can be useful and exciting regarding meeting new people. However, the unwanted messages and ultimately not knowing who is behind those messages is something that can be scary when interacting on these sites.
Hi! Your experience with dating apps and meeting new people online resonated with me and reminded me of personal experiences with dating online. I, too, have attempted to meet new people and form new connections online through apps such as Tinder, Bumble, etc. For the most part, this has worked out for me as I have met new friends and romantic interests. My roommate, however, has had a more negative experience as she commonly receives unwanted messages and attention from people she meets. I also think that the area you are looking for people in, the age range, and frequency of use all impact one’s experience with dating apps.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great blog to read! I really liked how you connected dating apps to connection building. I agree that during the pandemic and after everyone was craving connections, however they were formed. My roommate freshman year downloaded tinder to meet guys, which was the first year back after the pandemic had happened. Things were not like they were before COVID, so meeting people was very difficult. All of her classes were online, so she took to tinder to meet people. I definitely agree that women get more unwanted responses than men do. I myself have never had a dating app, but a lot of my friends have and have tried to find a meaningful relationship. None of them have worked out, but it was interesting to read that dating apps helped build connections.
As a college student I agree that it was hard to find connections during the span of COVID and shut downs making it hard to meet new people. I think that there are many positives and negatives with dating apps. I personally am not a fan of them, but my friends have used them and had success with them. The part on how a 250 word biography is not a true indicator of someone is good to keep in mind since from my friends experiences there is a forgotten piece that even though someone seems great on social media, it is also important to remember that people post their highlights of their lives.
ReplyDeleteMadi, I too am a college student and find this topic of conversation extremely intriguing. It is extremely interesting how our attachment styles can alter and shape the way we think about things like casual sex. Your friend “Chase” with an avoidant attachment style contributes to his behaviors of not wanting confrontation or to fight which was reflected through his answer of setting boundaries before engaging in casual sex. With an anxious attachment style, I wonder if that individual would respond different simply because of the anxiety that forms around creating labels and confrontation about casual sex. Great job with this post.
ReplyDeleteMadi, after reading your blog post, I found an abundance of connections to your friend Abby. She wasn’t as comfortable with social interaction and I admire her for making changes to want to do so. Dating apps helped her so I don't see why it couldn’t help other people who share those feelings of social anxiety. I however, find more anxiety when I meet people online that I don’t know much about. In the world we live in today, it can be extremely dangerous to meet people online. This is something I will take into consideration when wanting to improve my social interactions.
DeleteI really enjoyed this blog post and totally relate to it. After covid, I think online dating and using online websites to meet people was at an all-time high due to the pandemic. Being isolated makes it easier to connect with others through your phone. Dating apps do make it easier to talk to someone and build connections although it can be scary due to catfishing being a thing. Once you want to meet in person you never know if it'll be the person you think. After Covid, I think many people had social anxiety due to not having in-person communication for years or two.
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your take on dating apps and the pros and cons of them. With this being a popular new way of meeting individuals, it is interesting to hear everyone's perspective. Personally, I think dating apps are good for meeting new people, but it depends on what you are looking for. I think certain apps are meant for casual sex and hookup culture while others are made for genuine connection. Although I think this is true, it is hard to know what each person is hoping for who is using these apps. I also personally prefer meeting someone in person when it is possible just because I feel like there is a more genuine connection and you can get to know the person before deciding if you are interested in them or not.
I’ve always had very mixed feelings about dating apps. I tried to use them before I started dating my current partner but I never felt like I would be willing to ever actually meet up with anyone in person. I wonder if this was just because I would prefer to not meet or through dating apps. That being said, quite a few of my friends have met their partners on dating apps and are having successful relationships. I think what this post said about making genuine connections and how that’s sometimes challenging in dating apps and I feel like it comes down to your own dedication to having a relationship whether it be purely sexual or more serious.
ReplyDeleteSome ways I related to this would be I notice my peers struggle to have interaction with talking on dating apps. However with the help of the dating apps the are able to do some practicing to prepare them with future interactions. I have also heard of them getting undosered messaging and how it discorages them to contiue on these apps. I would also agree that it is more towards my female friends. With my prior knowledge I have also always heard that online pages can be very deceiving due to miss leading photos and information that may sometimes not be true.
ReplyDeleteSome ways I related to this would be I notice my peers struggle to have interaction with talking on dating apps. However, with the help of the dating apps, they are able to do some practicing to prepare them for future interactions. I have also heard of them getting undesired messaging and how it discourages them to continue on these apps. I would also agree that it is more towards my female friends. With my prior knowledge, I have also always heard that online pages can be very deceiving due to miss leading photos and information that may sometimes not be true.
DeleteMadi, dating apps have become more prevalent over the past few years and increased drastically when the pandemic hit. People in quarantine were longing for attention and connection especially college students who frequently received both. Behind a screen you can be whoever you want, along with the other person, and a lot of different conversations will build your confidence. Dating apps can be scary when it comes to unwanted messages but as statistics show, it’s especially common for women. People long for this connection a nd. When they don’t have access or ability, they turn to social media and dating apps and it can still leaving us feeling unsatisfied.
ReplyDeleteThis definitely relates to me seeing as though I have been on dating apps to meet both other possible partners and just friends. I can also relate to Abby through how she has both faced wanted and unwanted attention. Along with how you just have to test you luck when meeting a complete stranger. You never know what might happen but go with it anyways. From playing the luck of the draw, you also are in regards to whether or not y’all might get along and form connections. I have made friends and connections that have lasted but also have just had duds of friendships.
ReplyDeleteMadi, I found it interesting how you addressed the issue following up after COVID-19. I liked how you used this as your main basis for the rest of your post. I have personally always been against dating apps, really without having any full on reason as to why. I think I have always just sort of created this belief for myself that it is impossible to have any genuine connections when they start from an online environment, especially in a world with opportunity to meet people everywhere we go, and through everything we do. I did not consider how much dating apps can help someone work on their own communication skills. Although, I do have to say I disagree to an extent. I feel that dating apps, and social media in general is a rather neutral and misread way of communicating and expressing emotions takes place. I do think that dating apps can potentially benefit forms of communication at a very basic level, but I think to a certain extent, it really doesn’t do much help, as it doesn’t display the same humanism and emotion that in person conversations have the ability to.
ReplyDeletePersonally I have never used a dating app, although I know many friends that have used them. One of my buddies even built a meaningful relationship with another person on a dating app. They met during the thick of COVID and have been together ever since. So yes, I definitely believe that dating apps are super beneficial when able to find someone who is looking for the same thing as you. Adding on to meeting new people I have personally found it very beneficial to join clubs at school and join an intramural team to be able to talk with people about things I like and want to do. I find these relationships very meaningful compared to maybe some dating sites, this is because when meeting people through extra curricular activities there may be more common interests shared. When using an app there may be more confusion about what another person wants when just looking at their short bio and a few pictures. All and all I believe there are many ways to meet new people and hopefully now that the pandemic is nearly behind us you can find your people.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Madi! I know quite a few college friends who are/were also using dating apps to make friendships and connections. In the beginning when they told me, I didn't quite understand why they were using the dating apps either. After you related it to COVID it definitely makes more sense, they want to make connections and work on their social skills. Some of them are from out of state as well, they want to meet people. I would have the same thinking as Abby with the unwanted attention being occasional not as frequent. I'm glad her overall experience was pleasant.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your post. I have been using dating apps for a little bit now, and I can completely relate to the unnecessary comments. However, finding someone who does not make those comments seems more challenging. I also struggle to meet people, especially when I see them as attractive. For some reason, it's easier for me to talk to them if I can't see them. It also feels like everyone on the app is looking for one thing, and you can only see that once you start talking to them. Many college students use dating apps because meeting people with busy schedules is easier.
ReplyDeleteHello, Madi!
ReplyDeleteDuring this first semester of college, I have a roommate who frequently uses various dating apps. Unfortunately, her experience has not been as pleasant or positive as "Abby's." She believed it would be beneficial in meeting new people and was an interesting approach to dating. She has had difficulty connecting with people on a relationship level. My other roommates are hesitant to use dating apps because they see my roommates’ experiences. However, I believe that dating apps will differ for each individual and that there will be ups and downs regardless. I do hope things work out for her and that she will find someone in the future.
Hi Maddi!
ReplyDeleteI loved how you connected COVID 19 and the effects after the pandemic to the struggle that comes with meeting and connecting with new people. I think its important to understand the social struggles that come after a pandemic that had us locked in for almost 2 years because it definitely changed us in ways that are both good and bad. Personally I also find myself struggling with connecting to new and potential romantic partners because for years I wasn’t meeting anyone new and really didn’t have to worry about it. I also loved how you brought up that there are a lot of weird and creepy messages that come with signing up for dating profiles because when talking to my own friends about their experiences on dating sites they also get the same kinds of messages. I think its important to bring this to light because even though you can’t actually see the person sending those massages, it still doesn’t make it okay for a person to send them.
Hi Madi!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post, and I agree that since the pandemic, it has been harder to create/find new connections. To be honest, I have contemplated trying out dating apps, but I have been too nervous to really put myself out there and I have also feared getting unwanted messages. Do you think that romantic attachment styles factor into someone's likelihood to try dating apps or into how people use dating apps? Additionally, do you think that there are any ways to avoid getting unwanted messages/responses when using dating apps? I'm not sure if there is any way to avoid unwanted messages from a user's perspective, but I do think that being educated about the likelihood of receiving unwanted messages is really important, especially in regard to being able to keep yourself safe and out of dangerous situations.
Thank you for your post!
I appreciate the topic of this blog post and believe that so many college-aged young adults can relate to this. Including myself, I know that most students were deprived of the social connections in college that we often hear stories about from older graduates. I think that many students are not just using dating apps, but all forms of social media to compensate for the lost in-person connections we may have had pre-covid. Many students did this during lockdown and are now used to online socializing as a main form of making these relationships. I still find myself seeking connections online more now than ever before, despite being on an in-person college campus.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post. I feel like this can hit home for a lot of people. Now a days it does seem like a lot of people have dating apps. I think that it has become a lot more common now with the increase of technology use. Seeing some of my friends that have them, there certainly are some positives and some negatives to these forms of communication. Friends will show me the negative comments that they will receive and it looks as though some people abuse the purpose of these apps. However, this is not always necessarily true given that sometimes people will have in their bios that they are just simply trying to meet new people. I think that this could be useful if it is used properly. I like how you mentioned that there is so much gray area with not knowing the person. That can seem pretty daunting because one may not know what they are getting themselves into and its even hard to connect with communication through a phone (app). Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post, it was very interesting and relevant in these times. It is so true that more and more people are using dating apps to meet new people. It can be convenient and you can meet people from anywhere. You mentioned in your post that dating apps can be a way to build confidence in social interactions through online platforms. I found this similar to the Ram Connect website we were able to use before coming to CSU. This website is a way that many of us connected with other students and even found our roommates. We built confidence through this since many of us first years did not know a lot of people beforehand. Online platforms can be a great way to form relationships and friendships.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post! I find it very relatable as I am on a dating app. I like meeting new people around me and having short conversations with them. However, this type of connection seems false. I don't actually know these men, and the conversations can be negative sometimes. I do agree that they can build self-confidence because I've seen my own confidence level increase. If we can find a way to remove the unwanted and negative messages that people receive on dating apps, I believe that will be able to build stronger connections through them. Whether it be romantic relationships or just friendships.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject! During my first year of college my long term partner and I broke up. While, this was ultimately the best thing that could have happened to me, it left me feeling a bit lonely especially because I was struggling to connect with peers and friends. I started to use dating apps and eventually met my current boyfriend of almost 4 years! However, I remember engaging in conversations with some men or simply reading messages they would send out of the blue and feeling appalled at the things they would say, mostly degrading. Though, overall I feel that apps such as Bumbl (where the woman messages first) are fun and can lead to wonderful relationships, if not romantic, then platonic.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post Madi it was so validating to read. Similarly to Abby I often can not find genuine connections on dating apps. I also like Abby get a lot of unwanted inappropriate messages on dating applications that leave me distraught and feeling like I will never find love. Every time I think I should just delete the applications one of my friends gets into a long-term relationship from one. These experiences often leave me questioning when will it be my turn for love and why do no one want to put in effort to be in a relationship with me. Even the comments on this post have found love through dating applications. What am I doing wrong? Any advice will help.
ReplyDeleteIn regard to attachment styles, this post makes me wonder if there’s correlations between either secure, anxious, or avoidant attachment and which styles seek more genuine connections on dating apps. I used to identify more with anxious attachment and I was regularly on dating apps at the time looking for something more casual. However, now I identify more with avoidant attachment and I completely avoid dating apps and dating in general. If I ever were to seek out a partner, in an app or not, I would be looking for only genuine connections and nothing less. I can see how dating apps seem like a risky game because it’s almost like you’re gambling for connection with your time.
ReplyDeleteI have a love-hate relationship with dating apps. I have never engaged with dating apps myself, because I’ve been in a relationship for a long time, but I have many friends who do. I have one friend, Jenny, who ended up finding her perfect partner through Tinder. Although I think this is pretty rare especially for the younger crowd, it is possible. I think that older adults may take dating apps more seriously, but younger adults and teens use it somewhat as a joke for the most part. As far as most of these inappropriate and unwarranted messages go, as much as I cannot say I’m surprised, they likely came from a younger and more inappropriate crowd who isn’t looking for anything serious. What I have also found is that there are friendship building “dating” apps where people can seek out people with similar interests. If you are looking more to make general connections and meet new people, this option may be a little bit better.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting read to me because I recently downloaded dating apps but ended up quickly deleting them. They can definitely be fun to go on, and it is interesting talking to people in your area about things you may have things in common with. I think it was in my first few messages though that I received words I did not want, so I knew this was going to be more of a struggle to find the right person than I thought. Abby is definitely right about it being a risky game though, especially if you end up meeting them in person. You never know what you're going to get, and the most important thing should be about being safe while doing so
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to what you shared about using dating apps to build connections, especially coming out of the isolation of the pandemic. It’s great that your friend Abby is using dating apps as a way to practice social interaction and boost her confidence, as it seems like a useful tool for many who might struggle with in-person conversations. It’s also interesting how dating apps can help people meet others when they have less time to go out due to school or work commitments. However, I can understand the challenges you mentioned like dealing with unwanted messages. It’s unfortunate, but as Harvey (2022) points out, this is a common issue, especially for women. The “gray areas” of not truly knowing someone from just pictures and short bios can make it hard to form genuine connections, which Abby seems to be feeling. Despite these challenges, I agree that dating apps can still serve as a helpful way to meet new people, but it’s important to navigate them with caution and clear expectations.
ReplyDeleteI've tried dating apps here and there in the past but I struggle because I think it is difficult to form genuine connections with them. The negative light associated with dating apps can make the experience appear shallow or disheartening that it wont work out how I hope it would. As Abby stated, it's hard to genuinely know someone and their personality just on their profile, and to even know if they are being truthful before meeting them in person. At the same time, I know people who have established significant relationships via these apps, such as my aunt and uncle who are married and so happy! These relationships give me a sense of optimism that dating apps could work for me. As of now, I'm cautious to really commit to using them but not completely ruling them out yet!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post! Even though I had never used dating apps and was too young for them at the time of the pandemic, the desire for relationships was still strong. One of my friends did something similar to yours, downloading dating apps to find relationships of all kinds. I thought it was really interesting to use them for anything other than romantic relationships. It was really cool to see this different use. I had also never thought of dating apps as a way to build social ability, but it is a great way to do so. They certainly do get a bad reputation, often for good reason, but there are positives like these as well.
ReplyDelete