Before we make the decision to pursue earning a secure attachment, we must decide if it is worth the work and reflection; which in my opinion, it is. Individuals who have a secure attachment have a higher self-esteem, are comfortable sharing emotions, more independent, and have better communication skills to list a few benefits2. This is an extremely shortened list of traits associated with a secure attachment. In addition to providing personal benefits, having a secure attachment also improves our romantic and personal relationships1. When we are in a securely attached relationship, we experience higher satisfaction, intimacy, and trust. We also experience better conflict resolution and less overall conflict in the relationship. Everyone can experience a secure attachment; it is not out of our reach1.
One way that we can change our attachment style is by forming new relationships with others who can serve as attachment figures3. These relationships can be with friends or romantic partners3. Emerging adulthood is a great time to find others to form these relationships with because for most of us, this is the first time that we are leaving our parents and meeting people outside of our hometown. I know this is true especially for me; during the last four years at CSU I have met so many people that have become my second family. These new attachment figures, most commonly romantic partners, often displace our caregivers and become a key attachment figure3. This study found that we rank our attachment figures from most to least important based on their accessibility and support of our attachment needs (think back to safe haven and proximity maintenance). During childhood our caregiver, typically our mother, is our most important attachment figure but when we enter into romantic relationships our partner often eventually replaces our caregiver(s) in the most important slot (but remember our caregivers may remain key attachment figures throughout our lives)3. Rose, mentioned in my Happily Attached Forever blog, has gained a secure attachment with her fiancé Aaron. I asked her to rank her attachment figures based on importance.
“This is the first time in my life I could actually list a personal relationship BEFORE my immediate family. I would rank it as the following. Aaron is definitely first—and he will be for the rest of my life. My immediate family (parents and siblings) follow right after him. They all know me at a great depth, especially my oldest sister Allyson. My close friends come right after my family. I want good things for them and they’re on my mind a lot. I rejoice in my friends’ highs and share in their lows. I actually think troubles in friendships are my highest level of self-inflicted stress—if I feel some sort of conflict with a friend of mine, I’ll just stress over it until it is solved.”
Though we can gain a secure attachment through our relationships, it is important to remember that for this to occur our attachment figure needs to have or be working towards a secure attachment1. This requires a high amount of intentionality when determining who we should form relationships with4. We cannot gain a secure attachment if we are in relationships with only insecurely attached individuals1. We must also be intentional about our own behavior in our relationships4. We should work on pursuing healthy behaviors such as slowly trusting our partner more and gaining a healthy amount of intimacy4. We are active agents in this change as well. We cannot just rely on our securely attached partner to make this change occur. I asked Rose what she did to gain a secure attachment with Aaron.
“To gain a secure attachment with Aaron, I had to determine if I could trust him. I think the biggest milestone for me was actually sharing some unfortunate truths about myself with him. Sharing the worst things about myself with Aaron and realizing that they didn’t push him away gave me great confidence in our relationship. He didn’t reject me at my worst, and that removed a lot of uncertainty from our relationship”.
As well as seeking relationships with secure individuals we can apply the reflections we have been making throughout these blogs to redefine our identity4. We have to believe that we are worthy and capable of a secure attachment. An important aspect that allows us to redefine our identity is removing any victim mentality that we may have from our childhood relationships. This is not an easy task that occurs overnight but there are multiple resources that we can use such as therapy, self-help books, or revisiting our past relationships to make amends4. Everyone is capable of achieving a secure attachment style if they reflect on their own relationships and characteristics and are willing to make changes. The most impactful ways that we can gain a secure attachment is through engaging in healthy secure relationships, being intentional, and redefining our identity. These behaviors will require conscious thought and reflection, but they are doable. We are in charge of our own attachment style, and it is up to us to pursue healthy and positive behaviors that will transform our relationships and life.
1Levine, A., & Heller R. S. F. (2010). Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep- love. Penguin Group.
2Rotner, J. (2020). HDFS 311: Family Relationships [PowerPoint slides]. Retrieved from Colorado State University Canvas site for HDFS 311: https://ramct.colostate.edu/
3Keren, E., & Mayseless, O. (2013). The freedom to choose secure attachment relationships in adulthood. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 174(3), 271-290. doi: 10.1080/00221325.2012.681326
4Dansby Olufowote, R. A., Fife, S. T., Schleiden, C., & Whiting, J. B. (2019). How can I become more secure?: A grounded theory of earning secure attachment. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(3), 489-506. https://doi-org.ezproxy2.library.colostate.edu/10.1111/jmft.12409
I really like this whole bit talking about how you need to gain secure attachment. I think it is really scary in the beginning stages of a relationship because you can be afraid to share information with your partner. You sometimes don't know how they will react even though you do. A secure attachment is based on believing in yourself in that relationship also and knowing that your partner is going to be with you no matter what happened in your past. Knowing that you are someone who is able to achieve secure attachment will only help you and your partner in the long run for both of you to have a secure attachment together.
ReplyDeleteThis article gave me some much needed hope about my own personal attachment! Like you mentioned in your first paragraph, the majority of my readings about attachment have focused on the impacts of having an insecure attachment style. As someone who tends to be insecurely attached myself, this can get discouraging for obvious reasons. It was really refreshing to read that my attachment style is not set in stone and that I can be one of those individuals who change their attachment style in adulthood. I definitely agree that being able to create secure attachments is worth the effort and self-reflection! I also really appreciated the tips you provided on how to form these secure attachments, and I will absolutely work on better engaging in healthy secure relationships, being intentional, and redefining my identity in order to do just that.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this article, this made me realize how important secure attachment is for people. I think that people often times do not think that this is an important thing in a relationship. It does not have to be only a romantic relationship, it can be a friend or family relationship as well. I feel like after reading this I feel like I need to really focus on trying to get to the point where I do feel like I have a secure attachment. I find myself as more of an avoidant attachment type of person, and this is something that I have been working on and I feel like this has made me more aware. I also think that this article has opened me up because I now am aware that I deserve to have a secure attachment.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog post I have gained confidence about my ability to develop secure attachments in the future. I have never been involved in a romantic relationship before, and hope to explore the possibility of developing a close relationship with someone other than my immediate family and close friends as I meet more people in college. When you mentioned having to work towards creating secure attachments, it made me realize that I have to be more open and willing to put in the long-term effort required to form a secure attachment with people. The type of connection I desire requires time to build up trust, and I feel that I have been waiting for an instant connection and attachment, when that is simply not realistic. Because of your blog post, I now know that I need to break down the walls I create when with new people, and be willing to let other people into my heart. I have very secure relationships with my parents, however, these relationships also have anxious and avoidant sides to them. I am afraid of creating another important relationship that could become more anxious and avoidant than secure. However, your blog post has helped me understand that by blocking out the chance to create anxious and avoidant relationships, I have also prevented myself from creating secure relationships. From now on I plan to be much more open with my experiences and the relationships I make, and be willing to open up to people who want to connect with me just as much as I want to connect with them.
ReplyDeleteThis post has indefinitely helped me realize what to properly look for in relationships. Just before coming to CSU, I got out of a relationship that was extremely toxic. I had done long distance since I was playing baseball in Kansas while my ex was attending UCCS. She had come out to see me, stayed for a week, and then 2 weeks later abruptly broke up with me. This prompted me to think of all the things I regretfully put myself through because this was my first love, and I was literally blinded by the love. I digress, this post has helped me realize that it is okay to be patient, and I am still young. I have come to realize the things that I am looking for are not prevalent in many girls my age and good things take time. To be truthful, this comment's purpose was to gain me extra credit, but after really reading this particular post, it really made me think of all the things I can easily do better in my search for secure attachments.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your blog post about how one can and should go about developing a better attachment style. When you mentioned how individuals with a secure attachment have more ease sharing emotions I thought about how I am able to share my emotions versus how one of my friends is able to share theirs. My friend and I grew up with different kinds of relationships with our parents and family, which has shown in how we act now. Growing up my parents and siblings always made me feel comfortable and heard while sharing my emotions, whereas my friend’s family did not speak about their emotions on the regular basis and viewed it as something they should not do. This caused my friend to not be as willing to share emotions with their friends or romantic partners. I agree with you that pursuing a secure attachment is worth the work and reflection because of the benefits that a secure attachment can provide for one, as well as the relationships that they pursue in the future.
ReplyDeleteAshlee, wow, this was an interesting post. I have often wondered about some of the practical’s for growing in attachment and empathized with little hope for those who do not have a secure base. It was so good to hear that one can grow in this setting! I was surprised to hear that we have so much control over who we idolize as attachment figures—or even that we get the opportunity to rank them. Maybe this is speaking from great cynicism, but still, this is such a scary process! Especially if one holds an insecure attachment—it would take serious heart work to put your trust in friends or a romantic partner when the world has informed you only of its own unsafety. Another thought I had, also rooted in cynicism, perhaps, is just the reality of dating, even amongst young adult in college. Is it really stable enough to reinform your sense of attachment? I just have watched many friends throughout college get their hearts’ broken by a partner. Plus, the research that points to secure attachment benefitting an individual in conflict resolution, trust, sharing of emotion, etc. Gosh, I guess it just still feels like quite the uphill battle to reorient one’s sense of trust, security, and attachment to people if it was hindered from the start. But I love what you mentioned about therapy and other tactics as well as long, healthy relationships that help this slow regrowth.
ReplyDeleteAshlee, I loved this post on forming a secure attachment. I also think it’s really interesting how you talked about the different ways that attachment affects individuals across their lifetime. I think it gets harder to reconnect with individuals as adults and find secure relationships to hold on, this is why those childhood attachments are so important. Friendships go different ways, relationships end, but your parents are essentially the only people who will be with you forever. If that relationship is created insecurely, it can be so difficult to reform it and ensure that it is healthy once more.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post and how we can help ourselves gain a secure attachment. I agree with you that before making a decision of changing our attachment style we must first reflect on whether it is worth the work. I myself have tried changing my attachment style to a secure attachment. I loved how you included different ways to help gain this secure attachment. I have been forming new relationships who can serve as attachment figures as you mentioned, as they can replace those figures from our childhood. It requires a lot of patience, and reflection in order to gain a secure attachment in our romantic and other relationships. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Ashlee! I really enjoyed reading this blog post of yours. While I was reading, I had a (likely insecure) thought that if I were to be in a relationship with someone with a secure attachment, I feel that it would not be their responsibility to intentionally rebuild my attachment style (from anxious insecure to secure). After all, they already have a secure attachment and being with me could have the potential to work in the other direction of them developing an insecure attachment because of me. While this is likely just an intrusive and anxious thought, I cannot help but to feel that it would be wrong of me to do this to someone, even if I did it unintentionally. However, as I kept reading, you mentioned the importance of letting yourself believe you deserve a secure attachment. I really appreciated this as I could never develop a secure attachment if I keep thinking in my normal pattern, so thank you for the redirection of thought!
ReplyDeleteThis article gave me a better perspective about my future relationships. I love that attachment styles are something that we can actively change. I am definitely working on getting mine back to secure after an unfortunate relationship. I also thought it was eye opening that our significant other tends to replace our primary attachment figure as we grow up. I definitely did this in my last relationship, turning to my partner for everything opposed to my mom who I considered my safe haven. I think it is also important to remind ourselves of our boundaries with our partners because I feel like I might have turned to him for too many things, and when we broke up, I lost that form of security, essentially losing my safe haven. Of course, I still had my mom there, but I realized it was a different form of security. This post was very interesting, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThis was one of my favorite blog posts I have read, and it is super relatable to my current life. I think it is hopeful that one can change their attachment styles, and improve on the things they can do to achieve that. I have some aspects of a secure attachment with my boyfriend, but I know that I have some aspects of anxious attachment as well. I strive to have a fully secure attachment. I think it is also true that when moving out and going to college, if you have a significant other, they pretty much become "your person", your go-to and the one that you invest a lot of your time and feelings into. Thank you so much for sharing, that was super interesting to read!
ReplyDeleteI found this blog post very interesting and I think that you made a lot of really great points that gave me a lot to consider! I completely agree with focusing on being intentional with the relationships that you choose to pursue, as it is important to seek out a comfortable situation that will encourage healthy and consistent growth. I think that secure attachments can be developed over time, as you grow to trust one another and prove that you are worthy of being trusted in return.
ReplyDeleteI think that your post was very beneficial for many reasons. To start, I think that letting people know that their attachment style isn't definite and there is always room to improve and change it. I personally have a more anxious leaning attachment style and I have always been worried that this was it and that I wouldn't be able to ever have a secure one. After reading this blog I have realized that this is not true. The other reason that I really enjoyed this blog is how you gave some tips on how you can work on your attachment style by really taking time to evaluate your relationships and intentionally applying secure attachment style practices to any of your relationships. I think this knowledge can help many people learn more about their attachment styles and how to change it if they feel it could be healthier.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading these blog posts I have definitely realized that my past self and some of my present self, relate entirely to the anxious attachment style. However, I also have noticed that when talking about my current relationship with my partner, my attachment style has grown to be more secure. He makes me feel safe, secure, and no need to be worried about the outcome of our relationship or my insecurities within myself. This has only recently been the case (within the last year) and therefore still strange and new to me. I still at times go back to my old anxious ways and am always met with love and understanding by my boyfriend. This is sort of a funny situation though, he was also anxiously attached before our relationship and there were definite times in the first year that were tough for us to figure out because of us both being anxious, but over the last year we have been able to grow into each other’s secure attachment figures. We have found a way to be the secure partner when the other is struggling and reverting to our old ways which is a super interesting concept. This post really gave me some perspective that there is the ability to change and mature over time and that there is no right way to grow in your attachments. Everyone learns to gain security in different ways when they are able to do so. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that we are not just stuck with the attachment style we have right now. I would be very bummed if I had to stick with anxiety surrounding relationships for the rest of my days. I would love to put in the work so that I can learn, grow, and try to blossom a secure attachment style. If I could work on having a secure attachment style, and I was able to have a higher self-esteem and be more independent I think my personal life and relationships would be so much better/stronger. In the past three years since going through a breakup and then forming new attachments, I have gone back and forth between not caring what kind of morals people have and solely trying to have fun and actually being intentional with who I want to be with. I will say, having intention and looking for morals and agreement makes the pool of subjects much, much smaller.
Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this article was your discussion of the importance of forming a secure attachment. You brought up some really interesting points and gave me a lot to ponder! Additionally, I found it fascinating how you discussed how attachment affects people throughout their lives. People change, relationships end, but your parents will always be there.The toughest part of re-establishing that relationship is to ensure that it is secure once more if it was once insecure. As you grow to trust one another and demonstrate your worth, secure attachments will develop over time. Thank you for sharing. I will have to learn more about your topic.
This post has allowed me to understand my relationship more, how hard it has been for my boyfriend to develop a secure attachment with me. I know how his family treats him, depending on him yet belittling him at the same time, and how I wanted to be a better person for him, a secure attachment. Although we have grown a lot together, there is still a lot of growth and development that needs to happen. One of which is to reach out and get help from professionals that can help him uncover truths about himself that he has yet to realize. a. This post has allowed me to understand my relationship more, how hard it has been for my boyfriend to develop a secure attachment with me. I know how his family treats him, depending on him yet belittling him at the same time, and how I wanted to be a better person for him, a secure attachment. Although we have grown a lot together, there is still a lot of growth and development that needs to happen. One of which is to reach out and get help from professionals that can help him uncover truths about himself that he has yet to realize.
ReplyDeleteHey Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that if people don’t like their attachment style, that people have the ability to change the attachment style. I thought it was interesting that about one in four individuals change their attachment style. I am in the category of the one out of four because I was in a relationship that was long distance for about three years. My attachment style in that relationship was insecure because I just didn’t trust him. Once that relationship ended, I looked back on the things I would change for next relationship. Now, I am in a relationship with my childhood best friend, but before we agreed to start dating, I was very clear with him that I do have trust issues. I was also very open with him about the things I need in a relationship, and he agreed that he would do all those things to help keep our relationship strong. I think that was the best choice of my life was being completely honest with someone about my needs. The other day, we took an attachment style survey to see what each our attachment style is. I changed my insecure attachment to secure attachment. Great job!
Secure attachment is something that I really want to strive for. After reading this post, I definitely had more hope for turning my attachment style around. I've also noticed that spending my time around my fellow peers who have more of a secure attachment helps understand and realize what a secure attachment looks like. By continuing to do this I think that I can definitely start to change my own attachment style by implementing the things I learn from my secure attachment friends. Overall, this post was incredibly inspiring and really made me feel good about changing my attachment style.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with my attachment for a few years now. It has always been a goal of mine to really focus on gaining a secure attachment. I try to practice new things in everyday life to get me there. I believe myself to have an anxious attachment, which has held me back in many ways. Although it is hard to admit to having an anxious attachment style, I think coming to terms with it has helped me start to change my perspective on certain things in life. It is nice to learn more through these posts! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and research on this subject.
Hello Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I have definitely struggled with attachment during my life. I haven't thought much about it until going through my college classes. I believe that secure attachment is something that everybody strives for but in some senses it seems difficult to achieve. Reading your post has given me some tools to help move forward with this task in my relationships. I believe the biggest tool is knowing what secure attachment is and how to find it within myself and others. I think your post will really help me move forward with my life.
Hey Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI really think that the inclusion of attachment figures was really cool because it is a way to set a support system that will be behind you on your road to improvement. Being able to have someone to keep you going will make you more likely to succeed. I myself often struggle to find the motivation to do something, but if one of my close friends is there telling me to do something I will be more likely to do so, simply off the the fact that that is my friend.
Hi Ashlee, I also forget to remember that attachment styles have so much room for growth, especially as young adults! As you have said, having a securely attached relationship can lead to higher rates of satisfaction, intimacy, and trust - this is something that I have experienced in my current relationship compared to those in the past. I have found that we should not only be intentional when we are finding relationships to be a part of, but we should be intentional while in these relationships. I love how you mention that everyone is capable of achieving a secure relationship! It gives us hope!
ReplyDeleteWhen I started dating I realized pretty early on that I had more of an anxious attachment style. Now I don’t think that stemmed from my attachment from my mom but I think it stemmed from the fact that I had never been in a relationship and I never thought I was going to be in a relationship. So for my first relationship I was extremely anxious and I had the fear of my partner leaving me and when that did happen it made it extremely worse. And I always thought that I would forever have an anxious attachment style and that nothing can change that. However after being in a very healthy relationship with somebody with a secure attachment style I realize thought you can earn or gain a secure attachment style. However it just takes a lot of work in time and there are times where I definitely still show signs of anxious attachment styles however that does not mean that it’s going to be like that forever.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlee. I found that including an interview you had done beneficial in understanding how these changes may be done/seen. I also appreciate the openness regarding the challenges that are present in these types of changes. Understanding that it is possible, but not always easy, is a vital role in being open with your partner. I think that hearing your sister explain that being open, even about some unfortunate past decisions, can help to gain trust with your partner is a great first step. By doing that, you are already being open about things that are hard, showing your partner that you can be trusted, even with the hard conversations.
ReplyDeleteHi! I enjoyed reading your post on this important and impactful topic. Attachment style impacts many aspects of our life, and our overall connection with others. Changing an attachment style from insecure to secure takes intentional shifts in one’s mindset and habits. I have personal experience with this as I sometimes find myself in a more anxious attachment style. Although most of the time I have a secure attachment I frequently must remind myself to shift back in to this mindset and out of an anxious attachment. Childhood has a crucial role in adult attachment styles and romantic relationships and often predicts the success of one’s adult relationships and dynamics.
ReplyDeleteAshlee, it is remarkable how much our adulthood life is impacted by the attachment bonds we establish during our early childhood. As adults, we have all the right to be able to establish those relationships that strengthen us and make us a better human being. However, as a 34-year-old woman I cannot stress how difficult is to make friends at this age. Particularly after you have had children. My old childhood friendships live overseas, and so far in the almost 15 years I have lived in the US I have not been able to make those connections (aside from my husband of course). As a mother, I feel that most of my time involves caring for my girls, it truly becomes difficult at times to separate myself as a woman from me as a mother.
ReplyDeleteGaining a secure attachment is something I have slowly begun working on about a year ago. After declaring an HDFS major and taking more of the classes I was overwhelmed with how much of my learning resonated with my own personal life. Everything started making sense and I began to see my family dynamics through a different lens. It made me really hopeless and I was overanalyzing everything I was doing. However, as soon as I learned that you could change your attachment throughout your life it gave me a huge sense of relief. I think it is amazing that it can be done through friendships as well as romantic relationships. I really liked how you mentioned that it has to be intentional and it is not something that is easy. I have also tried to fix my attachment style through the relationship I have with my parents. Learning about human development has really allowed me to understand my parents and their past at a deeper level. I have tried educating them about how their past impacts who they are now and we have slowly processed both of our traumas. It is not easy but I know it will definitely be worth it and it will help if I ever decide to have children of my own.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who has struggled with gaining a secure attachment with her parents because of childhood trauma. Her family has always had a difficult time understanding why she is the way she is because they don't want to accept responsibility. Not only did her parents have trouble understanding, but they acted as though they didn't want to understand. My friend's mental health has greatly decreased because of this insecure attachment. She has sought out friendships and connections with many other adults that act as her mentors today. She has created stable relationships with others outside of her family, and those connections have improved her mental health. Through these stable relationships and therapy, she has come to know her anxiety comes from the insecure attachment she's always had with her parents due to their own trauma. My friend hopes to be the kind of adult she needed when she was younger. She hopes to stay educated on attachment styles and how each type of attachment can affect one's life.
ReplyDeleteI'm so inspired by your insights on attachment styles and the potential for growth! I've been actively healing my disorganized attachment style and can relate to the journey you've described. It’s empowering to realize that we can work towards a secure attachment through intentional relationships and self-reflection.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that finding the right connections, whether they're friendships or romantic partnerships, plays a crucial role in this process. Just like you mentioned, it often feels like dating when searching for a therapist or supportive figures. Each step forward in this journey truly reinforces our ability to change and improve our relationships. Thank you for sharing such valuable perspectives!
Hi Ashlee! I really appreciate the optimistic tones in this blog post. The idea that we all have the opportunity and potential to change our attachment style and become securely attached. In my experience as someone who has an anxious attachment style, I can actively make decisions and make a conscious effort to react in a way that I assume someone who is securely attached would act. I don't feel like this necessarily changes my attachment style but me making a conscious effort to make more healthy decisions in my personal life. I think maybe to truly change attachment styles you would need to also be in a relationship or friendship with someone who is already securely attached, even though I can hypothesize securely attached behavior from classes and studies, I think experiencing that would make a huge impact. Thank you so much for this post.
ReplyDeleteThe inevitable replacement of your parents as your most important relationship with your partner is a fundamental part of growing older. I find myself seeking out deeper relationships with others due to a lack of experience finding this from my parents. I am much closer with my dad than I am with my mom but I, without a doubt, lean on my partner more than I do them. Even though my partner struggles to offer me the verbal support that I know my dad would, my partner somehow provides me with more comfort. It is fascinating that despite our attachment styles, the relationship between our parents, and the relationships that we form with each of our parents we are able to find or gradually create secure attachments with our partners. Our ability to become securely attached to our partners despite other factors is very comforting to be aware of.
ReplyDeleteI love reading about secure attachment. Having a secure attachment is 100% a choice by an individual. It is some thing that you are able to shift and change to become a secure attachment. It requires intention, choice, and reflection. Having a secure attachment is trusting, loving, and easy once it is achieved. Also having a secure attachment is some thing that a person can work towards and work on every single day. It takes constant choice and growth and it is achievable. Having attachment in a romantic relationship is super important. Remembering that you are a secure and yourself and who you are as a person person first is very important. I know that having a secure attachment with friendships and family and romantic relationships drastically change a persons life. it creates beauty, ease, and joy in relationships.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was great to hear that one in four people change their attachment style. I had a very positive and loving relationship with my mother, my father on the other side I felt created an avoidant later in life. My partner on the other hand has an anxious attachment style. Thankfully we are both working on our attachments. When we get into arguments we are able to realize what our underlying problems are. We are working on the relationship and I think that letting each other see us as how we think is the worst, like how Rose talked to Aaron, this could help us too.
ReplyDelete