Being pregnant and creating a family of your own is one of many people’s greatest achievements in life and can be a large source of joy. While I don’t have any first-hand pregnancy experience, I remember when my mom was pregnant with my twin sisters. I was only four years old, so I only remember being super excited about seeing my mom walk around with my sisters in her belly.
While
pregnancy is a time of joy and excitement for many, it can have many hard
components that come along with it such as depression, anxiety, and changing
self-image issues. This got me thinking, how does being pregnant impact
attachment? I interviewed my mother, Cindy, about her experiences during
pregnancy. When asked about changes in her relationship she noticed while
pregnant, she said:
“Being pregnant was one of the greatest periods of my life, but I remember it brought a lot of difficulties that I didn’t have before. It made me feel really insecure about my image and what I could do with my body, and the stress of having a high-risk pregnancy really took a toll on the romance in [my husband and I’s] relationship,”
Cindy
isn’t alone in these feelings. In fact, many pregnant women go through many
hard mental as well as physical changes during pregnancy. While many women
report symptoms of a changing attachment style, attachment science isn’t often
applied to pregnancy outside of the mother and child. One study examined this
specifically within teenagers, and found that pregnant teenagers are three
times more likely to form an insecure attachment style such as enmeshed
(anxious), angry-dismissive (avoidant), or fearful1. This in turn contributes
to significantly higher rates of depression for pregnant women. Adult pregnant
women were also found to have a more insecure attachment style compared
to pregnant teenagers1.
However,
pregnancy also has the ability to cause
many positives in relationships. When asked about positives she saw in her
relationship while pregnant, Cindy recalled:
“While the ‘stereotypical’ romantic things died down, I fell in love with [my husband] more and more while pregnant. Going through something like this together really strengthens your bond, your trust, and your commitment to each other. I felt very happy and safe, even if the romantic picnics weren’t as frequent anymore.”
Pregnancy
is a huge change for many individuals, and has the possibility to lead to both
positive and negative outcomes. I think one of the key takeaways from this
topic is that more research needs to be done to examine the relationship
between pregnancy and romantic attachment. It is also important to think of
ways we can support pregnant persons and how individuals whose partners are
pregnant can foster a secure attachment style during this time.
I’d
love to hear how you think people can foster a secure attachment style while
going through pregnancy, and how can they keep this going after the baby is
born. Comment your thoughts below!
1 Figueiredo, B., Bifulco, A., Pacheco, A.,
Costa, R., & Magarinho, R. (2006). Teenage pregnancy, attachment
style, and depression: A comparison of teenage and adult pregnant women in a
Portuguese series. Attachment & Human Development, 8(2), 123–138.
https://doi-org.ezproxy2.library.colostate.edu/10.1080/14616730600785686
Your blog post was extremely informative and I learned a lot from reading it! Although I personally have never been pregnant, I know many people who have and who have struggled with attachment during their pregnancy. I think we often forget how changing pregnancy is to not only your body, but also your life. I loved how your mother discussed how her pregnancy strengthened her and her husband’s bond. That is such a beautiful thing and I think it’s amazing that they were able to grow together during this process! I think you also could have interviewed someone whose pregnancy negatively affected their marriage to hear from both sides. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! I enjoyed reading your post on attachment struggles during pregnancy. I found this to be a very interesting topic, and it is not one I have heard much about before. I think people can either become very dependent in their partner while pregnant, or distance themselves as they are struggling with their own body image. Many people have high levels of emotions while pregnant which can definitely affect attachment styles and relationships. I really liked your moms comment on how her pregnancy affected her relationship as I am sure many women go through the same thing. I am very curious how my attachment style will change whenever I am pregnant and how that will affect my relationship.
ReplyDeleteHi, Sophie. I thought your post on attachment related to pregnancy was really interesting. I know my mom struggled with a lot of this during and after her pregnancies with me and my brother. Especially following the birth of my little brother, she had a hard time being a stay-at-home mom with a 2-year-old and an infant. She said it took a big toll on her relationships with my dad and it was really hard to deal with all the “new” in her life. Luckily her and my dad had already formed a secure attachment prior to having kids.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie. I really enjoyed reading your post about attachment related to pregnancy. I find this topic to be very interesting because pregnancy is a very big change in many individuals lives. And does as a result have both positive and negative outcomes on the mothers. I feel like it is something that needs to be covered more. As well as also focusing on different situations. You mention how pregnancy brought your mother and her husband together, so I am just wondering how does attachment in different situation are like. For example with single mothers, I would personally say it can affect them more to a certain degree. Only based on my sister situation where she did develop insecure attachment since she did not have the support she was expecting. She had to do many things on her own since she does not have a partner to be her support system. She was very insecure about herself since she doubted her worth and self image based on the father leaving the picture.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie. I enjoyed reading your blog post and learning about the different attachment styles in relation to pregnancy. Truthfully, this is something I had never thought about, but now that it has been brought to my attention, I have a new perspective. As you mentioned how your mom felt safe and secure in her marriage amidst some uncertainty in her pregnancy, it made me think about my own mom and her different pregnancies. When my mom was first pregnant, she was 19, and with someone she didn't have a secure attachment with, versus when she was pregnant with my brother and I, she was much older, and had a secure attachment in her relationship. I am curious now how these pregnancies differed, but to my knowledge, her pregnancies were significantly less stressful with my brother and me. I love this perspective you brought up in relation to attachment style. Great Post!
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post and how you mentioned you didn't have any pregnancy encounters yourself, but you saw your mom experience this. I could say the same. I was able to watch my mom be pregnant four times. And each time was different even though I do not remember much being four years old and one of my sisters being born. However, as I got older I was able to see attachment changes within her now that I think about it, and it definitely affected her romantic relationship with my step-dad and I could see they did not communicate through most things.
Thank you for sharing!
Hi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI also don't have an children or have been pregnant myself but have seen it from other people around me. My sister-in-law really struggled with postpartum depression, her mother passed away two years ago from breast cancer, and she mentioned to us that it was even harder for her to not have her mother around. For the most part, I think our mothers are a form of support, especially during such a big milestone in our lives. For her, she said she felt as she didn't have that support, even though my family and myself were there for her. I noticed the depression, and anxiety she had. As well as the detachment from my brother and my family. She went to therapy, as a first time mom she thought it would be very helpful for her, and it really was. I really liked your perspective on this.
Thank you for sharing!
Hi Nalani,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post and how pregnancy can change the way a woman may feel and experience. I found it interesting that a study found in pregnant teenagers are three times more likely to form an insecure attachment style. Although I have not experienced myself, I found this to be true and an example is my friend who is 8 months pregnant. I have found my friend being more insecure in her decisions and on what to wear. She tells me she is afraid she won’t be a good mother or if her relationship will last. I do believe that pregnancy has positive effects and I try to help my friend get the best experience from her pregnancy.
wrote this on the wrong post, so sorry.
DeleteHi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post and how pregnancy can change the way a woman may feel and experience. I found it interesting that a study found in pregnant teenagers are three times more likely to form an insecure attachment style. Although I have not experienced myself, I found this to be true and an example is my friend who is 8 months pregnant. I have found my friend being more insecure in her decisions and on what to wear. She tells me she is afraid she won’t be a good mother or if her relationship will last. I do believe that pregnancy has positive effects and I try to help my friend get the best experience from her pregnancy.
Hi Sophie, I found the topic of your post to be super interesting. A lot of the time I think people focus on the attachment relationship between the new-born child and the mother and the mother’s own attachment during pregnancy gets overlooked. In relation to your mom’s body-image changes, my aunt experienced something really similar. At the same time, I found it really sweet that your mom felt a stronger and more powerful bond with your father while she was pregnant. I agree that more research needs to be done on this topic and I think it’s super important to support pregnant women in fostering a secure attachment during this time.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, while reading your blog post I was thinking about my mother being pregnant with my youngest sister Aimee. While my father was deployed to Iraq, she was forced to take care of two little children all while being pregnant with her third and last child. Like you mentioned, pregnancy can be so exciting, but for a woman raising two toddlers alone, the anxiety and depression hit her hard. My mother has an anxious attachment style, I know this because we are so similar in how we think and feel emotions. Sadly, being an only mother for such long time caused our attachment to her and her to us to be anything but secure. - Ashley Hildreth
ReplyDeleteSophie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this post and creating such a well thought out post with very valuable information. I agree with you that more research is needed in this area and expanding on previous research on attachment. I was able to reflect on when my cousin was pregnant and the positive and negative components that arise especially in terms of attachment. From my view she really struggled with her self-image and the age of social media was not helpful during post-partum with all of “ideal” posts that she was seeing on her feed. Being a new mom is not glamorous and is a season that takes some adjusting. I also was able to see positives in her relationship with those close to her and how the support from loved ones was something that really helped her. I think that people can foster a secure attachment style while going through pregnancy by allowing loved ones to support in ways that you might not think you need help or support.
Although I have not had my own experience with pregnancy, I have a number of friends who have had children of their own. I would say that attachment style changing during pregnancy may also depend on the age of the mother and father. All of my friends who have children of their own went through pregnancy before they were age 20, and only one of them is still with the father. Although I think that a woman at any age can experience attachment struggles during pregnancy, I would be curious to know what other factors play a role, such as age or past relationship history.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really informative post because I have never been pregnant before. Being pregnant is not something I think about a lot and reading this post really opened my eyes to what a pregnant woman goes through during her pregnancy. It is an interesting relationship between a woman's pregnancy and her emotions. This is supposed to be the happiest experience a woman goes through that brings something that brings out a maternal side to a woman. But along with all that joy and excitement comes potential depression and anxiety. This post was really well done and taught me a lot.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! It was great to see that you took the initiative to explore a topic that is not heavily researched or frequently discussed. I think this is an important concept to discuss with pregnant mothers as they may be facing new attachment styles and needs that they have never experienced before. I can imagine that I will expereince both the attachment struggles, and the attachment benefits you mentioned. I see a lot of Tik Toks where wives post how they fall in love with their husbands once again when they see them caring for their infant or child. This can relate to the attachment benefits you mentioned. I can imagine that in the future I would also have new feelings of bondedness to my partner while being pregnant. However, I can also imagine myself struggling with the attachment struggles as I begin a new transition in life that can be extremely challenging. Thanks for sharing some more information about this topic!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, I really enjoyed reading your post about pregnancy. I personally have never been pregnant, but I found that your blog post to be very informative. I think that oftentimes as a society and individuals we overlook pregnant women in the sense when they are ‘moody’ we say ‘oh it's just because they are pregnant. On the other hand, many individuals forget that the woman is experiencing extreme changes within her own body. I think that this is a time that we should support pregnant mothers such as what your own mother went through. I cant even imagine what it is like to be a single mother in this position or someone that is going through teen pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think that a pregnancy can be a very impactful moment in a couple's relationship. I haven't really ever thought about attachment styles during pregnancy before reading your post. Thinking about it now, I think that a way that couples could help develop a secure attachment style during pregnancy is by doing things together that you both enjoy. Go on dates more often, do little things for each other, and verbally communicate your thoughts and even fears about having a baby/pregnancy together. I feel like having extra quality time together before having a baby would be beneficial. Communication is key to me in every relationship, especially communicating your fears or concerns to one another. Although I've never had any personal experience with this, one day I do want to be able to experience pregnancy as well as secure attachment to my partner.
Hi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI found your post to be very fascinating as people do not normally talk about pregnancy and attachment with their partner. I understand how attachment among couples can change during this time as women may feel depressed, anxious, and self-conscious of their body. I found that it to be extremely beautiful how your mother felt that her and her partners attachment and relationship grew stronger. I find that understanding attachment in all life cases is very important and influential especially being a HDFS major and future therapist. This information will help me better understand attachment and how important communication is with my partner when I experience pregnancy.
I found this post to be very interesting! I had never thought about the details that come along with pregnancy. Of course like many things, there are positives and negatives. I think many women who have had experience with pregnancy could relate to your mother, Cindy. I've noticed that since a family friend got pregnant, the couple stopped having the romantic things they often had, but they did mention having a stronger relationship with more trust and satisfaction. I also found it interesting that pregnancy could form an insecure attachment style and lead to depression. I never knew pregnancy had such an effect on attachment style. Thank you for your insights!
ReplyDeleteHi there! I really enjoyed reading your blog post! I am a woman who hopes to be pregnant one day and I feel like there is very little research on pregnancy and how it can change so many aspects of someones identity. I have no idea what to expect for myself when I am pregnant one day. I will be doing more research, obviously, when pregnancy becomes more of a realistic possibility for me. However, there is so much we learn about in HDFS at CSU and I feel like there is very little on pregnancy. Every person is different and every pregnancy is different but I really don't know what to expect besides the physical and chemical differences in the body during pregnancy. I think pregnancy and what to expect should be not only an issue that women have to research on their own but something everyone should have general knowledge of. I would like to see a lot more research and support for pregnant women be more accessible and more advertised. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteHello, I thought your blog was very insightful in showing both the positives and negatives attachment styles that come with pregnancy. Personally I know that my aunt has recently had a baby at 42, which is a bit older to have a baby. So stated how she fell into a deep depression after having the baby and the effect that it had on her baby shows in her actions today. She is very distrusting of anyone and shows signs of aggression. It was very interesting about how teen pregnancy also has an effect on the mental state of the mother and that can alter it's relationship with the child.
ReplyDeleteHi, I thought this post was very interesting for me to read as I haven't really thought about or paid attention to changes in attachment during pregnancy. I have seen others having a pregnancy with showing both positive and depressed feelings towards their partners or friends but I used to think that this usually happens to certain people who are obsessed with downside feelings as I never really thought of being pregnant. After reading your post and found it informative, I learned that people with pregnancy get higher rates of being depressive, anxious, and avoidant at the same time and I also felt that I should always be the one supporting these people as I now know they could be having one of the hardest time in their lives after being pregnant. Thank you for sharing and I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie. I enjoyed reading your blog, and I thought that you had a lot of great things to say regarding attachment struggles during pregnancy. Pregnancy and attachment are exciting that I did not know a lot about. When pregnancy occurs in a family, it is a massive change in their everyday life. The mother's hormones are changing, resulting in depression, as you stated in your blog. I appreciate how you talked about how your mom was feeling during the times were during her pregnancy. When my mom was pregnant with my sister, she was already a stay-at-home mom, which resulted in a difficult time with her marriage. After my sister was born, she recovered and had a secure attachment. Overall, your blog was very informative and exciting. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHello Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your blog post. The topic about attachment development and pregnancy has not been an issue that I've put much thought into. Looking back on my sister's pregnancy, I would see some development, especially when my sister and my brother-in-law realized they were going to be parents, she was going through many emotions during her pregnancy and her husband was really attentive throughout the whole pregnancy. Their dynamic changed when my sister gave birth, she went through a postpartum depression where they were both struggling with the arrival of their newborn and her depression symptoms. With help she was able to get past this, but their relationship did suffer during this time period.
My mother experienced a great deal of changes and struggles during all her pregnancies as well. I recall her reflecting on that time she spent pregnant and the very real affects it had on her relationship with my father. While it has now left them stronger, it was a difficult time to be in a relationship. My mom also cites that she cannot imagine having done it alone. Although, during her pregnancy her hormones, shifting mental state, and physical state caused complications in their traditional relationship dynamic it was so important to have my dad’s emotional and physical support during this time. She always said that he filled in for her wherever she found herself lacking during the pregnancy journey and was the greatest help. While they both could reflect on not great times of pregnancy they were able to make the experience a net positive, largely attributed to their attachment style.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered why women were significantly meaner to their partners during pregnancy. I figured it was the hormones or something but being pregnant now I find it less difficult to understand. AS my body, emotions and mind go through 100 different things all in one day I can see where the hate and irritation stems from. I love my husband deeply and he has been very loving and caring through the past couple of months but there are times when we fight and it's usually due to a wave of emotions that hits me that I then pass on to him. I feel the mother is the most important being at the time but what about the dad? Is it fair to neglect them? Their changes may be less extreme but they are changes non the less, they go through and feel a lot too, is it fair to push them aside? If mom is unhappy ultimately so is the father or significant other and if the significant other is unhappy then so is the mother ... So what does it mean when they're both unhappy and what are those in the relationship, whose "job" is it to fix it and how should they go about that?
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI had never previously considered the relationship between pregnancy and attachment. However, I really like the experiences of your mother and how they related to different attachment styles. First, I think it is incredibly important to consider both the positive and negative experiences that can come from pregnancy and from a mother with changing self-image and experiencing many new things for the first time. While not having my own hands-on experience with pregnancy, after watching two of my sisters-in-law be pregnant, I understand how taxing it can be to realize a changing body and a different relationship with their partner. But I think once a woman has a baby, at least in the case for those I’ve seen, it all becomes worth once the baby is born and they begin to adapt to motherhood. I think this adjustment can help maintain secure attachment after pregnancy. Great blog post!
I have never thought about attachment during pregnancy with a romantic partner rather than with the baby however this makes complete sense. It does not surprise me that pregnant women turn towards a more insecure attachment style as this is a time of growth physically, mentally, and emotionally. I also love the idea of someone falling in love more and more while pregnant. This is such a great experience of how important shared life experiences are. I would love to interview my mom on this topic to see if she had similar experiences with this or not. My guess would be that she did, as I was the first born and there were many nerves and her and my dad had no family living in Colorado with them.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! My mom is a good example of pregnancy experience because she has been pregnant four times. She always has told me that she absolutely loved being pregnant, and although she went through extreme changes physically, she was happy because she would focus on bonding with my dad and with her baby, or my siblings and I as well. I think forming a secure attachment style while pregnant can depend on the support you have either from your partner, family and friends, as well as personal. Being supported and loved by others while pregnant and then being able to reciprocate those feelings. Pregnancy is hard, and forming a secure style of attachment is important for the baby but also the partner. Allowing space to learn and grow with support from others I think can benefit attachment style. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this blog post, it covers a topic that we don’t think to pay much attention to. Not only is being pregnant a beautiful thing if you choose to take that path and are able, but people never talk about the hard things. I recently had a conversation with my mom about pregnancy (as l have no firsthand experience), and she was just telling me how scarry being pregnant is when its planned and how terrifying it probably is when you aren’t planning on it. Not that it is any less exciting and beautiful but terrifying none the less. With this in mind, for those who plan and those who don’t the change that your relationship goes through is crazy. I never thought about the aspect of attachment in this jumble of emotions, and how the mother’s and the father’s, or two partners, attachments to one another changes. While I’m sure, like said in the blog, there is a beautiful experience that is shared and helps to bond the parents. There are also possibilities for those like me with anxious attachment styles to sit in fear a lot. With thoughts of how this will affect the future of your romantic relationship, and your partners attraction to you. Regardless of their love and support your body will change and it may be incredibly hard for the one whose body is changing to figure that piece out. Thanks so much for your post!
Hi Sophie! This blog was very insightful. I do not normally think or hear about how attachment styles change throughout pregnancy. Thank you for teaching me about this! I do not have much experience with attachment and pregnancy, but I do know many people who had difficult relationships with their own self-image while pregnant. Their body was changing a lot and that led to having a negative body image. I know when I am feeling more negative about my own looks, it is harder for me to make connections due to being self conscious. I can only imagine what it feels like being pregnant for months and how it impacts one’s own committed relationship. Thank you for your blog!
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie, reading your post got me thinking about how pregnancy affects our attachment and romantic relationships. I, however, have not been pregnant; my older sister had her first son when I was 15 years old. I remember watching her go through all the different stages of being pregnant and even waiting at the hospital for my nephew to be born. I didn't notice how it affected her relationship with her husband. They seem as happy and over the moon waiting for their firstborn. In your post, I didn't think that pregnancy could alter one's attachment style and that how old a woman is can also affect that same attachment style. This post was fascinating to read, and thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteThat was a very interesting blog post! While I am not pregnant and don't plan to be for some years, I want to be as ready as I can for whenever it happens. I am aware that my body will change and so will the relationships with my loved ones. I think it is very important for the people surrounding pregnant women to be supportive and be thoughtful of the life-changing experience they are going through. My sister-in-law suffered from prenatal and postpartum depression and it was an eye-opening experience to me, as I had never thought that pregnancy could be anything else than the most perfect time of your life.
This post has been very eye opening to me as I have never thought about the ways in which pregnancy might impact attachment in women. When I think about what it must be like to be pregnant, there are a lot of uncertainties for me. I am hoping that when I am ready to have a child that it is while I am in a stable and committed relationship. Unfortunately, I have not been exposed the greatest representations of stable relationships while growing up. However, I am hoping that that will change with me. I hope that I will be in a situation where I will be able to trust my partner to support me physically and emotionally during such a vulnerable time.
ReplyDeleteSophie, I really enjoyed reading your blog about pregnancy. I have never really thought about the way pregnancy can affect the parent's relationships. I thought your incorporation of both negative and positive effects brought everything around full circle. I think what your mother went through with feeling insecure about her image is a very common thing that a lot of people overlook. I do like how you made sure to mention the positive side of pregnancy as well as it tends to be one of the biggest changes couples go through. It was interesting to learn how it actually made your mom fall more in love with your dad. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! I really enjoyed reading your blog post and found this a really interesting topic discussed. I never really thought about the mental challenges that woman go through while being pregnant because most of what is talked about in pregnancy is the good things. I also never really about the effects it has on relationships and how it can change the relationship based on attachment styles. I found it really interesting with your interview how she mentioned that she really just felt insecure about her body and based on her attachment style she thought it would change how her husband viewed her. I also really liked reading about how during pregnancy it can also be a really good thing for the relationship and make them stronger.
ReplyDeletePregnant women undergo many hormonal changes and intense feelings while they are facing many challenges. I talked with my mom about her experiences being pregnant with my brother and I. She highlights how she has always had a secure attachment in her relationships, however this became unstable when she went through her first pregnancy. She felt many emotions she had never experienced before and had to have many talks with her husband throughout the process. I agree this could be common for many women while they are pregnant, since they are feeling many different emotions and may not know how to handle them.
ReplyDeleteHey Sophie,
ReplyDeleteIt is quite unfortunate that women undergo so many physical changes that result in them feeling so alone during such a beautiful process of life. Although, birth is a beautiful act the lack of support that women receive during this time can have really negative mental effects on them. it might not be the partners fault, but it is still a hard time for women. I think preparing for this as a couple would set the women for success in not experiencing depression.
Hello Sophie, I also don't have any personal experience with being pregnant, but I have also witnessed and been there for other family members. I have heard them struggle with their body image but this would happen after they gave birth. Also with the feeling of being insecure in their relationship. But I really loved how you mentioned that it's not all negative when it comes to being pregnant because individuals take this as a blessing. It is interesting to see how attachment styles can impact these relationships but they sometimes tend to be in a positive way. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie! Thank you so much for bringing to light the attachment difficulties that one might experience throughout pregnancy. One thing that really struck me was how your attachment to your partner can change due to the changes you are going through yourself. Although I have not got to experience being pregnant myself, I have been witness to many others. Throughout their journeys, I have noticed these such changes especially when it comes to self-image. However, I have also noticed how it brings couples closer together because you are sharing a life-changing experience. I would love to learn more about how attachment may change throughout pregnancy from others!
ReplyDeleteThat was an incredibly insightful post and it shed a lot of light on the struggle of pregnancy that most people don't necessarily see. I didn't have any experience within this field but the information you presented makes a lot of sense. I think that focusing on really anything but themselves is imperative within the pregnancy, making sure the baby's development goes smoothly. With that, forming attachments becomes much harder, especially with how much change is actually occurring, both between the mother and fathers relationship, but with the mother individually. that's a big expectation for the mother to be focusing on anything but herself during pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteHello! I never really thought about attachment styles during pregnancy so reading this blog post was very interesting. I too have no experience with pregnancy, but based on stories I’ve heard, it’s a life changing experience that shifts one's priorities. After reading your post, I asked my mother about her pregnancies and how her attachment styles changed with my father. She explained having a positive pregnancy experience that allowed her to grow closer with my father. She emphasized how having a partner who supported her and understood the challenges of pregnancy, allowed her to sustain a secure attachment. Ultimately, I find it really interesting how attachment styles alter during pregnancy, however, I agree that more research needs to be done to better understand this concept.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
I really liked this blog post! I have never gone through this but I can imagine it could almost completely change who you are. Attachment style I believe is ever changing, but imagine what it’s like when everything about you is changing? Your hormones, looks, the way you feel, and what you can do in everyday life changes. I am sure one would gain a more insecure attachment style even they had a very secure attachment style before the pregnancy. I think an example of this is your relationship with your partner, there might be a lower amount of sexual tension between the couple because of the insecurity.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie. After reading your blog, I found it helpful to see the ways that you tied attachment styles into pregnancy patterns. I think that no matter what the attachment styles are of the partners, these problems can often arise during pregnancy either way. However, the additional stress of these can definitely play a role. One thing that I think worked well for my parents while pregnant was to understand these attachment styles and what they mean, prior to the pregnancy (if possible). Doing this helps you to understand what conversations may arise during this time and to not discouraged if these concerns are brought up.
ReplyDeleteI think this topic is very interesting because as we al know pregnancy is a life changing experience and to see how it affects attachment styles isn’t something I had ever thought about before. Talking to my mom about her pregnancy she claims that the love she has felt in her life was changed forever as she felt love for her babies like she had never felt love before, but she has never really mentioned how it changed the relationship she had with my dad. I think partners learning ways to increase their attachment and reinforce the relationship when going through pregnancy could bring a whole new level to attachments and it would be interesting to see a study done on pregnancies where both individuals in the relationship are able to stay home and spend increased amounts of time together. Overall, this topic has inspired me to investigate more research and ask the women of my family how pregnancy affected their relationships.
ReplyDeleteHi! I enjoyed reading your post and analysis of pregnancy and the changes in attachment this experience may bring. I appreciated your comment on the difficulties some may experience during pregnancy such as poor body image, and how this may negatively impact attachment to one’s partner. I resonated with the feeling of closeness and more secure attachment during this time, however. Watching my own parent’s relationship and dynamic shift during my mom’s pregnancy with my younger sister reflected this trend. A life changing experience, such as having a child, is bound to create shifts in attachment style and relationship dynamics.
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that every woman may have different experiences when it comes to expecting their baby. I definitely did not have the “fairytale” pregnancy many women talked about, but I did see a transformation in my attachment style. Rather than being so anxious, I became so uncomfortably physically that I relied heavily on my husband’s help, thus allowing me to become very appreciative of his attentiveness. Nevertheless, we did had concerns of establishing a strong bond and care for our daughter. We attended every class available at our local hospital, we did research, but honestly nothing could have prepared us for the entire experience. For us, the bond with our daughter was almost instant, however I have heard of instances when mothers are unable to have that instantaneous connection. Making it a process that takes some time.
ReplyDeleteI have never really thought about any negative effects being pregnant has. I always thought that it would bring couples closer together when in some cases it may not. Being pregnant probably dies to affect many people's self-esteem and self-image. Due to being most likely the biggest you have ever been and feeling unattractive toward your partner. Feeling bad about oneself can affect a relationship. I have felt that before when I don’t feel good about myself it affects the happiness in my relationship. I wonder if this issue is worse after birth due to those body changes or if the baby being there brings the couple more together.
ReplyDeleteThis blog was really interesting because we have always known that pregnancy is hard on an individual but often times don’t think about the influence a partner can have on them. Many of the women in my life that have had children comment on the lack of support from their significant other, I think this support isn’t accounted for. I read a quote once that said the treatment of your significant other while pregnant really shows how they feel about you and how much they care for you. I always remember this because a woman goes through so much during pregnancy, self-image being one of the biggest changes, and not having a partner who shows interest or emotional support can be very hard. Growing a human being must be so exhausting and lacking a secure attachment with your significant other I would think makes it worse.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of things that people do not talk about when it comes to pregnancy. I think overall everyone makes it out to be a beautiful and exciting experience. Not many people mention the hardships that come with it. I did not consider it until my cousin around my age became a mother. She mentioned a lot of what you did about the difficulties it brought to her about her image and stress of being a young mom. Romantic attachment seems to be something important between ones partner and pregnancy. I am interested to see how this plays out for me if and when I ever get to be a mother one day.
ReplyDeleteI often think about this topic when people ask me if I want to have children. Although pregnancy sounds like a beautiful experience I can't help but to think about all of the challenges that people face when they are pregnant. I already am an insecure person and I have an anxious attachment style so I would imagine that it would exacerbate all of the emotions that I would already be going through. I would imagine that the attachment you form with your partner would influence the experience especially since it is such a vunerable time. There are many changes that happen at an emotional and physical level. Maybe even the attachment with parents would influence the way that someone might feel during their pregnancy. Especially if the relationship is not very good because it would cause even more isolation than what they will already be feeling.
ReplyDeleteI have never personally been pregnant but I did help my aunt after she gave birth to one of my cousins. This was mostly due to her dealing with postpartum symptoms. However, when I was staying with her I was very young and I did not know she was dealing with any of this. I later found out that she was also very worried about her image and struggled a lot during the pregnancy. Although she did have many positives that came with this. One being this is her first pregnancy and her being excited to have a child. I think that the right support from either a partner or someone close can help out women through their pregnancy.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is such a life changing experience for women. There are a lot of changes and pressure on women during pregnancy. They are preparing for a baby, while also being a partner, maintaining a home, and caring for their body. After reading the blog, I felt how difficult it was for the mother to try and connect with her husband after dealing with so much. Partners for women who are pregnant should be more aware of the difficulties women face through pregnancy so that they don’t feel alone during this life altering moment in their life. Also, being aware that a pregnant woman may be more distant or is experiencing a lot of change, so that the partner doesn’t feel unloved.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I can personally relate to. Around the time I was pregnant with my daughter, I would say I was more of the anxious attachment style. Being pregnant really brought out a lot of stress and anxiety about my well-being and where my relationship stood as we weren’t even dating a year before I got pregnant. I remember expressing my stress through complaints or crying and my friends and family would just laugh and say it’s all hormones. That comment always left me feeling invalidated and more stressed. I wasn’t aware of attachment styles at the time. Now I wonder if my anxious attachment style had a lot to do with why I was feeling so stressed out as if the world was caving in when I was pregnant.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is such a unique time, bringing excitement and big changes to relationships. It’s interesting to see how attachment styles can shift, especially when balancing the highs of preparing for a baby with the challenges of physical and emotional stress. The study showing that insecure attachment styles are more common in pregnant women than expected really makes sense when we consider the big life shift that’s happening. Your mom’s experience of feeling both closer to her partner while also struggling with the effects of pregnancy is a good reminder that attachment isn’t static—it changes as life does. Supporting one another during these changes seems key, especially in maintaining that sense of safety and trust, even if the relationship looks a little different in terms of romance.
ReplyDelete• Hi Sophie! This was super interesting, thanks for sharing! I had never thought of changes in attachment styles while pregnant. I have had a few friends go through pregnancy and I have been able to watch their physical, mental, and emotional changes in turn impacting their attachment styles. Reading your blog post helped make interactions during their pregnancies connect to changes in their attachment styles. From my friends who have had children they were in-between the ages of 19-25 and it was interesting to see how the pregnancies impacted them differently mentally as their bodies were changing to support a new human.
ReplyDeleteThis is a super interesting topic. That is definitely important with a lot of women. I found this super interesting to read. I know that a lot of women go through challenges about being pregnant with their image and how they feel about themselves. I do believe that is important to remember that you are creating life in your body and it is normal for your body to fluctuate and change. This is also an amazing and beautiful time to grow with your husband or partner. This can be something that really bonds the two of you and creates, a wonderful environment to bring a baby into. I only know one pregnant person so I have yet to know a lot of information about this topic. It is very interesting reading other experiences.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated reading about your post and had never heard or learned about attachment styles during pregnancy. After reading your post, I feel like this should be talked about more often with women who are pregnant as well as those who are actively trying to get pregnant. Although pregnancy is a beautiful milestone in a couple’s life, I think people tend to forget that pregnancy isn’t taxing on the body but also can create dependency in partnership leading to problems after pregnancy. I have witnessed many couples experience a big shift in their relationships when they had to learn how to change their lives as well as alter their relationship for their child. However, I do believe that the majority of the time everything works out for the best!
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