Mindfulness is something we have all heard a lot about, that is, the idea of intentionally strengthening or achieving peace within your mind, body, and soul. I myself have struggled with achieving what I thought were “typical” types of mindfulness, but I found out that mindfulness can be achieved through a variety of ways: through meditation, taking a walk, even crafting or listening to music.
I have
been told the benefits of mindfulness for as long as I can remember, and I
always have heard that it can impact every area of your life. As someone with
an anxious attachment style who is in a committed relationship with someone who
holds a secure attachment style, I got to wondering how mindfulness is related
to attachment.
As it
turns out, there is a very strong association between mindfulness and
attachment styles, with those with insecure attachment styles reporting lower
levels of mindfulness1. Mindfulness activities diminish
perceived stress, anxiety, rumination, and negative affect and increase
positive affect and self-compassion1. These are all contributors to
well-being in relationships, as well as predictors of attachment security.
While
I may be inexperienced in practicing mindfulness, I have many friends who have
been practicing it for years. I reached out to one of them, Olivia, and asked
her about how she’s noticed mindfulness impacting her life, but especially
regarding her dating life:
"The most valuable thing about mindfulness, which for me exists in the form of meditation and reflection, is an increase in self-esteem. I have found not only to appreciate myself more, but also how to work on becoming more confident. This has helped me in my dating life because I know my worth and my partner’s worth, and I find I don’t get jealous or clingy nearly as much as I used to.”
Olivia,
while not currently in a committed relationship, hints at one of the concepts
discussed earlier: secure attachment. Olivia’s mindfulness practices have
allowed her to form healthy habits that contribute to her secure attachment
style, which has been beneficial in her relationships. The research backs this
up, it has been shown that mindfulness increases sense of well-being and
diminishes the negative effects of insecure attachment on this well-being.
While
this relationship between mindfulness and attachment science is new, there are
very promising correlations between the two. This is something we can all take
into account with our relationships, both romantic and platonic. I know I will
be starting to make some more time in my week to explore mindfulness, and I
look forward to seeing its impact on my relationships. Remember, mindfulness
can be practiced in many different ways – it is all about finding the one that
is best for you. What are your favorite ways to practice mindfulness?
1 Davis, T. J.,
Morris, M., & Drake, M. M. (2016). The moderation effect of mindfulness on
the relationship between adult attachment and wellbeing. Personality and
Individual Differences, 96, 115–121.
https://doi-org.ezproxy2.library.colostate.edu/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.080
Mindfulness is something that I have been working on for years! It is something that can change your life around and really give you a more positive outlook. My boyfriend’s mom, Kim, is one of the most mindful, calm and down to earth people that I know! She has introduced me to meditation, anxiety diminishing books and a lot of other useful tips and tricks. Being more mindful can improve your relationships, your focus in school so much more. Your friend Olivia has a very similar mindset to Kim and she made a lot of really good points! The only thing I would recommend for you blog post would have been having someone who has never experience mindfulness try a few tricks and see how they feel! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie, I thought your post on mindfulness and attachment was very interesting to read about. I agree with you when you said you have heard of the benefits of mindfulness, but have not practiced it much. I usually practice mindfulness in the form of meditation when I am stressed such as during finals week. During those times that I have practiced it, I do find myself feeling more confident in myself, and more better self-esteem like your friend Olivia said. I believe I should get back into mindfulness to not only help myself, but also help my relationships. Thank you for your interesting post.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog post on mindfulness, and thought that it was very insightful! I am not currently in a relationship, but I feel that I resonate with you in talking about how insecure attachment can be hindering to one’s mindfulness. I do not struggle with insecure attachment, but I do struggle with anxiety. In this past year, I have had some extensive injuries that have been added stress, anxiety, and I remember myself feeling very disappointed/upset, angry, and confused about the situation. I think this year has been a year of working on mindfulness, and similar to you, I really enjoy listening to music as it I find it therapeutic, and I also really enjoy journaling, which I feel can also be a form of meditation by expressing feelings on a piece of paper and letting them go. I really like that you illustrate how mindfulness impacts our attachment style, as while I feel that I have more of secure attachment style, it is easy to see how various situations: whether in relationships, or encountering challenges throughout life can influence our relationships with others. Those who feel more anxious, and/or upset about a situation can become more distant from others that they are close with. I think that your post really illustrates the importance of individuals making time for mindfulness in order to feel more grounded.
Hi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI definitely can relate to you with having difficulty with mindfulness activities and being trying to incorporate more into my daily life. As someone who also has an anxious attachment, I have noticed that when I participate in activities such as meditation or breathing breath work, it has allowed me to gain more clarity around the situation that is causing me to feel anxious. I have explored several activities regarding mindfulness and agree that it is all about finding the one that works for you. As the stress of juggling several responsibilities and navigating the world of relationships, I am going to make it a priority to implement these mindfulness activities. Thank you for sharing this, it is such an important component to consider when it comes to attachment.
Hi, Sophie. I thought your post on mindfulness and attachment was so interesting! I have also been told the benefits of mindfulness for as long as I can remember, by parents, friends, teachers, therapists. I have tried so many times to ‘meditate’ or ‘go on walks’ and I have found that one of the best ways I am mindful is to take time to care for the things I love. I love gardening and spending time doing that always seems to work wonders for me, being around animals also is a way that helps me stay present and active in my life.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, I think this is a very important and beneficial topic. First of all, using mindfulness to have a secure attachment with a loved one is a great tool. I think for me I try to use mindfulness to combat the negative thinking I can have from my anxious attachment style. It tends to keep me grounded and gives me a coping skill to work on my anxiety. I think mindfulness is a very important skill to have outside and in a relationship. I think having a strong foundational mental health prior to the commitment of a relationship can be essential to a healthy connection with someone.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI think that mindfulness is very important for a person. It gives everyone the ability to not only regulate their feelings/emotions but to understand how we feel about our emotions. I definitely liked how you were able to see how mindfulness impacts ones attachment style. When reading this it makes me think about how mindfulness can impact my attachment style and how I would like to practice it more. Another thing that made sense to me was how insecure attachment styles leads to lower levels of mindfulness. That insecure attachment makes it hard for those to make emotional connections with others so practicing mindfulness may be hard for that person to do.
Hi Sophie! I really enjoyed reading your post regarding mindfulness. As crazy as it may sound, this something I really only recently became familiar with. My mom has always discussed the importance of being mindful when it comes to your feelings, eating, and simply your actions. She always said to me growing up "be mindful" whether that was "be mindful of how much icecream you're eating" or "be mindful of how you're acting on the playground. However, as of this year, I have recently became familiar with the practice of mindfulness and the value it can hold within our lives and now I see the importance it could hold in relationships. As someone who struggles with trust issues in relationships, I could see how mindfulness could help me with my self esteem and confidence and ultimately lead to more secure attachments in my relationships as your friend mentioned.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! I really enjoyed reading your post regarding mindfulness. As crazy as it may sound, this is something I really only recently become familiar with. My mom has always discussed the importance of being mindful when it comes to your feelings, eating, and simply your actions. She always said to me growing up "be mindful" whether that was "be mindful of how much ice cream you're eating" or "be mindful of how you're acting on the playground. However, as of this year, I have recently became familiar with the practice of mindfulness and the value it can hold within our lives and now I see the importance it could hold in relationships. As someone who struggles with trust issues in relationships, I could see how mindfulness could help me with my self esteem and confidence and ultimately lead to more secure attachments in my relationships as your friend mentioned.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie, I really enjoyed your post regarding the correlation between mindfulness and attachment. It brought me to have a new view about mindfulness. I only view mindfulness at first as just achieving peach within my mind, body, and soul which are things that would bring me peach. I like to do so by meditating and listening to music alone in my secure/relaxing spot. However, I never thought to think how it can influence my attachment. I can now see how they are related because there have been times when I do not practice/do the things that help bring me peace and I do feel like it does have a negative toll on me. I tend to feel depressed, anxious, and just a negative feeling all around compared to when I do, I tend to feel happy, more confident, less stressed/anxious. I also like how you mention relationship because depending on how you are feeling can be reflect onto the other person and affect their own well-being.
ReplyDeleteBefore reading your blog, I did not know the relationship or correlation between mindfulness and attachment! The way that I try to practice mindfulness is often completed alongside reflection. For me, reflecting on the past, as well as my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, is very important. It is important not only for my mental health, but could definitely be for my relationships as well! Taking away what was said from Olivia, I will definitely be using my mindfulness in the future to increase my self-esteem, which will hopefully help in developing a secure attachment with myself and the people that I am around.
ReplyDeleteHello again Sophie! I literally love any heading with the word mindfulness in it, it makes me feel calm and that I will be able to take information away that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I personally have dealt with this word before in my life. It is the reason I am securely attached in my romantic relationship today! Even though I am not securely attached to my parents, mindfulness taught me that that does not need to be a continuous part of my life and my mind. I like how you mentioned self-compassion. This is extremely important when understanding secure attachment to others and de-stressing tactic. Thank you - Ashley Hildreth
ReplyDeleteI also agree that mindfulness is very much related to attachment. Although many people do not realize it, relationships of any kind require mindfulness. When it is lacking, Attachment style may be less secure. Although it may be difficult you alter attachment styles, realizing the type that one has can be incredibly beneficial. In the case of a relationship with a romantic partner, I have seen some of these traits in a friend of mine. Because her attachment style is anxious, she gets upset when her boyfriend leaves and is very jealous. This affects their relationship, as she often only considers our own needs, not being mindful of this.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie! Throughout my HDFS course Mindfulness has always been something that is highly spoken about. Just recently in one of my courses, I tried mindfulness for myself. The idea of just focusing on one part of your body and how it is right at that moment is something that actually really made me feel calm. We also watched a TED talk about how if you focus on your breathing you will feel the most in control. I can't wait to try this tactic in the next moment where I feel out of control and have anxiety. If the professionals are crazing about it somethings has got to be a significant help.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post. I really liked this post because, as the title states, it emphasizes the importance of mindfulness. I think personally I am a very mindful person and I have to agree with the statement that achieving mindfulness can be achieved through meditation, taking a walk, even crafting or listening to music. There are many more ways but doing mindless tasks truly does help with your mindfulness. I think adding the personal anecdotes really added to the impact of the post. This post was really well written and was written in a way where the information was clear and concise.
ReplyDeleteSophie,
ReplyDeleteMindfulness is something I have always strived for in my life but is difficult for me to achieve. I too have a very anxious attachment style, so the few times I have been able to reach a mindful state it has helped me to calm down and reevaluate the situation. I really enjoyed the part of the quote that you used that talks about a positive benefit of mindfulness is a higher self esteem. This line spoke to me because it gave me a look into my life and how I feel after paying attention to my mindfulness, which definitely includes a higher self esteem.
Hi Sophie! This is such an interesting correlation that you explored. It was interesting to hear the personal anecdote from Olivia and understand how mindfulness truly impacted her internal working model of self and others. I do not practice mindfulness very often, but it is something I have recently been trying to incorporate into my routine. It will be interesting to see how more mindfulness practices in my lifestyle will impact my attachment style. One of my favorite forms of mindfulness is recognizing things around me that I would otherwise not pay attention to: the sunlight and shadows, the sounds around me, feeling of my breath on my mask, the texture of the clothes on my body, etc. I can understand why these practices would also be beneficial to relationships and attachments. Thanks for helping me expand my learning!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated this post because I love attempting to practice mindfulness. I try at least! I think it is a cool concept and one I would love to religiously practice. I had no idea that is can also impact our attachment styles but after reading your post, it makes total sense. I love the holistic approach to life and this fits right into it. I love that your friend who practices mindfulness said she has seen an improvement in her confidence. I feel like that is such an important aspect of building secure attachments because if we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot be confident in someone else. Just like if we do not love ourselves, how can we expect someone else to. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophia! I loved reading your blog post!! I am completely fascinated by all the ways in which attachment styles influence our daily lives, and I am also a huge proponent for mindfulness; however I had no idea these two factors may influence one another. But, it totally makes sense! If we can create peace and acceptance within ourselves, it becomes easier to extend that peace and acceptance onto others. Once we have an elevated sense of compassion and empathy for ourselves, it becomes easier to relate and empathize with the struggles and behaviors of others that we interact with. I really liked how you mentioned that mindfulness can appear in numerous ways. I have made it a goal, after the start of the pandemic, to implement more mindfulness activities (art, playing piano, meditation, exercise, etc.,) into my daily life, and I can concur that I have seen a plethora of benefits; my relationships with others being one of them. I am now so intrigued to do more research on this topic. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI have been practicing mindfulness for about three half years three now and it has definitely made a positive change in my life. I practice mindfulness by meditating and some days meditating is the only thing that can help me get through the day. For myself it's really helpful because I get to take 10 to 15 minutes to just sit and be in peace with my thoughts. I'm able to let my thoughts come in my mind feel what those may make me feel and then move on from them. It has really helped me with my anxiety because it allows me to think about the worry of a specific event, yet it reminds me that I have no control over that event. Personally, I haven't seen a huge difference within my relationship since I've been doing mindfulness although I do feel as if I have a better relationship with my parents because of it. I can think about what they say in a safe space and process that before having a reaction.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved reading this blog post and learning more about what mindfulness can look like in relation to attachment style. There is one friendship of mine where I have seen mindfulness play a huge role in how I felt with our relationship. I had an anxious attachment style while my friend had a secure attachment. I would often find myself getting stressed and anxious about small things in our friendship, things that she didn't seem to be worried about. I started practicing mindfulness by taking walks, working out, and listening to music. This really helped me grow more of a secure attachment with many of my relationships.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading this blog. It was very interesting to hear that mindfulness is heavily associated with attachment. I never realized that this is a topic related to attachment and found it extremely interesting to hear about. I think that mindfulness plays a huge role in my relationship with my partner and is important when growing a secure attachment. I think that my partner is also very mindful in which may help with our secure attachment. I also find myself having more of an anxious attachment in which mindfulness can help me be more confident and aware. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and findings.
Hi Sophie! – I really enjoyed reading your post as mindfulness is something that I utilize frequently in yoga and to help with my anxiety and is something my boyfriend values a lot as well. I love that you included practical and different ways to practice mindfulness, since it looks different for everyone! Personally, I enjoy meditation or crafting, and sometimes I even enjoy journaling. Also, based on the research you shared, mindfulness should be an easy tool shared with people to utilize throughout their lifetime, especially if they have an anxious or avoidant attachment style.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, I really enjoyed reading your blog! I couldn't agree more with what you were saying. I think being mindful and having that positive mindset can change the dynamic of a relationship. I have been practicing being mindful a lot in my life when it comes to all of my relationships with people. I like how you added it can be something as simple as going for a walk and taking time for yourself. I didn't realize how it could be related to attachment styles until I read your blog and it can affect a relationship when a person is being more mindful then they were.
ReplyDeleteBefore reading this post I have never thought about the correlation between mindfulness and attachment! I have an insecure attachment style and I never realized how beneficial mindfulness could be for me. I have never really sat down and practiced mindfulness because it is just something that I have never been introduced or exposed to any aspect. I think that it is so interesting how you could focus on just one part of your body and start to gain control back to yourself. I also think the connections between mindfulness and ones relationship and the situations one can be in and help with it can be extremely powerful.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your post, and I relate so much to it so that made it very enjoyable to read. I think that being mindful and taking time for yourself every day to do something that allows you to release some of the tension and stress in your life is so important for your own health, and also the way you conduct yourself in this world. I personally have used mindfulness as a tactic to improve my relationship and being more calm overall. I do a lot of yoga, I draw or paint, I read, or I simply just meditate or take a second to breathe and stretch. When I am in a good habit of doing these things, I find that I feel better about myself, and I feel a lot more securely attached to people in my life. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this blog post! Mindfulness is something important to me even though I do not get many opportunities to do an activity. Personally, my favorite mindfulness activity is yoga and coloring. Yoga is the most effective for me, but I do not have the time to do it very often lately. Coloring is a great one for when I do not have much time because I can stop whenever I need to. Mindfulness is such an interesting topic and I appreciated getting to read and learn more about it. Mindfulness is so important for everyone to try and find ways to practice it. I hope I can practice it more this next year.
ReplyDeleteHi there! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this subject! I think I have more of an anxious attachment style as well. I know that practicing mindfulness always makes me feel better in multiple aspects of my life.The hard part is making time for it. When I feel stretched thin, my mindfulness practices are the first to go. I usually like walking/being outside and I also like journaling. I am able to get outside when I walk to class but journaling is something I find hard to keep up with, especially when I feel like everything is going well. I struggle with making a routine and keeping myself to it. When I am more consistent about practicing mindfulness I definitely find myself feeling more confident and happy with myself. After reading this, I am hoping to spark up my mindfulness practices again, especially in preparation for finals week. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, I am thrilled that I read your blog about mindfulness. This topic is crucial for people to read and benefit from. I agree with you when you say that mindfulness and attachment are closely related. I enjoyed how your blog talked about how it is so important to have mindfulness and boost self-esteem. There are many strategies that one can do to practice mindfulness. Since I have an anxious attachment style, I practice mindfulness to decrease my anxious behavior. These strategies will help me calm down rather than be anxious. I can practice mindfulness activities in my everyday life, whether walking to class or sitting in my room. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi there, your post is super interesting and informative! This is the second post I have read that talks about techniques to overcome the negatives of insecure attachment style. I have to say that mindfulness is the simplest and my favorite technique. I particularly like practice meditation which has helped in so many ways as an individual and a person who's in a committed relationship. I find it really interesting that mindfulness is associated with attachment style, I think there should definitely be more research on this topic. Practicing mindfulness will especially come in handy as finals week is coming up. Thank you so much for the reminder to practice mindfulness!
ReplyDeleteHi, I found your post very interesting as this topic, practicing mindfulness is also the one I've been focusing on in my life daily. I totally agree that you said there is a strong correlation and relation between having a lower level of consciousness, mindfulness to insecure attachment. I also have experienced and been practicing to be less exposed myself negative vibes to keep myself healthy. And I agree practicing mindfulness leads to having a better quality of a life and I also believe it ultimately leads to having a romantic and platonic relationship with a partner. I truly believe that if more people take care of their minds to look after their emotions and spend time focusing on what they actually sense physically with their perceptions, it would definitely lead us to live in a better world with more peaceful and positive feelings. Thank you for your insights and I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI found it compelling to learn about possible mindfulness activities, but also the benefits of mindfulness as well. After reading your blog post, I find that I do not do a lot of mindfulness activities, but when I do I like to listen to music or go on walks around my neighborhood. I also thought it was interesting how mindfulness applies to different attachment types and that it can shape your attachment into secure if you do mindfulness exercises. I will be excited to see future research on this topic over the years as it develops! Thanks for sharing!
Hello Sophie,
ReplyDeleteThis blog caught my attention right away. When looking at mindfulness, I really never connected the dots between who this would be used as a strategy to achieve a secure attachment. Being at peace and balancing out stress and negative emotions could increase self-esteem benefiting controlling mentions such as jealousy. Looking at this from the perspective of a close friend, one of mine, has issues in her relationship, now looking at the situation they were both under a lot of stress not just from college but personally they were both going through difficult times. Maybe finding a middle ground where they would relax and be at peace would have helped their relationship.
I have never considered mindfulness and how that reflects on my relationships with other people. I have always defined mindfulness as an internal and personal concept. You suggest that it does remain an internal thought process it still can manage to be impactful to more than just oneself. Understanding better mindfulness practices can assist in establishing more secure attachment styles and allow for positive growth and positive repercussions in any relationship. I believe that mindfulness is poorly taught, however. As you mentioned, you were vaguely aware of mindfulness as a concept but did not know what it looked like to you until you did further research. If more people could access information on mindfulness and implement those learnings, imagine all the progress that could be made!
ReplyDeleteI've been in counseling ever since I can remember, and they have always taught me the benefits of mindfulness and how can help me personally, but I think I was too young and naive to think that it was really going to benefit me. I realize now how silly I was to think that and am regretful because now I feel as if I don’t have the tools I need to succeed. I have always been interested in the mindfulness practice, but I don’t think I’ve ever really given myself the time its needed to really be effective. I tend to be a very impatient person and need immediate gratification, but I also struggle with relationships at times so I do think that practicing mindfulness would be beneficial for my relationships now as well as in the future! Thank you for your post!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, I used to hear a lot about mindfulness during my freshman year of high school, it was one of their top values. We had an advisory class where we would meditate and reflect over things that were not school related. I enjoyed doing it, I found it to be peaceful. However, when the principal changed, so did their values and I have not prioritized mindfulness at all since then. It does not at all surprise me that performing acts of mindfulness can help promote a secure attachment and has positive outcomes overall. Knowing how helpful it can be, I would like to start practicing mindfulness, even if it starts small.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteWhen initially beginning this blog post, I related to you in not currently having much experience in mindfulness and not fully understanding how much mindfulness can impact not only yourself but those around you. In addition, I am currently in an anxious attachment style relationship like you where my partner is securely attached. I loved how you discussed mindfulness with someone experienced and was surprised to hear all the positive ways it benefitted your friend Olivia. I never realized the ways that mindfulness could help improve a romantic relationship. After reading through this post, I think that I should begin to explore different methods of mindfulness and hopefully improve my attachment style and relationship in the process. Great post!
I love your blog post! Finding time to do mindfulness activities/exercises is what I struggle with the most. My brain is constantly on go mode even when I am sleeping because my dreams will be all over the place. However, this blog gave me motivation to push through and want to start new mindfulness activities that can help my mind be at peace. I think this would help me with my attachment style because I will be in tune more with my mind instead of my heart, making wrong decisions and judgements. One mindfulness practice I want to do is start to do some reflections on myself so hopefully this can improve my attachment styles and relationships with others around me. Thank you for writing!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! I enjoyed how you tied mindfulness into attachment. I never thought about how it affects relationships other than the one you have with yourself. I try practicing mindfulness to alleviate anxiety and stress in my body. It makes sense to do it to have better relationships because oftentimes these same relationships might be the exact thing that is bringing you anxiety. I feel that can be true for me sometimes, especially if I am having conflict with people I care deeply about. But like Olivia, practicing mindfulness will help me create those healthy habits. It will also give me a clearer frame of mind on a lot of things and help me be a better partner. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI learned a lot about mindfulness from one of my past classes and in a current class of mine. I have been practicing mindfulness for some time now and I believe this is the main reason for my change to a more secure attachment style. All of the mindfulness practices and techniques that I have been taught have greatly helped me reduce my stress and anxiety levels. Being more mindful truly affected every area of my life. It affected my relationships, school, work, and sports. I was able to build more of a secure attachment style in my past relationship, which greatly helped me throughout it. It also helped me end the relationship because it helped me realize what I was doing was best for me and my past girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, reading your post was very insightful. I never thought about how my mindfulness can affect my attachment style. In the beginning, you mentioned various ways to build mindfulness which was fascinating to read because I thought only a couple of activities were considered to make this. I also never thought about the connection between mindfulness and attachment. Personally, I do not practice mindfulness besides a couple of yoga sessions here and there. Still looking forward, I believe that the more activities I do to build my mindfulness will help me grow my attachment style for the better. Thank you for the insightful post.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post, I definitely need to start practicing mindfulness. I have an anxious attachment style as well, and many of my friends have secure attachment styles which is also probably linked to them practicing mindfulness. I have friends who meditate regularly, journal, and use exercise as forms of mindfulness and it has seemed to work for them with levels of stress and anxiety. I know that when I go through phases of mindfulness that I am a lot less stressed and anxious, but sometimes life feels too busy and chaotic to make time for those important things. I have always felt as though time is not on my side due to my busy schedule, and by the end of the day I am too tired to practice mindfulness and would rather just sleep. I bet I would also sleep much better if I wasn’t going to bed with anxious and stressful thoughts. Thank you for sharing this insight!
ReplyDeleteMindfulness is such an important skill to have when maintaining relationships and navigating through conflict. It’s such a hard thing to practice in heated moments, most of my mindfulness is practiced in a more reflective manner. Reflecting on certain situations with my significant other helps me realize why he said some of the things he said and when I owe him an apology for the way I acted or the things I said. I want to get better at practicing mindfulness at the moment because I think it would be better for my relationship if I said fewer things that I need to apologize for.
ReplyDeleteI love mindfulness techniques and I try to incorporate them into my daily life. Since becoming more mindful, I would say that it has improved my self awareness and the way that I see myself. I think it helps me live and lead a more intentional life and I have seen positive benefits from it in my personal relationships as well. Some of my favorite ways to be mindful are to journal, exercise, read, and listen to music. I think having mindfulness activities that you enjoy are helpful when navigating the stressors of daily life and when it comes to relationships, it can be a way to step back and process things in a healthy way!
ReplyDeleteI really loved the correlations you were able to draw between mindfulness and one’s attachment style. I liked how you continued to emphasize how mindfulness looks different for everyone and that there are a number of ways one can practice mindfulness. I had always heard about what it means to be mindful, but I never recognized all of the great positive benefits that accompanied being mindful. I also never paid attention to how one’s level of personal mindfulness contributes to their level of attachment in a relationship. I think this was a very unique, yet relevant connection that you made! Great work on this.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this post and have never thought about mindfulness towards attachment. I relate to Olivia where I now practice mindfulness, such as meditation or working on myself only for myself. However, when I was younger I would say I lacked an awareness of mindfulness and looked for comfort in others instead of internally. I think that now I have obtained more self worth and practice mindfulness on a daily basis, it has also allowed me to form healthier relationships. I have noticed that mindfulness has allowed me to form closer relationships with friends and even help me in my first relationship with my current boyfriend. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI practice mindfulness and yoga on a weekly basis and I have to say that it has helped me greatly in a lot of different aspects of my life. By decreasing my anxiety and being more present, I have been able to get more out of my relationship and be less anxious about it. I trust myself and my partner more, we discuss and talk about important problems together but take it calmly and respectfully and we allow times for each other to be with ourselves. As much as I love mindfulness and its benefits, I don't think that it is made for all personalities and that some personalities are more aligned with it.
Coincidentally, I have been on a journey to become more mindful as I have found that I have been struggling with a lot of stress and anxiety lately. This stress and anxiety has often caused me to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms and has initiated conflict between myself and those who are close to me. I am currently trying to spend more time living in the moment and trying not to worry so much about the future. One method of mindfulness that I have recently been practicing is journaling – which has significantly helped me in processing my emotions. This way, I am able to think before I react and not bottle everything up until I explode. This coping mechanism has been beneficial in many aspects of my life. For instance, I feel that I am able to communicate better with my partner, I am able to cope with anxiety, and I am able to be present with myself by reflecting.
ReplyDeleteI think mindfulness is such an important practice, and I agree that it affects more than just yourself, but everyone around you, too. One of the main things I’ve noticed about practicing mindfulness is how it brings you to focus on the present. When seeing how mindfulness relates to attachment style, I think it would benefit people from all attachment styles, especially for those with a more anxious attachment style. Mindfulness can help bring anxiously attached people to focus on the present moment, and start to understand that the concerns they are having about their relationship are simply thoughts, and nothing more. This would benefit themselves, their partner, friends, and family, by no longer questioning the relationship, nor the self.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie, until now I had little to no clue that mindfulness would have any effect on attachment styles and relationships. Peeking from the outside in I know a couple with the exact attachment styles denoted in your blog post, the anxious and secure attachment styles. Understanding, their relationship with the knowledge of an outsider I can see that the anxious person usually becomes more overwhelmed with stressful situations than the secure person. Another thing I have noticed with this couple is that they do seem to have a balance. The secure attachment style person usually helps calm and reassure the insecure person. While the insecure person is really good about being to places on time and making amazing travel arrangements. I think that maybe having different attachment styles can before people and does not always have to have a negative impact. I also feel that both people are mindful in their own ways making the relationship work as they are always talking about their feelings.
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ReplyDeleteI found this post so relatable to my current relationship. I am someone who has a more anxious attachment style and expresses a need for constant quality time in order to feel secure and like I will not be abandoned. I often found myself feeling very sad and unmotivated to do anything on the days I wasn't spending time with my partner because I was so caught up in my anxious thoughts. AFter speaking to my therapist, I have now incorporated more mindfulness techniques like going on walks and meditations. Through these practices I found myself to start enjoying alone time and started to seek time to be independent and engage in my own activities without feeling like I was in a constant negative headspace. Our relationship is thriving more more now and I feel like we spend more quality time together rather than fighting all the time.
I found this post very interesting as I also struggle with an anxious attachment style and find myself being more nervous or overthinking situations when I am in a relationship. The idea of mindfulness is intriguing and makes me want to try practicing it more. Knowing your self worth is critical in valuing your part in a relationship. Even though this could be a difficult practice, the more people try it, especially with an anxious or insecure attachment style, they could benefit from the mindsets. I believe in trying this practice and working on myself through my internal attitudes to help benefit my relationships.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. I think mindfulness is something that is so important but also so overlooked. I am an athlete as CSU and there has recently been a big emphasis on mindfulness and mental health due to suicides at the D1 level. I think talking about mindfulness seems easy but the actual act of embracing and executing mindfulness is extremely difficult. When life gets busy and overwhelming, it is easy to neglect yourself and your needs. I really appreciate your take on this. I know that I will be moving forward into finals having a better understanding of mindfulness and self reflection.
After reading this blog post I think I have to try out a few different mindfulness techniques. I have an anxious attachment style in romantic relationships and I wonder how much mindfulness activities could help me foster a better sense of self-security and security in my relationships. Looking at my current day-to-day life, I don’t currently practice any mindfulness activities and I’m worried about staying consistent with them, but I would really like to give them a try. I wonder if there are certain mindfulness activities that would be more helpful than others in fostering more secure relationships, but I guess i’ll have to try it out myself and see what I think!
ReplyDeleteHey Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you talk about mindfulness and the positive aspects it has for yourself, but I think that with the added benefits of better attachment styles in relationships it will encourage more people to practice mindfulness. I think that finding a way to practice it with your partner will result in not just improvements for you as an individual, but for your relationship as well.
Before this I thought I knew what mindfulness is. After reading this blog excerpt it was really cool to see how mindfulness is not just about minding your business or anything like that. But it can be used as a way to focus on yourself and promote mental health. And that many times when breaking up from a relationship this helps people reflect and think about themself and where they are at in life and relate and promote self love and growth. Also with mindfulness people deal with it in many ways. Some meditate or reflect about their lives. This is a good topic that is very fresh and needs more attention.
ReplyDeleteMindfulness is one key to a successful and healthy relationship. Making sure that all your needs are met as well as your partners. Checking in with one another to adjust yourself to make sure the other is heard and understood. It also takes place when you speak to one another daily, you want to make sure you are mindful of the words that you use so that you don’t hurt the other feelings unintentionally (mind you I don’t want you to walk on eggshells). At the end of the day, you will see a change when you start being mindful, you will see your partner happier and be more willing to adjust to you as well. I know from personal experience. Everyone at the end of the day just wants to be loved.
ReplyDeleteAs an individual who has spent a lot of time working on myself through therapy, the concept of mindfulness has often been brought up. I have always dismissed it because I find it boring and difficult. I always thought that mindfulness was the absence of thoughts, but recently I have learned that mindfulness is acknowledging thoughts without judgement. This has been extremely helpful to me when navigating social interactions and conflict. I often overthink interactions and get self critical about the way I acted during them. By stopping and acknowledging my thoughts without judgement and allowing myself to not get upset or calm down I am better able to view interactions and stop them from escalating.
ReplyDeleteThroughout my life, I feel like I've always been annoyed by those who lack mindfulness out in public. That is, those people who walk in straight lines, making strangers move out of their way or the people who rudely ask "are you in line' when your CLEARLY are in line. With that being said, personally, I have definitely not achieved complete mindfulness, as there are moments im more absent minded and less intentional with my actions. This can and has lead to moments of regret or situations where I wish I acted a different way than how I actually acted. Also, I think in terms of relationships, being mindful could've helped me react better and keep in better touch with my previous significant others.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI have of course thought about attachment styles and have thought about mindfulness, but I've never thought about the two influencing each other. I consider myself to have a secure attachment style but am not great at my inner mindfulness. It is something I have worked on off-and-on but it has never stuck for a long period of time. However, when going on more walks lately the mindfulness feels built into that because I am alone with my thoughts, looking around in nature, and know I am doing something good for my body. On days I go on walks I find myself to be in a better mood, which positively impacts how I interact with my partner. This simple mindfulness walk does seem to positively impact my relationship.
Hello! This blog post was super interesting to read because I’ve always struggled with mindfulness. It is a skill I’ve always worked on and one I aim to get better at. For me, I go on walks or runs while listening to music helps me cope with any anxiety. This form of mindfulness allows me to clear my thoughts and regulate my emotions. One of my friends meditates as a form of mindfulness, she says it helps her reflect and become more confident, like your friend Olivia! The impact meditation can have on one's well being and self esteem is incredible. I think understanding the impact mindfulness has on attachment styles will allow for strong and secure relationships.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Mindfulness has been a fairly new practice that I have introduced into my life after learning that it helps with individuals who suffer from anxiety and depression. I have always seen it as a way to give myself a brain break when I feel like I am suddenly becoming overwhelmed or unmotivated. Before reading this article though, I never realized that there is a connection between mindfulness practices and attachment styles. It makes sense that if you are more secure in yourself, with higher confidence and self-esteem, that you would also be more secure in any other relationships. This is something that I would like to continue to do in my life because of the many benefits which come from it. I think that one of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness since starting is through meditation in yoga, and going for daily walks because it is my time to breathe and let go of thoughts for a little while.
ReplyDeleteI think that being mindful is also about being confident and comfortable within yourself. So obviously this would help in relationships. My roommate has had a boyfriend for awhile but just recently, she has been journaling to grow in so many ways within herself. Overall, she seems less stressed and more stable, and her relationship has gotten a lot better and more secure. I believe journaling and finding herself more has made her attachment style become more secure. She knows herself and what she deserves and that has helped in her relationship too. Learning about yourself can show you what you need and what you have and improve your relationships with everyone in your life in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteMindfulness is something I have always struggled to understand. I have always thought mindfulness consisted of being thoughtful towards others and being kind and conscious of your surroundings. However, there is more to it than that. There is being mindful of yourself and being intentional in the things you do to take care of yourself. As a very empathetic person, I will always choose to help others before myself and this has caused a lack of mindfulness. Something interesting you said was “The most valuable thing about mindfulness, which for me exists in the form of meditation and reflection, is an increase in self-esteem. I have found not only to appreciate myself more, but also how to work on becoming more confident”. I think this is super interesting because for me, I feel the most myself when I am helping out others and creating a space where everyone feels loved.
ReplyDeleteI agree that mindfulness is important in improving well-being and I think it contributes positively in many areas of an individual’s life. For someone who is anxiously or avoidantly attached, I think that practicing mindfulness can be helpful in order to regulate emotions. Personally, the way that I practice mindfulness is through breathing, music, watching my favorite show, or playing my favorite video game. I think mindfulness can be whatever someone wants it to be as long as it allows for that individual to decompress and reflect. I also think that when mindfulness becomes a habit, it can change the trajectory of someone’s life.
ReplyDeleteHi! Thank you for posting about this topic, how interesting! I think that mindfulness has always been insanely important. As you said this mindfulness connection to attachment style is new but it seems so accurate with the sense of being a secure attachment style person you have better mindfulness. Yet it also helps me who has an anxious attachment style realize that this can allow me to become better and possibly lead me to have a more secure attachment style. I think self-compassion is needed for myself and mindfulness will allow me to achieve that more. I will get to walking and meditation more! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post and have agreed for a long time that mindfulness is an important practice! Personally, I have been practicing mindfulness since I have been in college. I think that it has helped me stay calmer in certain situations that I would have had before I even knew what mindfulness was. Especially in college, and as a young adult, it’s easy to overwhelm yourself and feel lost or stressed. Being mindful, for myself, has helped me resist and fight the negative thoughts and stress that I may feel during this time in my life. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your post and agree on the importance of this!
Hi! This was an interesting and important consideration when considering attachment and relationship dynamics. I had not previously considered the impact mindfulness has on security. It makes sense that anxiety reducing tactics would combat an anxious attachment style. I have not practiced mindfulness when experiencing a more anxious attachment style with someone but know the positive impacts it has on other aspects of my life that involve stress and anxiety. I practice mindfulness and grounding techniques before an exam, speech, or other stressful life experience. This, would be beneficial in building a more positive and healthy dynamic with a romantic partner.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog about mindfulness. I have learned a lot about mindfulness, so I really enjoyed reading more into what you thought about it. I have never read about the connection between mindfulness and attachment styles. I actually participated in a research study about mindfulness and I saw so many benefits. I found myself more relaxed throughout the day and better equipped to handle stressful situations. I know that mindfulness takes many different forms, so for me I like to read the Bible because it brings me peace and comfort. I thought this was so interesting that there was some correlation with mindfulness and secure attachments. I would love to read more and learn more about this research.
This is interesting especially during college because we might forget about mindfulness or not focus on it enough. Especially when in a relationship, mindfulness can be a different way to connect with your partner more deeply. With my partner, I try to find ways we can distract ourselves, we aren’t from Fort Collins, and having many hiking trails and Horsetooth, we try to take advantage of the scenery. We either go on runs or hiking, not only do we disconnect from social media and our phones, but we also get to enjoy nature. We do this on Sundays, and it helps me restart my mind for the upcoming week, in general, it makes me feel good and is something my partner and I enjoy. Mindfulness is something college students should focus more on.
ReplyDeleteSophie, I really enjoyed reading your post about mindfulness. I have started to take mindfulness into consideration as I started dating my boyfriend about six months ago. Because of my anxious and insecure attachment style, I tend to have a lack of trust in my partner. This is something that I’ve noticed in myself and am working towards fixing. Introspection is a form of mindfulness in a sense because we are looking inside ourselves for reflection. I believe that being mindful has really helped my relationship grow and for myself to grow as an individual. I really connected to this post.
ReplyDeleteCollege was my first introduction to mindfulness. I remember learning about it and brushing it aside, not realizing how impactful and important it can be. It wasn't until in one of my classes we did a mindfulness activity where we wrote about things in our life. Taking the time out of my day to do this really made me think about my life from a different, more positive perspective. I have never thought about using mindfulness in a relationship before, but I think it is an idea with a lot of potential. I see how practicing mindfulness could potentially help people form healthy habits and help to create a more secure attachment style.
ReplyDeleteMindfulness has recently been something that has helped me tremendously. These past few months have tested my patience and my attachment style has definitely shown through. Without practicing mindfulness I do not think I would be sane. As you mentioned, mindfulness can be achieved in many different ways. I find it the most helpful to reflect on my feelings during the day, especially when I have extra stressful days. Just as your friend Olivia I believe it has helped me begin to form healthy habits. While reflecting on my feelings and why I feel the way that I do I realized that the only person who is in control of my feelings and body is me. It is not until I begin to help myself and am mindful about my emotions will I be able to be where I want to be in my life. Both physically and spiritually.
ReplyDeleteHi Sofie,
ReplyDeleteI am currently a dance major and can relate to “searching” for mindfulness. An assignment I recently received was a cross training project with a focus on mindfulness. My mindfulness every week looks like journaling and affirmations every morning and a guided meditation once a week. Ever since I have started focusing on mindfulness my world has changed especially in my relationship. Before coming to college and the added stress that comes along with the journey I had a secure attachment style and had a “near perfect” relationship. But once I got to college everything started to change. I started picking up negative habits and my attachment style became insecure. I was afraid this was going to drive myself to a breakup. However once I started to practice mindfulness I became less stressed, less clingy, and less irritated. Now my relationship feels like it has gone back to “normal” and my attachment style has once again become secure.
I personally never practiced or appreciated mindfulness until a little over two years ago now. Mindfulness has impacted my mental health and physical well-being tremendously. I am so grateful I began practicing mindfulness when I did because I think it truly did help me navigate through the rocky end of my long term relationships, and more so the overall breakup. I have learned healthier habits and can apply those to not only any future romantic relationships, but my relationships with ours and myself. My favorite ways to practice mindfulness are deep breathing and yoga, exercise, and spending time alone in nature. I think everyone can benefit from more mindfulness in their lives.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing how much our attachment style affects so many different areas in our lives, in this case mindfulness practices and how they can affect our relationships. It’s so interesting to think about how being mindful—whether through meditation, walks, or just moments of reflection—can help reduce things like stress and anxiety, which often come with insecure attachment styles. Olivia’s experience with increased self-esteem and reduced jealousy from her mindfulness practices really shows how it can positively impact dating and relationships. It’s a great reminder that mindfulness can be unique to each person; there isn’t one “right” way to practice it. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading what you’ve shared in this blog about mindfulness and how it is connected to and influenced by attachment styles. Recently, I’ve been trying to be more mindful in a lot of aspects of my life. A class I am currently taking talks a lot about relationship dynamics and how being mindful of your words and actions, as well as your partners can help create a better relationship dynamic. As someone who has struggles with an anxious attachment style, I’ve noticed that the more I practice mindfulness of myself and those around me, the more I’m able to stay grounded and be less crass and overactive when small things go wrong in my relationships. Although it can be difficult trying to stay grounded and mindful, I have really seen improvements in my partners and I’s communication and relationship as a whole. `Being less worried and stressed about my own life has allowed more time and space for those around me and I have loved how much all of my relationships, both romantic and platonic, have grown and developed as I predict mindfulness.
ReplyDeleteThis post was very fascinating to me, because my mom always told me the same thing. She is extremely into things like mindfulness and yoga and has always emphasized how important it is because it can help me and my relationships. It makes sense that mindfulness and being able to recognize what your feelings can help you in a handful of ways. This post is going to make me prioritize practicing my mindfulness skills so I can work on changing my avoidant attachment style to a more secure style. Practicing this can also help in other aspects of my life too like school and work.
ReplyDeleteMindfulness in life and in relationships is super important. Taking the time to ground yourself and connect with your emotions and your heart is very important. There are amazing effects to creating mindfulness in your life. There is an increased self-esteem, loving yourself, and creating a sense of calm and your life. Having mindfulness in relationships is super important. I remember when I was in a relationship and I was practicing mindfulness. I was able to approach situations in a secure and calm manner. I was also able to Reflect before I reacted to something. Mindfulness is important to embody for your life and for your relationship relationships to thrive.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great post, personally it spoke out a lot to me and was definitely a post I gained something from. I think mindfulness is very important, something we all try to achieve and something that plays a big role in our lives. For me, mindfulness is something I really strive to achieve, and I never really correlated it with attachment styles, but it is good to think about it that way. I’ve also heard from a lot of people that mindfulness can definitely have an influence on relationships, and I think, like Olivia, many have had personal experiences of it doing so.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post. I was recently introduced to mindfulness through a program at my university. Before this I had never really paid attention to mindfulness, let alone engage in it. But the more I learned about it the more I noticed things about myself. I have always been an anxious person, even in relationships. While I was learning mindfulness, I was in a relationship and still am, but I noticed that as I started practicing it more and applying it to my daily life, I noticed a change in my stress and anxiety as well as a change in my relationship as well. Now I notice how I will do mindful things without even having to think about it and try to help those around me be mindful about themselves as well.
ReplyDeleteI have always believed mindfulness is important to the well-being of myself and the health of my relationships. However, similar to yourself I have also struggled with it. The lightbulb finally clicked so to speak, after about two months with a highly skilled therapist. He introduced me to somatic exercises and the mind-body connection, in a way that made sense to me. I further dived into learning about mindfulness through the book, Somatic Therapy for Trauma by Joy Deveraux. It is full of easy-to-digest information and quick daily practices. I have tried a few that resonated most with me and have noticed a large difference in my confidence and self-esteem. I no longer feel like a helpless pawn and life, and instead have the internal strength to handle challenging situations. The new shift has had a positive ripple effect on my relationships with peers and family. I am less stressed about relationship conflicts and more patient with my daughter. I agree that mindfulness has a positive impact on those with insecure attachment.
ReplyDeleteMore than ever, I feel like mindfulness is something everyone should try tapping into at least once before deciding it’s not for them. However, I also think that people are quick to judge or define mindfulness as something only done through meditation or yoga, when in reality, it can take so many forms. I really liked how you mentioned walking, crafting, or even listening to music, because those are examples of ways people can practice mindfulness in a way that feels less structured and more as a way to connect with yourself and the things you already love doing. I’ve been in therapy (where we’ve been practicing mindfulness) for a while now, and it’s been such an enlightening experience in terms of understanding myself and my patterns, especially when it comes to managing my anxious thoughts. It is also very effective in helping me feel more grounded and better prepared to handle overwhelming situations.
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